her idea affected shoes. went all the way to feet. pioneer,
fetishist. convulsive palsy, she had that effect on people. she liked to get
all palsy-walsy too. i says to her, "this is just bowling, dear." dear
-- one of the most offensive four-letter words available, when used on the
unfamiliar.
the unfamiliar
... who carry guns. (advertise: i am not
closely related to your grudges.) great hunks of greasy meat and the
indigestible phrases of religious texts were found at the autopsy.
states which now
allow carry permits: Alabama, Alaska, California (those of a "good moral
character"), Connecticut, Delaware ("respec- table" citizens
only), Rhode Island, and Florida, amongst others. (i shoulve listed only the
states which dont.) just thought you'd like to be the one who knows.
a comprehensive list of the girls who dont. just knew youd
want to know.
shoes with a
narrow affect. quite broad minded for one with feet so thin. a wide range of
styles and sizes for you to select from. just come on out and see us at
manufactured homes.
smily faces and
wingspread eagles.
the quarter with
the hurricane on the back. a special quarter for each named hurricane.
her idea affected shoes. she also suggested wind farms on
pennsylvania avenue and the capitoline hill. she fell asleep during “the perils
of pauline” and a meteor landed in her living room.
this will likely
affect the way you will walk. thank you, doctor. may i have a large tongue
depressor to take home?
the human form.
the human body is not, never will be, a zero emission vehicle. reiterated over
supper, which he had to sip thru a straw. he threw the crazy straw at her.
entered into evidence: the interesting thing to say.
the human body, wowww, pondered the little crusader.
propeller-heads landed everywhere flat. flattened. kate moss is dressed.
for the occasion.
for to meet the
queen and princess. (i was impressed by the princess's ability to shake off
such an adhesive remark.)
attired for
eating a bag of potato chips. leavings.
moccasin,
senseless, rotator cuff, hint, blintz, fortune tent. geoffrey dollars. and for
that they made grandma stand in line! she was importune.
discomfited.
motion senseless.
a lotion for that. on the market, at leading retailers, or in a kitchen drawer
near you. "the subconscious is a set of drawers. the brain has a long
tongue it can stick into them to root out value," said the man in the
chin-high waders. he had twice won the platinum plumber's friend. "in my
day we were discomfited," adds grandma. she is having a grilled cheese.
formula fourteen. el duplicado. locker. voilà
spittle chunks. lover is a
brand name and not a thing.
vaginal yeast
infection Quincy quips. yippee! get your skates.
excuse me, can i
change here? change here.
the senate tends
to lean. provisions.
tans on the lawn
in midmorn ceremonies dishonoring a
dead man's idears, making of them a model for poo-poo statuary. "we make memories". dont use the last of
the graham crackers. squeezing peanut butter from a sawhorse.
when the
president says, "posse" and a sweeping gesture.
and the wind
farm. and the severed cow.
senators approved
the transfer of technologies to kaw, a tiny town in oklahoma today. as the
vibratory rate increases, the various continuuii are merging. see the skies!
slower, the peoples of zincville and zoe dance in the sunshine with their
refrigerator doors flung wide open until they pass away. i make a simple tomato
sandwich with mayonnaise. varieties of fishes, too, say.
swimwear is a
touchy subject. now i can tell. now we all can tell. all can tell ad nauseum.
the vibratory rate is increasing.
then with a wet
noodle. in bed. with six-shooters drawn.
garth brooks slow
people tunes
your pistola
permit issued in the state of alabama will be recognized in idaho, indiana,
kentucky, and michigan. tennessee recognizes permits from arizona, kentucky and
arkansas, but not alabama. degrees of southerner determined by levels of
latitude? thickness of crust? breading? you can carry a weapon from arizona to
tennessee, but you likely will pass thru arkansas, which does not recognize the
permit, while in faraway alaska they generously would. foolishly would. would
pretend to. (you might at this point consider tunnelling around.)
car 36, car 36. this is 36, go ahead dispatch. is that you,
charlie? no. no, this is phil. i am thinking about a change of names. my wife
got me one of those books -- baby names. my
father was a pit boss. well, car 36, we have a 1224 in progress at the
intersection of south lamar and quality control. possible verb-subject
disagreement. see the man, 1964 quality. over.
hello on wheels.
hell-o big buttons! silver painted
boxes, what happened to. gross-out
recliner. theirs the kind of doggy drinks from the left-open commode.
theirs the canary sings loud sailors' songs. the kind of a cat marks the
backseat of a car, like teenagers with a six pack do the rock cliffs once
scenic.
a countryside of
not but impalas. pjs. glutteus minimus tennis sneakers. runway denim scares me.
someone must have touched my brain with a cotton swab.
leave the
prevaricator alone, honey. leave the leaves behind. leave the honey alone,
prevaricator. smarmy nobody! how you insense the whelpable. tear the tears from
her many faces in
the hall of mirrors, chewing gum in my hair, which I chew on anyway. dont get
smarmy with me!
hell on wheels.
hell on toast.
hell on top of
the world. beat me.
hell on parade.
being myself full
of wine, ... yes. being myself. and full of wine. being myself and being myself
and repeating myself and being full of wine. being this, i chose to extemporize
before the attention of one of the several bathing beauties between formal
contests lounging.
the others out of
earshot.
for my first part
i shall do emerson: "things are
flush with the wall, scaly, soap-scummed, depleated, gallionic, but, until they
whisper what she says to herself at the moment sleep envelops her smoothed
limbs and mannequin anima, they are not yet mass-marketable."
wait. wait.
swallow red wine. reswallow wine combined with bile. ali shariati, for your
aural pleasure, missss ... alama! a-la-mah. beautiful, yes indeed!
oh! oh, my! so
right! al-a-bama! better a sash than
a sandwich board, i suppose. altho, there is something to be said for mere
suggestion, you know, as opposed to the open-faced sandwich, metaphorically
speaking. that would make an excellent final round question, dont you think?
what's that? no, i dont have a light. you were eliminated this afternoon. so
... yes, to hear that.
anyway, ... may i
sit? sure there's room! where would we fall? in the pool! all the better, it's
so humid in here. florida, christ. i only eat oranges when i feel like i'm
coming down with something. did you hear what duchamp told his wife as she
descended the staircase? stop flailing your arms; i'm trying to paint! duchamp
died of elimination, did you know that? you did! really?
yes, when there's
that hint of a sore throat. yes, no, cant stand toast then. yes, interesting.
but i'm sure guys say that to you all the time! women, too. huh.
yes, well, i
guess i've never tried toast with a menthol, nah. your name is ...? oh, that's
right -- miss alabama. nice to make myself acquainted with you. ahhh, dainty
but firm! you must play foosball. business major? oh. i see. well, maybe he'll
fix you up in something you like.
no. no, i've used
an interior decorator. what's the external equivalent, anyway? a gardener. so
right. or a landscaping company. but these days, that could be any guy with a
battered pickup, a rake, and a friend who wears a baseball cap. gosh, i need to
pee. yes! you're right, the pool is right there.
what's that? oh,
right! the shariati. this is from hajj,
by the way, just in case you ever find yourself in a library. here goes:
"wear the
kafan which consists of christo's backfat. you will then be dressed just as everyone
on the burgeoning hillocks! form a picture of success in your mind; see the
riot squad appear. be a sport and pass the ball. like a lemondrop, put your
whole self into my mouth, as is your destiny!" whadda you think, gorgeous?
you are still gorgeous, arent you? i cant see. just the glowing ember of your
cigarette ... ouch!! egas moniz!
bitch!
in arkansas, a person is legally allowed to carry a
concealed weapon while on a journey, unless you're under 18 years of age. there
is no height requirement.
concealed babies.
the category is: things which can be slathered. the
tight-skinned potato. the upbeat. the crying goat. bent horn.
lay it on me
Mu-man: one should not discuss a debt before a sunflower. one should not dress
before a tax man. one should not save the highest hosannas for the time after
using rubber cement. one is the lonliest number. is a song i cannot stand.
when full of
wine. i cant stand.
hakkk-tuu! -Haynes.
'nuff said and my bad and better red than farmer tanned. planned
parenthood is a wise idea but random encounters with death are what make life
seem worth living. scooters racing tricyles. Russians humping a line of first
ladies.
poke your nose.
lift your lines.
just sit and
talk.
CELEBRITY PROFILE:
linda tripp is a
toilet face.
george
"jorge" washington i dont know.
i am not
presented live.
cindy crawford is hell on carpet. is velvet beerfroth. is
the internet burning a hole in your loins at any hour of the day. we must sleep
at night. douse the flames with colas. that's my gang, the colas. we do the
drive-by fizz-ups youve always feared would develop during a sporadic cola war.
my test came back
from the lab as positive -- it's the single positive reaction i've ever gotten.
we have wet
noodle and miss alabama who hobbles. also a carl, a karl d., a frieda who acts
as befuddled historian -- only knows what she's misread in books and has
hysterical pregnancies every time she finds herself standing in an active
antpile, walter the smidge who scares the girls and i extend my wings to
protect them, camomile, gash the yank, pyoderma kid, and a boy named fob who is
twenty-one but has managed to retain the very appealing baby fat around his
ears.
in a dozen baby
food food jars wrapped in wax freezer paper. once he tried to freeze his balls.
he plays goalie.
shalom, shalom, everybody! let me remind you that the carrot
of god thrusts itself deep into the robust mother earth, reaching with its
tendrils to satisfy of its needs.
a "good moral character": in particular, those
portraying doctors and other do-gooders, such as angels, on television or in
the movies. i'm in the movies, i'm in the shower.
was. was the plan to bury area 51 in trash or human
excrement? in the backs of our minds. tunnelling, with a gun in a plastic bag.
was the plan to
make jello biafra and sirhan sirhan cellmates? can we make former yugoslavians
like each other? by distributing coloring books?
was the plan to
get phyllis diller alone?
don rickles is a
stage name. the chicago bulls.
this is the land
of mesquite and broken bottles. i will foresee. bridges made from two-liter
cola bottles. weight limit: three louie andersens.
forget it, kids,
let's go home. poke holes in the walls. fish out the queen roach. teach her
tricks. (teach her tricks to our
tunneling soldiers. you will eat
your dinner and you will like it.)
patrons infest
diners. let's love a thousand pretty women and men who lean on mops while they
love thumbs and many kinds of pies.
let's cut the
synthetic fibers of our forefathers. photograph a hundred days of the pittsburg
skyline while we hold ghosts hostage in our minds. contests to puke the largest
lumps of most everything. when pie crumbs fly by themselves across the desk of
the executive....
administrator.
executive. professor. let's. yes let's.
do the:
intravenous
stasis!
maudlin
anticipator
coalesced
brazilian fabric farmer!
porto-potty
waiting line one-leg twist
scheduled
porcine nephrectomy!
loving
father
drowning
cabal!
reaching
child
mixed
vegetable!
flame
retardant fingerscrawl
the flimsy!
backseat
melted crayon
forever
special teams!
supernugget
undercharged
loveable
stickershock!
starving
koala in grandma's back yard.
if we feel like it.
tell me, granny, what's the difference? who invented fried
chicken? did he have a flag? it was a she? no wonder we've forgotten. you listened to duran duran? only in
passing. grandpa was a what?
got what we've
gotten.