Movies of 2006

Ian's Top Ten &c.

(Content = me, form = Suck.com)

Many professional movie reviewers, in their annual roundups, happily noted that 2006 was a great year for film. After reading all the lists, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with that: 2006 was a mediocre year for film. Though there were a lot of middling pictures that came out, hardly any of them were the truly outstanding kinds of film that would make a top ten in a great year, not just a sparse one.

Instead of admitting it was a weak year, most critics wrung their hands and lamented that moviegoers weren't listening to their advice. They were lining up to watch dreck like The DaVinci Code and Pirates of the Sequel, movies the critics universally panned. The real question is why it took critics so long to notice that most people don't pay attention to them. Bad movies have been making money as long as I can remember. If no one else will give something a good blurb, there's always Maria Salas.

Furthermore, Pirates II wasn't even that bad.

Really, though, all of the above movies adhere to the perennial rules of Hollywood: popcorn movies do well in the summer; Tom Hanks can save a crappy movie's box office; "message" movies rarely do well, especially if they aren't very good; and hype works better when paired with quality. Those rules are true every year.

The worst movie I personally saw in 2006:
Failure To Launch

SADDEST FILMS FOR TALENTED DIRECTORS
Let's Go To Prison
Unaccompanied Minors