by Miss J

[watashi]

+++

“Guys…sorry for taking so long…I bring him along with me!!”

“Geezz…Kaoru, it’s about time!!”

The band leader looked around the studio, noticing only two men in there, a sleeping vocalist, and a bassist..

“Where’s Die??”

The bassist answered annoyingly “Out for a smoke, I think?!”

“Well…Shinya come on in then, go introduce yourself nee!!”

A boy with his school uniform appeared, “Anoo…Terachi Shinya desu…yoroshiku!” He looked a bit scared meeting his new band mates.

“Aahhh….you’re our new drummer then?? I’m Kisaki the bassist, and the sleeping beast over there is our vocalist Kyo!!” the man said.

“Heeey…I’m NOT a beast!!” said the sleeping man, and then he continued to sleep.

Shinya grinned, he always wanted to join a band, and his band mates seemed nice…

“Who’s this kid??” someone asked behind him. He turned around to meet face to face with a red headed guy who looked a bit annoyed.

“Be nice Die…this is our new drummer, Shinya!” said Kaoru.

Shinya bowed to the man he just met, “Nice to meet….” Die just walked passing by like nothing ever happened. Shinya was a bit disappointed, but he would try his best to make friends with all of his new band mates.

“Ignored him…he’s a little bit annoying sometimes!” Kisaki whispered, “Let’s see what you can do nee…Shinya-san!!” he continued smiling.

Shinya headed to the drum set in the corner of the room, feeling a little bit nervous at first. He took his drumsticks from his bag, and get ready to perform his best.

He sit there for a moment, and then started playing. His drumming was strong, the sound was excellent, so perfect. When he finished his play, he was greeted with three men clapping their hands. He blushed.

“Well…welcome to La Sadies Terachi Shinya!!” said a happy vocalist who suddenly hugging the pour drummer.

He looked at the other men who also greet him happily. But, one man seemed not so happy. He looked straight at Shinya, making the frail boy a little bit scared.

“Doesn’t make a different, he’s still a kid anyway! Right kiddo??” Die said.

“Nee…don’t hear anything he said Shinya-san…we’ll make it BIG!!” said Kaoru.

Shinya nodded.

+++

Everything was fine, nothing seemed to be wrong. Until Die started teasing him. He found that Shinya was an easy target.

Shinya just ignored him at first, he didn’t want to make it a problem.

But it’s getting worse when Die started beating him. It happened when they were left alone in the studio, or when he found Shinya just alone by himself. That kid was a very easy target for him, and he loved it.

Shinya didn’t know what he’d done wrong to Die. But Die just keep on doing that to him.

One time he tried to ask Die what’s his problem, but only ended up worse.

“Just shut up!! DON’T ask anything!! GOT IT??”

Shinya cried softly, he felt so weak.

The next day Shinya entered the studio, feeling miserable. His entire body was sour from the beating Die did the other day. All he could do is stay calm, he didn’t want his other friends know about it. He always answered the same answer when someone asked him what’s going on. Every time he talked to someone, Die was watching over him from afar.

It was getting worse everyday.

“Shinyaa…you looked so…tired lately…”

“Uh…I kinda work hard at school…studying…” he said over and over again. The one who asked him didn’t notice the pain reflected in his eyes.

Sometimes when he was left all alone, he cried and cried. He didn’t do anything wrong…but still, Die kept on doing that to him.

+++

The practice was over, they finally could perform in a live house.

Shinya was left alone again, he tried not to cry, he should be happy about the live, but he still couldn’t forget about Die.

He heard someone was entering the room…

“Shinya, aren’t you gonna head home? You have school tomorrow, and it’s getting late. Want me to company you home?” Kisaki told him.

Panicked, Shinya refused his kindness.

“Nee…Shinya, what’s going on?” he saw the tears, he tried to hold Shinya, but he touched the spot where the bruise was bad.

Surprised seeing Shinya winced in pain, “Shi…nya”

Shinya grabbed his bag and ran. Leaving a very confused Kisaki.

When he reached out, it was raining heavily. He couldn’t see clearly, until he bumped into someone.

“Aaa…Sumimasen!” trying his best to look at the other person.

A hand grabbed his shoulder, he could see a blurry image of someone. He was pulled into a tight and painfully embraces.

“Nee..Shin-chan, I saw you talking to him…”

It was Die! Shinya shivered.

“I…I didn’t tell him anything…”

SLAP!!

“You talked to him!!!” Die was slapping him again. Kicking him hard. And he pulled him again.

Shinya cried hard, the pain was all coming back again. He felt reckless. Blood was flowing from his bruised lips. Die leaned closer to lick, “I’m sorry Shin-chan but there’s nothing you can do now!”

Feeling Die loosen up his hold, Shinya took this change to ran away. He collected all his power to run, faraway from Die.

He keep on running through the rain, heading nowhere. His tears was mixing with the rain. His head was spinning around. His breath was getting heavy.

+++

“Moshi-moshi, Kaoru desu!” Kaoru answered his cell phone. “What??” “Oh…okkay…” “Thank you for informing us Mrs. Terachi!” “Yes, we’ll visit him!” “bye…”

“What’s with the worried face Kaoru?” Kyo asked entering the studio.

“Call Kisaki and Die! Today’s practice is cancelled! Shinya is in hospital now!!” He wrote something in a piece of paper “Here’s the hospital and the room number, call me!!” and then he left.

+++

When Kaoru reached the hospital, Kisaki was already there. Accompanying Shinya’s mother.

“What’s the matter??” he asked.

Mrs. Terachi wanted to answered it, but Kisaki told her to let he explain.

“His mother found him collapsed last night in the front door of his house. The doctor told us, that Shinya stayed to long in the rain, so that he has his bronchitis getting worse, and a very high fever.”

“What??”

“And one more thing…” Kisaki added. “His body was all injured, it’s like he was being attacked or something by someone!”

Kaoru was speechless. How could that happen??

“Who did it?” he asked quietly.

“We didn’t know for sure…but, I guess I know who might..”

Kaoru grabbed Kisaki’s collar “Who??”

“Not now…you don’t want to know it right now!! Stay calm Kaoru!!” with that Kaoru too a sit next to Mrs. Terachi.

“Now, you wait here and help Mrs. Terachi nee!!”

“Where are you going? Hey…don’t forget to tell Die about this!!”

Kisaki didn’t reply that one. He was going to talk about something serious to someone.

+++

Die was sitting on the floor. The studio was empty, he couldn’t find anyone in there. He took his cigarette from his pocket, he smoked it. Ignoring the big no smoking sign above his head.

“Hey…we don’t smoke here!!” someone took the cigarette, and crashed it to the ashtray.

Die looked up lazily. “Oh..hi Kisaki! Where’s everyone??”

“In the hospital”

“Who’s sick?”

“You don’t know??” Kisaki asked sarcastically “It’s Shinya”

“What’s with him?”

“He has a bronchitis and a bad fever!”

“Ooh…he’s a strong …he’ll get well soon”

Die was replied with a punch on his face.

“Could you please show a little respect here!! Our band-mate is sick…and you…”

Die made a face “I what?”

“He’s not just sick, his entire body was injured!!”

“So what? Doesn’t have anything to do with me?” with that another punch landed on Die’s face.

“I know it was you!! You did it, didn’t you!! You beat the hell of that kid, and leaving him alone in the goddamn rain!! Don’t you!???”

Die wiped the blood from his lips, smiling.

“Ahaa…you’re falling for that kid, right??”

That words leaving Kisaki speechless, so Die took this opportunity to walked away. Deciding to go to a bar for a drink.

+++

Shinya was walking hand in hand with Die, they went out for a dinner together. Celebrating Shinya’s graduation.

“Congratulation Shinya!!” a very cheerful Die talked to him.

Shinya felt a little bit shy, his cheek showed a shade of pink, “Arigato Die-kun!!”

“Now…eat, enjoy the food here!! It’s all my treat nee!!” Die winked.

Shinya felt so happy, Die was treating him nicely. They ate their food together, like nothing ever happened before.

Suddenly it all turned pitch black, he couldn’t see anything…he tried to scream, but his voice just couldn’t come out.

“Dieee!!!”

He woke up. Panting heavily. He noticed he was in a white room.

“Kyo, called the nurse or doctor!! He’s awake!!”

Kyo ran out the room, closing the door behind him.

A hand reached out Shinya’s face. Shinya was a bit terrified. He closed his eyes again.

“Shinya…” someone called him, “It’s me…Kisaki!!”

Slowly opening his eyes, he didn’t say anything. Kisaki hugged him. “Die…”

Hearing that name Kisaki loosen his hold on Shinya, a bit disappointed “He’s not here Shinya!! He…has no right to be here!!”

The frail boy stared at him.

“Gosh Shinya, he’s the one doing all this to you!!”

Shinya hugged his knees. Feeling his entire body hurt, he began to cry…

“Shinya…you should’ve told us about everything he did to you!!” Kisaki held Shinya’s shoulder “Do you…want to sue him??” he added softly.

Shinya shook his head violently.

“Why…are you afraid of him??” he asked. “Because if you are, you still have us, me Kaoru and Kyo to help you!!”

“No…” Shinya spoke. “No…don’t do anything to him” He was crying again.

Kisaki was surprised with Shinya’s words.

“I….love him!”

+++

Die stared at the building in front of him. He felt a bit guilty, but the devils inside of him told him not to. So he just walked casually to the hospital. Asking where Shinya’s room is, and went there.

The door was ajar, he could hear Kisaki’s voice from inside. He opened it, only to be greeted by an angry Kisaki and a sobbing Shinya.

“What do you think you’re doing in here??” Kisaki rushed to him, and grabbed him on his shirt.

“What??? Can’t I visit him??” Die answered pointing at Shinya.

Kisaki had had enough, he was trying his best not to kill the red head in front of him. He pulled Die outside, heading to the roof.

“You asshole!!!” he pushed Die to the ground.

“WHAT??” Die replied angrily.

“I can’t believe this, you still have the urge to see him???”

Die stared at him threateningly, “So what??”

Kisaki punched him hard. Blood was flowing from his nose. He wiped it, grinning. “You really fall for that boy don’t you??”

“I just wish I could make Shinya sue you and put you in jail for abusing him!!! He was almost die!!”

“So…why didn’t you??” Die asked.

“He won’t do it!!”

Die laughed.

Kisaki landed another punch on Die’s face, “What have you done?? What did you do to him?? How could you make him….” He didn’t continue his sentence, “After all you’ve done…”

Die looked up to him “What…I made him what??”

“He…he…FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!” Kisaki yelled.

Kisaki left Die standing there. Stunned.

+++

Shinya was already sleeping when Kisaki returned to his room. He stood next to the bed.

//”Why…how…”

“I don’t know Kisaki, it just came like that…I don’t care if he’s beating me to death, it already happened, I…”

“No…please don’t say that again Shinya!!” He felt sick suddenly.

I was getting even better when Die showed up.//

He kissed Shinya’s forehead. Stroking his hair, it felt so soft running through his fingers.

“I’m too late then??” he whispered softly. Desperately he walked out, closing the door.

Not long after Kisaki closed the door, somebody entered the room. He walked carefully to the bed, trying not wake the sleeping figure. He looked at Shinya, his lips were bruised. He saw the wounds on Shinya’s neck.

Shinya opened his eyes, sensing someone was standing there.

Seeing Die looked straight at him, he was terrified. Die noticed this, he inched closer to Shinya.

“What…do you want now??” Shinya asked, looking downwards. His heart was beating fast. He could feel Die’s soft breath on his cheek.

He closed his eyes, avoiding eye contact with Die.

He just waited for anything to happen, but nothing came.

“Are you insane Shin-chan??” Die asked. “Damn…why all of the sudden I feel guilty??” he cursed. “I…wanna ask you, why…”

Shinya looked at him, “You want to know…why I love you??”

Die nodded, “I almost killed you man!! I played my hard games to you!! I beat the hell out of you!! But…”

Shinya ignored all the pain in his body, he closed his distance between them. He gave Die a hug.

“Answer me damn it!!” Die violently said.

“I don’t know…Die.” Shinya shook his head. Still hugging Die in his arms.

Die hugged him back, suddenly crying.

“I don’t care about that Die. You can kill me if you want, but you can’t kill my feelings for you.” Shinya spoke softly. “Can you…love me back??” tighten his hug.

Die soften up, “I’m sorry…”

Noticing the wetness in Die’s cheek, “No…no…don’t be sorry!!” he wiped the tear that dropped. “I don’t except you to…love a kid like me!!” he laughed bitterly. “It’s right what you always said to me, I’m nothing but a little kid who haven’t grown up yet!”

“I should go out from the band, so you’ll be happier!!” he added again.

“Shinya…” Die looked at him. “What I did was wrong!! Please…forgive me!!” He pleased. “I beg you!!”

Shinya gave him an angelic smile, Die just hug him, as softly as he could so he won’t hurt him. “I’m sorry!!”

+++

Weeks passed by, Shinya was allowed to go play drums again.

“Mina…” he announced to everyone, “I want you to forgive Die!! For me, onegai!!” he bowed in front of everyone.

Die had been quiet, the guilt was still haunting him.

“I would like to make anything getting worse, maybe the reason he did it because he didn’t want me in this band…so maybe it’ll be better for me to leave this band!”

The decision made everyone surprise. Kaoru tried to say something, but it seemed stuck in his throat. Kisaki wanted to stopped him, but Shinya was already leaving. He looked at Die, finding he was missing too.

Shinya heard somebody was calling his name, but he didn’t stop his tracks.

He stooped until a hand made him stop walking. He turned around, “Die??”

“Shinya…don’t go!! Don’t leave me…us hanging like this!!” Die said panting. “We need you…and to think about it…I need you!!”

He looked into Die’s eyes, no harm was in it. He saw another part of him.

“I know I did wrong to you, but…I realised, I did it because…I was jealous at you!! You have a great family, you have a wonderful youth time! You have everything that I don’t!!!” He began to cry, “And now…” without saying anything more, Die leaned closer kissing Shinya’s lips. “Do still want to accept…me??” he asked shyly.

“With all my heart Die!!” Shinya hugged him.

+++THE END+++

No comments from me…

But I DO hope some comments from YOU!! *points at the reader*

13 December 2001 // 22:04

Miss J

j_rocker@as-if.com

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