And mother told you not to drink and surf....wonder why?
"I'm barely breathing on the edge...I enjoy the view"
-The GC5
November 23, 2003
Quick update on the life of your favorite crazy red head.
I've started bartending again, BUT the place I'm at now is sooo much nicer than the Basin. Plus, I won't be working those godawful graveyard hours, so it's all gravy :)
I've also had some requests to add links to my site, and I have a few new ones of my own I want to add, so I'm going to be slowly overhauling this whole domain to make it much easier to navigate. (A links page, thumbnails for pictures, topic links for my rants, etc.) If you have any suggestions on how I can make this page better, please e-mail me and let me know. I mainly do this for my own amusement, but I like to think I make some people smile. Also, I have the bad habit of being used to a cable internet connection, so most of my pages are high-speed friendly, but not so much for dial-up users. That's going to be part of the overhaul as well. Sorry for all of y'all that have had to deal with that :)
Aside from that, same ol' same ol'. Loving my sweetie and enjoying life, making new friends and drinking too much, although I have cut back on the smoking recently.
More updates to come as the page "mutates" heehee
See me live on my webcam.
Well, since you're so observant and obviously so bored, you get.....
The Joke Of The Day!
ok with my updating skills it's more like joke of the month, so fuck off hehehehe
The Five Stages of Drinking by Larry Miller
LEVEL 1:
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have to work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep (snaps fingers), I'm cool."
LEVEL 2:
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to go to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep (snaps fingers), I'm cool."
LEVEL 3:
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our bartender is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies. (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger.....and he's buying. And you're thinking, "Oh come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep...and a complete change of blood (snaps fingers) I'm cool."
LEVEL 4:
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you didn't like his face! And now you're thinking, "That barback is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an...after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours of sleep anyway, I may as well...STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours of sleep tomorrow..................................cool.
LEVEL 5:
Five in the morning, after unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as...that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell- at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!!!!"- and passes out. You crawl outside for air, and then you hit the worst part of level five- the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you- and they know. And they say..."Who's Ruby?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory like you've beat the night, but if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again (how long?) as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time I mean it!"
ya know, I was going to update the joke of the day, but this took too damn long to type...so fuck it....
ummmm...that's it.....you can find more constructive things to do with your time now....