“So, she hurt you,” Chrissy sighed.  AJ sat back on the couch and chuckled a little.

    “Hurt is small in comparison.  She definitely changed me forever,” he said as he stared at nothing in particular.  Chrissy looked out the window and both of them sat in silence for a while.  Finally, Chrissy broke the silence.

    “Did you think she was the one?”

    “Yep.”

    “Do you still love her?”  Chrissy’s stomach did a flip as she asked that question.  AJ sat up and looked at Chrissy for a second.  He sighed.

    “I’ll always love her,” he said.  Chrissy looked down at her shoes.

    “Oh,” she said quietly.  Suddenly, Chrissy looked back up at AJ with a look of wonderment on her face.

    “If she hurt you so badly, why do you still love her?  Why does she deserve your love?”  AJ listened to her and swallowed hard.  He shook his head.

    “She had my heart from the moment I met her Chris, I just can’t forget her that easily,” he shrugged.  Chrissy shook her head and stared directly into AJ’s eyes.

    “That’s the most fucked up excuse I’ve ever heard.  She ripped your heart out, threw it on the ground and did the fucking cha-cha all over it.  You still love her AJ?  You love someone who could do that to you?”  Chrissy never took her eyes off of AJ as she said that.  AJ swallowed again.

    “You don’t understand,” he said.

    “What don’t I understand? From what you told me, you loved her, she made you feel inadequate and told you couldn’t do things that you’d always dreamed of doing.  Then, when she was bored with you, she left you.  Anything else?”  Chrissy stopped looking at AJ and stared back outside the window.  AJ looked at her looking at the outside world and wished he hadn’t said what he had just said.

    “She was my first love,” he said weakly.  Chrissy turned around and smirked at him.

    “You? Mr. Playboy? That was your first love?  Please.  As if I’m supposed to believe that?”  Her words shot through AJ like bullets.  He got up off the couch.

    “Fuck you! What do you know about anything Chrissy?  You ever been in love? Ever have your soul crushed?  You think you know me? You think you know what I went through? I doubt you’ve felt anything like this!”  He stormed out of the room.  Chrissy stared at AJ as he walked out of the room.  She sat dumbfounded on the couch and didn’t know what to make of the entire situation.  Tears began forming in her eyes, but she blinked rapidly to avoid having them spill onto her cheeks.  She got up from the couch and walked down the hall and saw AJ standing in the hallway, leaning against a wall.  AJ looked up and began to say, “I’m sorry,” but before he could, he was cut off.

    “Fuck you McLean! You think you’re the only one in the world who’s ever felt pain?  You think you’re the only one who’s ever been told they weren’t worthy of someone’s love?  Stop throwing yourself a goddamn pity party and join the fucking real world.  You aren’t the only one to have someone break your heart.  This was one girl!   One girl Alex.  Just sit here and close yourself off to anyone else who might ever care about you.  She was the reason why you left my house that night, wasn’t she?”  Chrissy crossed her arms and waited for an answer.  AJ sadly nodded yes.  Chrissy shrugged and began walking towards the door.  AJ began to follow.

    “Wait,” he said.

    “Why?” Chrissy asked not turning around.

    “Because, you deserve an explanation,” AJ said.

    “No, I don’t think I wanna hear it,” she said sadly.    “Goodbye,” she said as she opened the door and walked out.  The sun was glaring and she had no car.  Chrissy didn’t care, she’d rather walk than stay there and listen to AJ talk about how much he loved Maria.

    “Wait!  You don’t even have your car here,” AJ said as he grabbed Chrissy’s arm and whirled her around.

    “I’ll walk,” she said she got loose from his grip.

    “Chris, c’mon.  Please, just talk to me,” AJ said as he grabbed ahold of her again.

    “Let me go Alex.  You’ve explained everything.  Please,” Chrissy pleaded.  She tried to get loose from AJ’s grip again, but he held tight.

    “Let me go!” she demanded.  AJ wouldn’t let go.

    “You’re going to listen to me, and if I have to do it in front of all my neighbors, I will.  Damnit Chrissy, will you just listen to me?” Chrissy kept trying to wriggle loose but finally gave up.

    “Fine.  But, I’m staying right here,” she said.

    “Fine,” AJ said.  He let go of Chrissy and looked around just to see if anyone was watching.  Chrissy sighed.

    “Alright.  Look, the morning after we, uh, had sex, I started thinking of Maria.  Like, at first, I wasn’t freaked out by what we had done.  It was an incredible night Chrissy.  You have to believe me when I tell you that.  But, I don’t know, it’s like whenever I start feeling happy or good about something, Maria always comes popping back into my mind.  Always some bitchy reminder of her comes popping up.  I just got freaked out because I do still love her.  I don’t know why.  I wish I didn’t.  I wish we had never existed, but we did.  I never meant to hurt you, and you have to believe me when I say that Chrissy.”  AJ’s eyes were pleading as he stared into Chrissy’s.  She just stood there stonefaced.

    “I’m supposed to believe that pathetic excuse?  I’m supposed to believe that even though you had sex with me, you still carry around all of these feelings for her? How exactly do you think that makes me feel Alex?”  Chrissy waited for AJ to respond.

    “Probably pretty bad Chris,” he said weakly as he stared down at the ground.

    “Jesus!” she said.  Chrissy turned her back to walk away, but AJ grabbed her again.

    “What do you want me to say Chrissy?”

    “What do I want you to say?  Jesus, I can think of plenty for you to say right now.  Look Alex, I’m sorry Maria hurt you.  I’m sorry that you can’t be man enough to get over it too.  However, don’t fucking use me as a goddamn replacement,” she said icily.  AJ looked back down to the ground.

    “I never meant to use you as a replacement.  It’s just…” he trailed off.

    “It’s just what Alex? It’s just…that’s exactly what you did,” Chrissy said.

    “No,” AJ said as he shook his head.

    “Yes, it is!”

    “Chrissy, I haven’t been hanging out with you because I’m trying to replace her.  I’m just trying to get on with my life,” he said as he shook his head.  His eyes pleaded with Chrissy to understand.

    “Unfortunately Alex, you just can’t forget her, can you?  Nothing I do or anyone else for that matter can make you believe that you have every right in this world to move on,” Chrissy said as tears streamed down her face.  She didn’t want to cry in front of AJ, it just happened.  He looked at her and his heart sank as he saw tears rolling down her face.  Chrissy wiped her face.

    “I can’t deal with this right now,” she said as she turned around to walk away.  AJ stood there and watched her walk away.

    “Chrissy! I’m sorry!” he yelled.  She turned around.

    “Me too,” she said as she walked backwards and then turned back around and walked away.  AJ stood there and watched her walk away.  He shook his head and said “No” aloud and began to run after her.

    “Wait! Chrissy! Please, just wait!”  Chrissy kept on walking.  Finally, AJ caught up to her, and got in front of her and began to walk backwards.

    “Alex, get out of my way,” Chrissy said.

    “No.  Not until I say what I have to say,” he said.  Chrissy tried to walk around him, but every move she made, he’d shadow her.  Finally, Chrissy just stood in the street.

    “Well, spit it out,” she said.  AJ stood there for a second.  Thoughts were racing in his head.  He had so much to say to her, but nothing was coming to him coherently.

    “Ya see, the thing is…” he broke off.  Chrissy stared and then shrugged and tried to walk away again, but AJ grabbed her arm.

    “Chrissy, when I was with you that night, Maria never entered my mind.  The only thing I was concentrating on was you.  It’s nice to be with someone who doesn’t take every opportunity to make rude comments to me.  It’s nice to just  be with you Chrissy, and I’m being honest with you,” he said.  AJ stared deep into Chrissy’s green eyes and saw them sort of mist over for a second.  He ran his hands through his hair and waited for her to say something.  Chrissy just stared at him.  Finally, she shrugged.

    “AJ, how do I know that-“ and before she could finish she was interrupted by AJ’s lips pressing on hers.  Suddenly, Chrissy’s tense body melted as AJ wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss a little.  She let out a little sigh and kissed AJ back intensely.  Suddenly Chrissy broke from the kiss and stared at AJ with a grin on her face.

    “I wasn’t finished talking,” she said.  AJ smiled at her and pulled her face as close to his as he could and they rubbed noses for a second.  He smiled at her.

    “We’ve got all the time in the world,” he whispered.  Chrissy smiled back at him.  AJ kissed her again.  He broke from the kiss and stared at Chrissy with a look of happiness and wonderment in his eyes.  Chrissy smiled.

    “What are you thinking?” she asked. AJ smiled.

    “I’m thinkin’ about you,” he said as he grabbed her hands and began walking with her back to his house.
 

Lyrics Taken From:
"Hard to say I'm Sorry" Chicago
Written by: Cetera/Foster/L
© 1982 WEA/WARNER BROTHERS