August 11, 1960
September 07, 2003
Sweet Sister of Mine
It
hurts so much I can hardly breath
I
look at you, but I cannot believe
Your
gone sweet sister of mine
To
never see your smiling face
Or
hear your sweet laughter
Sorrow
has taken its place
Will
she go softly in the night I pray?
No
this was not to be the way
Angels
came down to where she lay
No
silent whisper, no fevered prayer
No
kiss on the check, no last goodbyes
You
were alone my sister I was not there
Your
body has failed you, and my spirit has mine
How
could this have happened to you
Oh
sweet sister of mine
Forgiveness
will be hard, I've let you down I know
We
were once children laughing and playing together
There
is only sadness now where love
did grow
You
were younger than me and so this is not right
How
can it be that the angels did come
To
take you away in the middle of the night
To
be forever young in our hearts and minds
What
a strange place to leave you in time
Please
forgive me oh sister of mine
I
will honor you as only a sister may
And
in the stillness of night I will pray
Oh
sweet sister of mine
It
wasn't supposed to happen like this
Without
you my life will never be the same
I
cry softly at night and whisper you name
September 07, 2003
Written
for my sister Brenda, the day she died.
Please
do not copy.
Brenda
was my younger sister. She was very beautiful. She had a heart of gold. When
we were kids, Brenda was always the one who took care of all the babies at
family gatherings. Brenda had a very hard life growing up. Our mother
was an alcoholic, and she was also very abusive to the kids. Tania and
Brenda always seemed to suffer the brunt of mom's abuse. Brenda's health was
always trouble some even when she was a teenager. In the past few years
Brenda had been diagnosed with Multiples Sclerosis. She had many
complications from her MS. She had been wheelchair bound for a time, and lost
her sight for awhile. Her spirit never seemed to fail her though.
Brenda was a fighter, I guess this was simply one fight she was not up to.
She
died so suddenly that we are all in shock. I had just spoken to her the week
before by telephone, and she was her usual talkative self. At 5:15 on
the morning of September 07, 2003, I received a call from the hospital.
I didn't even know that Brenda was in the hospital. They were trying to
reach me, thinking that I was friend of Brenda's. Apparently finding my
name in her address book. The nurse asked me if I was alone. I
told her I was, and asked her what was wrong with my sister. She wouldn't tell
me, even though by then in my heart I knew that she had passed away.
They put me on hold for the Doctor to come on the line and talk to me, and as
the seconds passed, it seemed like hours. How do you tell someone their
sister has died? The Doctor was kind and said they had tried in vain,
her heart had stopped and they couldn't get it started again. He said he
didn't think she had felt any pain, but can he be sure? The pain has
lingered and now we all feel it.
I
had to tell my sister Tania, I simply couldn't tell her by phone so my
daughter took me to tell her in person. We had all scattered after
my mom died. When I left St. Louis, Missouri to live in North
Carolina it became harder to keep up with where all my sisters where. Tania
moved down here two years ago so that we could be closer together. I had to
call my baby sister LaRay and tell her. She and Brenda had been very
close in their teens so it was a tremendous shock. to her. Tania contacted our
brother Joey who has been in a hospital for many years due to Schizophrenia.
Brenda had recently reunited with her daughter LaKeesha LaRay , but I didn't
know how to find her. Finally after a day and a half I found her through her
Dad. This young girl then had to see to it that her younger sister
Stormy's adoptive family was told, the decision to tell Stormy of her birth
moms passing will be up to them. Because she is so young I can understand if
they chose not to tell her now, but I do hope that they tell her in the
future. Now with all my duties complete, what do I do now?
Everyone
says that it will get better. I guess they are right, and I know they mean
well. Although it doesn't help me any in the lonely hours between darkness and
dawn. How do I get past where I am right now? How does life just simply
pick up and start again? How do I get past the what ifs and the if only.
I am frozen in place, and time seemly is stuck in this sad place. I know
I must move on a little each day, but right now for today I can't. Maybe
tomorrow........Maybe tomorrow.
Brenda
is survived by her daughters LaKeesha LaRay, and Stormy, her brother
Joey, and sisters Joann. Tania, and LaRay.
Because
Brenda had Multiple Sclerosis I am including a few links with information on
this disease.
MS
Society
MSActiveSource
Multiple
Sclerosis News
National
Multiple Sclerosis
Multiple
Sclerosis Foundation
Multiple
Sclerosis Association of America
Multiple
Sclerosis International Federation
Multiple
Sclerosis Online Information and Support
This page created on September 14, 2003. The Verses, photo,
and graphics were made by me to honor my sister Brenda. Please do not take
anything from this page. All content on this page is copy written and the
graphics are water marked.
This page was created on 09/22/03 05:30:53 AM
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