By Sister Helen P. Morals
He was in the first third grade class I taught at
Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me,
but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had
that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness
delightful. Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and
again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed
me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him
for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know
what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing
it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark
talked once too often, and then made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at
Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth
shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking
again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch
Mark, but since I
had
stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to
act on it. I
remember
the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I
walked to my desk,
very deliberately opened by drawer and took out a roll of
masking tape.
Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk,
tore off two pieces
of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I
then returned to
the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he
was doing, he winked at me. That did it!! I started laughing. The class
cheered as I walked
back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my
shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister." At
the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math.
The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my
classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since
he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did
not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third. One Friday, things
just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, And I
sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves - and edgy
with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So
I asked them to
list
the names of the other students in the room on two
sheets of paper,
leaving
a space between each name. Then I told them to think
of the nicest
thing
they could say about each of their classmates and
write it down. It
took
the remainder of the class period to finish their
assignment, and as
the
students left the room, each one handed me the papers.
Charlie smiled.
Mark
said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good
weekend." That
Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a
separate sheet of
paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about
that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before
long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I
never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me
so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew
if they discussed
them
after class or with their parents, but it didn't
matter. The exercise
had
accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with
themselves and
one another again. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, after I returned from vacation,
my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me
the usual
questions
about the trip - the weather, my experiences in
general. There was a
lull in
the conversation. Mother gave Dad a side-ways glance
and simply says,
"Dad?"
My father cleared his throat as he usually did before
something
important.
"The Eklunds called last night," he began. "Really?" I
said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad
responded quietly.
"Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is
tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend."
To this day I can still point to the exact spot on
I-494 where Dad told me about Mark. I had never seen a serviceman in a
military coffin
before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I
could think at that
moment was, Mark. I would give all the masking tape in
the world if
only you
would talk to me. The church was packed with Mark's
friends. Chuck's
sister
sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it
have to rain on the
day
of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the
graveside. The pastor
said
the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by
one those who
loved
Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it
with holy water.
I was
the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there,
one of the
soldiers who
acted as pallbearer me up to me. "Were you Mark's
math teacher?" he
asked.
I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark
talked about you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates
headed to Chuck's
farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were
there, obviously
waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father
said, taking a
wallet
out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when He
was killed. We
thought
you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he
carefully removed two
worn
pieces of Notebook paper that had obviously been
taped, folded and
refolded
many times. I knew without looking that the papers
were the ones on
which I
had listed all the good things each of Mark's
classmates had said
about
him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother
said. "As you can
see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to
gather around us.
Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my
list. It's in the
top
drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said,
"Chuck asked me to
put
his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn
said. "It's in
my
diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into
her pocketbook,
took
out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list
to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without
batting an
eyelash. "I
think we all saved our lists."
That's when I finally
sat down and
cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would
never see him again.