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| 6-8-2002 Rant - the lies they tell It’s 2:41 AM, and for some unknown reason I can’t get my atheistic ass to sleep. I tossed and turned for a while. Finally I just got up and made myself a bowl of vegetarian chili. Which leaves me sitting at my computer desk setting in motion a series of events that will lead to me expelling little fragrant toots all day long tomorrow. I figure sometime around 8:30 or 9:00 PM, after a day of wind blowing, I’ll take a five or six hour break in the restroom, catching up on the latest sounds a man makes when he’s alone in the potty and his stomach is dangling from a thin layer of mucus out of his anus. Ok, enough of the dirty talk. It’s getting me horny, and I’m just too sleepy for that. Here’s what this rant is actually supposed to be about. When it comes to Christians, well, theists in general, one of the first things they’ll do to defend their faith is tell a lie. All atheists have seen this. It’s rather annoying. It isn’t always on purpose, sometimes it’s out of ignorance. It’s the times that it IS on purpose that really gets under my skin. The sad fact that some of these people have children makes it even worse. I’m going to share a personal experience. When I was about 14 years old, I had this “girlfriend“ [she was more of a friend with benefits]. Her name was Leah. At the time I’d decided to try the whole religion thing again, so I went to church with Leah every Sunday, and on many Wednesdays. Her family was fundamentalist, though Leah wasn’t. She was a wild child, but only I know. Maybe I was the cause, I dunno. Anyway, Leah’s dad, Frank, was one of those folks who had no qualms about lying to strengthen his view toward religion. I think that most Christians will give you a medley of truth and lies. The proficient liar uses this tactic to hide his or her lie and make it appear to be more probable. Frank, however, needed no such protection. Good Ol’ Frank wasn’t afraid to make such brazen assertions as, Darwin got on the radio and admitted that he lied about evolution . . . on behalf of the devil. Or that he [Frank] was one of a precious few who saw a private letter written by none other than Abraham Lincoln, expressing what he really wanted for the black people. Lincoln, Frank was kind enough to enlighten me, didn’t want black people (negroids, in the words of this good ol Christian a.k.a. “Frank”) to be free Americans at all. Oh no, you see, Lincoln wanted them shipped back to Africa. So, that’s what they do. They tell likes to fool people. Who did Frank think he was kidding? Me, of course. When he started saying the more ridiculous lies, the two I gave here, I was dating one of Leah’s friends named Katie. Yeah, I kinda forgot about Leah and went to one of her friends. They funny part is that I kept going to church for a while, and I brought my new honey with me. Frank thought he was fooling his two children, Katie, and myself into thinking that Charles Darwin GOT ON THE RADIO and admitted that he lied about evolution FOR THE DEVIL!!!!! If Frank is so uneducated, or thinks that we are so uneducated, that he thinks that Charles Darwin was alive at a time that not only could he get on the radio, but get on the radio in the 90’s so that Frank could hear him, Frank just might need to jump off a bridge. He knew he was lying. Frank was a Christian Fundamentalist, but he wasn’t THAT stupid. He just thought that WE were. What an insult. I stepped out of his van that night when he dropped Katie and me off at my house, never to enter it again. |