Entry Into Heaven
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt,
leather
jacket,
and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses the man wearing somewhat sloppy clothes, "Who are
you,
so
that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Jack Thomas, Jr., taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver,
"Take
this
silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Then it's the
minister's turn. He stands up tall and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow,
pastor of
Saint Mary's Church, for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this
cotton robe
and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man before me was a
taxi-driver, and
he gets a silken robe and golden staff.
Why, How can this be?"
Saint Peter, looks to the preacher and says, "Up here, we work by
results,"
"While you preached, people slept. While Jack drove, people prayed."
And It Was So
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working
constantly from
dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass
and lack
intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much.
Please, give
me
no more than 20." And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over
the
dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will
eat
his
table scraps and live for 25 years."
And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is
too much.
Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall
swing
from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you
shall
live
for 20 years." And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as
the clown
of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10
years." And
it
was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational
being
that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery
over the
creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20
years."
And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too
little.
Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the
dog
refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30
years
like
a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to
have
children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the
leftovers
after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as
a
monkey,
acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren.
And it is so !!
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