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1. Curiosity - As captain of a bomb disposal squad, it's his duty to investigate grocery bags, vases, the kitchen cabinets and closets.
2. Cleanliness- Tabby's a brain surgeon in scrub and she'll be operating-room sterile if she wears out two tongues and a paw.
3. Balance - There's a gyroscope between his ears. Must have been the dog who fell off the mantel.
4. Lunch - It may look like Little Friskies to you, but to Tige that's live game he's stalking in that red plastic bowl.
5. Hunting - He's a fluff-ball disguised as a heat seeking missile.
6. Romantic Love - Over 10 decibels produces 12 homely kittens.
7. Horticulture - Green-paw techniques - Cutting Back and Pruning
8. Brotherhood - Same claw action as for Furniture Redesign.
9. Self-Assertion - You haven't been paying enough attention to him lately.
10. Water Sports - The label on her tummy reads:Dry Clean Only.
11. Ambition - None needed, provided human goals include caviar-flavored catfood.
12. Comfort - On TV, if tail obscures show, your lap, if your allergic, the stove, if cat hairs in your food make you queasy.
13. Poetry Appreciation - Cats best appreciate literature by lying on it.