It was about 7 a.m. on Monday, July 25, 1994, when I got up still half asleep and went into the bathroom. I thought I would go back to bed, so I quietly closed the door as I looked at Mike still fast asleep. However in a few seconds, I thought I heard Mike call my name. Then again I heard him say, "Joyce," and it sounded strange this time. I opened the door and ask him if he had called me. He replied, "I can't breath." I finally opened both eyes and looked at him. He was sitting part way up and leaning back against the headboard and he looked sort of pale. I said something like "what do you mean" and suddenly became very scared and asked, "Do you want me to call 911?" When he said yes, I knew something had to be terribly wrong because he would never have asked me to do that. I dialed 911 and got someone right away and said, "I am afraid my husband may be having a heart attack or something; send an ambulance." Mike suddenly started to panic and said, "Keep them on the phone, don't let them hang up." The person on the phone heard him, and said, "Tell him to calm down, he will make it worse," and told me to lower his head, and put his feet up on pillows. It seemed an eternity before I heard the siren in the background, and Mike kept asking, "Where are they?". As they pulled up, I started to go and unlock the front door, and Mike said, "Don't leave me." I told him I had to go and unlock the front door and ran down the hall, opened the door and led them to Mike.
I don't remember exactly how many men came in, but they started working right away. One gave him oxygen and another started getting the IV going in his arm. A man, who I found out later was the fire department captain, kept asking Mike to tell him his name and his age, etc. Suddenly someone said, "Let's get him on the stretcher," and as they did that, one of the other men started gathering up supplies. I ask him if he thought Mike was having a heart attack, and he said, "It's hard to say, but he seems to be doing much better with the oxygen. When they get him in the emergency room the doctor will examine him and order an EKG and other tests to find out what is going on."
My mind wandered back to just that Friday when Mike had gone to the doctor for a yearly physical. I did not go with him and when he got home he had a big grin on his face. He said, "I'm in pretty good shape for an old man. They did lots of tests and an EKG, and I ask for a stress test, but they had to schedule that for next week." I remember saying as I laughed, "If you are old, what does that make me?" because Mike was 54 and so was I, but I was 3 months older than he was. He always joked that I was his OLD LADY after I had my birthday in Dec. until his came up in March.
Suddenly I snapped back to my immediate suroundings and looked down and realized I still had on my summer pj's and said to the guy, "I'd better get dressed, so I can go with him." He said in California the law would not allow anyone to ride in the back of the ambulance except the attendant, so instead of riding up front with the driver, why didn't I just get dressed and come on to the hospital later. He told me it would take some time for them to run all the test and decide if they needed to admit him or send him home with me. So I went running out to the ambulance that was sitting in our drive way with the back doors still open, and yelled in to Mike, "I will be over shortly, as soon as I get dressed and get Minnie settled." The attendant in the back immediately closed the doors, and they took off down the road. The last man came out of the house and got into the fire truck, and it left following the ambulance.
I went back into the house and took a shower and got dressed and got our doggie, Minnie out of her sleeping area, and took the time to get her settled before I got in the car and left for the hospital. I was sure that it would be hours yet before they would be able to get all the test done and tell me anything.
I remember thinking as I backed the car out of my driveway that he more than likely had bad indigestion because we had eaten too much, and too late last night. It took about 10 minutes or longer to drive from my house to the hospital. Suddenly as I was almost there, I got this bad feeling, and thought maybe it had actually been a heart attack. But I immediately put that thought out of my mind, as I drove into the emergency room parking lot.
When I went up to the desk of the ER, no one was there at first and I stood and waited for a few minutes. Finally a girl came out and I told her my name and that I was the wife of the man they brought in by ambulance about an hour ago. She looked for the chart, and when she found it, she realized that they had his last name spelled wrong, and took the time to make this correction, and also ask me for the insurance card. After she made a copy of it, she ask me to have a seat and said someone would be with me shortly.
In a few minutes a nurse came out and said she was taking me to talk with the doctor. At this point I still did not GET IT, and I sort of looked around and wondered if Mike was behind one of the closed curtains, or if they had admitted him. The doctor came out and asked me what exactly had happened. I told him, and he started saying things like the ambulance crew and fire department had done all they could do. Suddenly it HIT ME and I said, "You are not trying to tell me my husband is dead!" He said "yes," and I don't remember seeing him at all after that. The nurse suddenly had her arms around me, and I was sobbing very loudly. I said I didn't even get a chance to tell him bye and she said we will go and do that now. She took me to one of the areas where the curtain was closed and opened it. There he was, covered with a sheet to his chest and one arm was laying across his chest and the other one at his side, as I had seen him when he slept at home so many times. But as I reached over and felt his face, I knew he was not just sleeping, because there was no warmth left in his body. I can't remember what happened after that, except that the nurse (who was a nun) took my hand and said a prayer, and I was touching Mike's arm and face and still weeping.
The nurse asked me about other relatives and I told her I had no one that lived there, and my sons were at work about 2 hours away. I remember her saying I needed to call someone to come be with me, and I finally gave her the name and phone number of Anna, a friend from work. I also gave the phone number of my brother Paul to someone, and later when he was on the phone, I told him Mike had died, and he said the doctor had just told him. He said he and his wife would be there as soon as they could get there, but they also lived about 1 1/2 hours away. Someone also called my son and his wife at work and told them what had happened, and a nurse told me that they were on their way. Anna came and sat with me in the room with Mike for what seemed hours. At one point I lost it completely and the nurse said she could not give me anything unless someone would be with me and make sure that I did not drive. Anna assured her she would stay with me until one of my relatives got there, so they gave me something to help calm me.
Krisz (my son's wife) got to the hospital about the same time that Mike was being taken away by the mortuary and took me home in her car. Suddenly my son Stephen was at the house also, kneeling at my side as I sat in my recliner and cried. Paul and his wife soon came, and Paul told me he had called mom and Brenda in TN and they would be there the next day.
The next few days were a big blur, but I remember being at the funeral home with Stephen, Paul, and Barry; and suddenly Brenda and mom were there. Krisz had gone to the airport to pick them up and brought them there. I asked them if they wanted to see Mike, and no one did. I had a problem understanding that at the time, but Brenda said she wanted to remember Mike as he was the last time she had seem him.
Mike and I had already decided we would be cremated when we died, and did not want to spend lots of money on a service at a chapel or church. That day after we got back home, people from the dog club started calling and coming over bringing food and wanting to know when the service would be. It wasn't until then that I got to know what a wonderful group of people they were. Mike and I had actually talked about not having a service, but I decided to have something in his memory at our home on Saturday.
I didn't know what to do at the service, but Barry said he would say a few words, read a scripture from the Bible and say a prayer. The night before the service I suddenly asked Brenda if she would sing a couple of the songs that Mike liked so well, one of them being a song that she had written. Mike had said one time that he never wanted a formal service, wanted people to eat, drink and be happy, however, he did say if any songs were sung, he would like them to be sung by Brenda. He use to listen to her tapes when we traveled in our RV.
The service went very well considering that it was very informal. Stephen, Paul and some of Mike's friends from work and the dog club said a few words about Mike. It was kept short, and afterwards everyone was invited to go into the kitchen and eat. There was so much food there, brought by all the people that attended the service. I remember thinking that this would be exactly the thing Mike would have enjoyed himself.
Mike and I would of been married 15 years that Sept. 1st., and they were the most wonderful years of my entire life. He and I had some great times together and had just started planning so many things to do now that he had retired early. One of my regrets to this day, is that Mike worked so hard, and we saved and planned so much for the future, so that when he retired our life would be comfortable, and yet Mike did not live long enough to enjoy his retirement at all, and never did get to take our motor home to Alaska.
Michael Karl Mallul was born in Detroit, Michigan, on March 17, 1940. He lived there until he went into the army then moved to California. He died in Apple Valley, California, on July 25, 1994. He was a big man with a heart just as big, and I am sure he is now with the angels.
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