Days had gone by and no words were exchanged between AJ and Chrissy, he’d go and pick up the phone to call her and then a wave of guilt would come crashing down around him.  He'd quickly slam the phone down and leave the house.  He couldn’t  be near a phone, when he came home he would anxiously check the answering machine to see if possibly Chrissy had left a message, but like always, random messages from everyone but her.  He was beginning to hate being home altogether.

     Chrissy sat on her couch and dialed in AJ’s number for what seemed like the millionth time.  She listened to it ring, as she did everytime she called, and then if he picked up or the machine picked up, she hung up quickly.  She half-heartedly hoped he would  *69 the call, but he never did.  She sat on the couch and thought of a reason not to call AJ, and for the life of her, she couldn’t, once again Chrissy punched in his numbers, she knew he wasn’t home, so she thought she’d leave him a message.  Her heart pounded as she listened to the rings on the other end of the line.  Her mouth started going dry and her heart started pounding.  She heard his machine pick up.

     “Hey, whaddup? This is AJ, sorry ya missed me.  Leave a message and I'll get back to you later...” said the machine.  Chrissy took a breath as she heard the machine beep.  She sat there for a moment and realized the beep was her cue to leave her message, so she took a sharp breath and opened her mouth.

     “Hey, Alex, it’s me Chris.  Gimme a call sometime, talktoyoulaterbye.”  She slammed down the phone and quickly got up off the couch.  She feared he might actually be home, so she ran and got her coat and walked out of her apartment quickly.

         AJ walked up and down the mall aimlessly.  He would dart into stores every so often, but nothing really held any interest for him.  He just knew he couldn’t be at home waiting for a phone call that was never going to happen.  AJ spotted Sam Goody and went in there and began rifling through cd’s.   He stood in the R&B section and looked for just about anything that would grab his interest.  He rifled through the likes of Sisqo and Joe but found nothing that was pleasing to him.  He sighed lightly and moved to the hard rock section.  He flipped through Rage Against The Machine and Kid Rock, yet again nothing was appealing.  AJ decided to leave the store and walked down to the bookstore.

     Chrissy entered the mall through the food court, as she always did.  She wasn’t hungry, so she quickly made her way through the hoards of people that always gathered there on Friday afternoons.  Chrissy’s first stop, as always, was Sam Goody.  She walked in and did what she always did, walked to the back of the store and looked at posters.  She flipped through the half-naked women and the posters of Teletubbies.  She sighed and decided she’d look through some cd’s.  She walked to the pop section.  This type of music was her guilty pleasure and even though she got a lot of crap for liking it, she didn’t mind because it was her own thing.  Chrissy looked through Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears,  and through all of the groups that crooned “Baby I love you, come back to me,” but nothing appealed to her for some reason.  She gave a slight shrug and made her way out of the store and decided to go to the next store she always went to, the bookstore.

 Chrissy pretended to be reading an article on the upcoming presidential election, but really she was waiting for AJ to make a move.  When Chrissy had walked into the bookstore, she had seen him perusing through the books near the magazine stand, so she thought she’d wait by the magazines just to see if he’d notice her.  Chrissy waited patiently for him to finish looking at the books, and when she saw him start walking in her direction, she got nervous.  Chrissy grabbed the first magazine on the shelf that she saw.  She didn’t really care about the election all that much anyway.  Please just come over here and talk to me, her mind pleaded.  She looked up from her magazine and saw AJ staring directly at her and raised her eyebrow as if to say “Hey”.  Chrissy watched as AJ sauntered his way over to her and she smiled shyly at him.

     “Hi,” she said.  Her voice was almost in a whisper.  AJ smiled at her.  Chrissy looked down at the books in AJ’s hands.

    “Whatcha got there?”  AJ shrugged and showed her his book of Langston Hughes.

    “He’s my favorite,” he said.  Chrissy nodded and smiled.

     “I know.  You told me,” she said.  AJ smiled a little.  Chrissy looked down to see what else he was holding in his hand.

     “What else do you have?” she asked.  AJ looked down and said,

     “Oh yeah.  I found this,” he said as he showed her the book, her eyes clouding  over a little.

     “Wow,” she said.  She looked up at AJ.  “This was my favorite book when I was 17,” she said.  AJ smiled and nodded.

     “Yeah, I know.  You told me,” he said.  Chrissy smiled a little.  AJ looked around the store and then he heard his stomach rumble.  Chrissy heard it too and started to laugh.

     “Ya wanna get somethin’ to eat?” AJ said.  Chrissy nodded and walked with him to the checkout counter and waited for AJ to buy his books.  They both walked off together towards the food court.
 

     They had separated to get their own food and met in the middle of the court and sat down.  AJ and Chrissy ate in silence practically, but they each caught little glances in each other’s direction the entire time.  Once Chrissy caught AJ staring at her and she giggled a little.  AJ finished his burger and waited for Chrissy to finish her pizza.

     “Okay, can we talk now?” he said.  She nodded her head.  “I know what I did was wrong Chrissy.  I do.  I haven’t been right since I left your apartment that day.  I know sorry doesn’t cover it, but I really am sorry.”  Chrissy stared at AJ long after he had finished speaking.  She sighed.

     “I’m glad you’re sorry.  I was beginning to think you only wanted one thing from me,” she said.  AJ interrupted her.

     “Chrissy, why would you think that?”  Chrissy gave AJ a weird look.  He nodded and gave a sly smile.  “Okay, well, there was that whole thing of me leaving.”  Chrissy nodded.

     “I didn’t know what to think while it was happening.  But, I was hoping you woulda stayed around for us to talk about it, ya know?  When you left, I just chalked it up to me doing something stupid again.  You aren’t the first guy to do me and then leave me, ya know?”  AJ could feel his heart drop.  Chrissy looked at AJ’s blank expression and began to drum her fingers rapidly on the table.  AJ grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.

     “I’m not like that,” he said as he nodded.

     “That’s what I thought.” Chrissy sighed.

     “Listen, you have every right to think I’m the biggest asshole on this planet.  When I woke up that morning, I had no intention of doing what I did.  But, something just hit me and I freaked out.  It had nothing to do with you Chrissy,” he said.

     “What freaked you out?” she asked.  AJ looked at the people eating next to them and then looked back at Chrissy.  At that moment, she took his breath away.  She was running her hands through her hair and it was so long and curly.  Her eyes seemed to be a beautiful emerald color and her pale skin seemed a rosier color than natural.  He stared at her for a second and then shook himself out of his thoughts.

     “What?” he said.

     “What freaked you out that morning?”

     “Oh, it was nothing.  I just got paranoid, or something.  But, Chrissy, really, it had nothing to do with you.  I promise.”  Chrissy gave AJ a strange look.

     “Funny, when you ran out of my house, I got the distinct impression it was because of me?  Guess that’s just me bein’ crazy, huh?”  Chrissy rolled her eyes at AJ and was about to stand up when he grabbed her the wrist.

     “Please, don’t leave yet,” he pleaded.  He looked into her eyes and Chrissy felt her heart jump.  She sat back down quietly.  AJ looked around the mall and noticed the food court was getting filled up pretty quickly.  He knew the mall was not the place to have a discussion like they were having and he wanted to get out of there.

     “Look, we can’t talk about this here.  You wanna go talk somewhere else?”  Chrissy nodded yes and they both got up and dumped their trash in the cans and walked outside.  They were in the parking lot when Chrissy stopped in her tracks.  AJ turned around and stared at her.

     “What?” he said.  She gave him a funny look.

     “We both drove here.  Should I follow you?”  AJ smiled and grabbed her by the hand.

     “Nah, I’ll drive,” he said.  They held hands until they reached AJ’s Expedition.  They both walked to the passenger’s side door and he opened the door for her.  Chrissy turned around and gave AJ a smile and he returned it.  She hopped in the car and he closed the door.  He was walking to the other side when he took a sigh and thought Please, don’t let me fuck this up.  AJ opened his door and got in, he started the car and they left the parking lot, together.

         Chrissy sat on AJ’s couch as she waited for him to get her a Dr. Pepper from his refrigerator.  He came back and she thanked him as he sat down on his couch.  She took a sip and there was a silence.  AJ pulled out a cigarette and handed it to her, pulling out another one for himself.  He lit both of them and they sat quietly for a few minutes, until he had finished his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray.  He stole a quick glance at Chrissy who was staring outside the window.

    “Whatcha lookin’ at?” he asked.  She turned around to look at him.

     “Just looking.”  He nodded.

     “I guess we should talk, huh?”  Chrissy nodded and put out her cigarette.

     “Where should we start?” he asked.

     “I don’t know,” Chrissy shrugged.  They stared at each other.  Their hearts were beating wildly and their minds were racing with a thousand thoughts.  AJ licked his lips and twiddled his thumbs.  Chrissy bit the inside of her cheek as she waited for him to break the ice.  AJ scooted a little closer to her, and she in return got a little closer to him.  Chrissy smiled at him moving  a little closer,  then, even closer.  They were inches away from each other and AJ was about to say something, when Chrissy interrupted him with a kiss.  AJ was taken off-guard, but he didn’t stop her.  Their lips pressed together hard, but neither of them backed away for a few seconds.  Suddenly, AJ pulled away and practically jumped up off the couch.

     “What was that?” he asked surprised.

     “Whaddya mean?” Chrissy was baffled by his reaction.

     “Why’d you kiss me?”

     “Cuz, I uhh, wanted to?”  AJ began picking at his thumb and turned away from her, walking into the kitchen.  Chrissy sat on the couch dumbfounded.  She got up and followed him.

     “Did I do something wrong?” she asked, her voice full of hurt and concern.  AJ turned around and looked at her, he walked up to her, placing a hand on her cheek and pulling her in for a hug.  Then, he pulled back.

     “No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said as he walked back into the living room.  Chrissy shook her head and walked into the living room.

     “Okay, if I didn’t do anything wrong, why are you reacting like this to me?”

     “Look, that’s just not how this is supposed to be.  This isn’t supposed to be so easy Chrissy.  You’re pissed off at me!  Don’t kiss me!” AJ said.

     “I’m really confused now Alex,” she said.

     “We definitely have to talk Chrissy.  We can’t get to the making up stuff before we’ve even gotten to the part about you being pissed off at me.”

     “I just thought that’s what you wanted,” Chrissy said as her voice shook.  AJ shook his head and walked over to where Chrissy was standing.  He took his hands in hers and raised her chin so she would look him in the eye.

     “Why would you think that’s what I wanted?”  Chrissy just nodded her head and looked down at the floor.  “Chris, what I wanna do is talk.  Don’t get me wrong, I like kissing you.  But, we have to get this shit ironed out before we can even think about doin’ that other stuff,” he said sweetly.  He kissed her forehead and pulled her towards the couch.

     “It’s just that, that’s how I’ve always been told to fix things.  Make them forget it happened.  Just do my “girl thing” and it’ll be over with,” Chrissy said.

     “Uhh, I don’t quite get that logic Christina,” he said, furrowing his brow.

     “That’s what my brother’s always told me.  Give them what they want.  I thought you wanted me,” she said as she looked down at her feet and AJ’s blood red carpet.

     “Give who what?” he asked.  AJ wasn’t following Chrissy’s logic.

     “I lived with four brothers Alex.  Give guys what they want, that’s what I was always told.”  AJ shook his head.

     “Baby, did you wanna kiss me?  Did you think kissing me would make you feel better about me leaving?”  Chrissy shrugged.  “Whatever they told you Chris, with all do respect, was wrong.  You didn’t know what I wanted to do, so how could you have given me what I wanted?”  Chrissy shrugged again.

     “Look, Alex, let’s just drop it.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you or anything.  I just felt like it was a good time to kiss you, I felt like kissing you.” she said.  Chrissy got up off the couch and walked over to the window.  AJ got up and stood behind her.  He placed his hands on her shoulders, sighing.

     “Does this mean you forgive me?” he asked.  Chrissy turned around and slugged him the stomach playfully.

     “Very funny Alex,” she said.  They laughed for a minute and then AJ became serious.

     “I’m really sorry Chrissy.  It won’t happen again,” he pleaded.  Chrissy smiled at him and wrapped her arms around AJ’s waist.

     “I know,” she said as she looked into his eyes.  AJ wrapped his tattooed arms around Chrissy.  They hugged for a minute.

     “Alex?”

     “Yeah?”

     “Why’d you freak out? If it wasn't about me, what was it about?” Chrissy asked.

     “Yeah, we have a lot to talk about,” he sighed.

Lyrics Taken From:
"It's True" Backstreet Boys
Written by Max Martin, Andreas Carlsson, Kevin Richardson
copyright 2000  Jive Records