It had been over three weeks since they had returned from Atlanta, three weeks of depression, sadness and confusion in Dani's life.  She had spent all her time since they returned shut away like a recluse in her room, or at work doing anything and everything she could do to avoid going home.  She had avoided all the questions Brian had for her, and Jody's as well.  Joey seemed to be the most hurt by her new attitude, but she couldn't talk to him, she knew she'd end up telling him what happened, and she'd rather no one knew, she'd rather she didn't know.  The drive home had been better than what she had been dreading, she had managed to sleep the whole ride back, but the long conversations between Jody and Brian had turned them into friends, and Dani had the feeling that something  more might be going on with them now, but she wasn't around enough to know for sure, and asking was out of the question.   Dani sat balled up on the couch wrapped in a big blue sleeping bag, it was 4 am and everyone was asleep, but along with her depression came insomnia, the gods cruel way to give her more time to remember and wish and cry, when she would just rather be sleeping.  In her dreams she didn't hurt so much, she didn't feel like she was punched in the stomach every time Brian asked her what was wrong and she was normal again, she was a whole person, not just this shell of a human being she had become since the night everything changed.  Dani stared blankly at the screen, watching 'Casablanca' on television, depressing her even more.

    "You're almost as stupid as I am." She said grumpily at the screen.

    "Why is Bogart stupid." Joey asked, sitting down next to her on the couch, appearing out of nowhere.

Because, he's letting himself relive the pain she put him through, her mind screamed.  "Nevermind, I'm going to bed now." Was what came out of her mouth.  Dani started to get up, being pinned to the couch by Joey.  "Can you move please, I'm tired."

    "I thought you and I were pretty good friends." He said sadly, looking into her averting eyes.

    "We are."

    "Then what's up with you?  Ever since you came back from the wedding you've been all weird. I thought it would pass, but fuck Dani, it's been almost a month."

    "Nothing's up."

    "Dani, I sit around with Brian and all we can do is talk about you and speculate about why you're acting like this.  Do you know what he and Jody think happened?"

    "I have ears Joey." She said in a loud whisper.  "I've heard them all, they think I was raped, they think I slept with Trevor and he broke my heart, they think a thousand and one things that are all wrong."

    "Well then what happened." he said with desperation in his voice.

    "Nothing Joey, why can't any of you get that through your heads.  Nothing happened, I didn't sleep with Trevor, I wasn't attacked at the club, I didn't switch places with my evil twin, and I wasn't abducted by aliens." She said angrily.

    "Say it all you want Dani, but I don't believe you and neither does Brian.  I know you Dani, and he knows you even better and this isn't you....something happened when you were there and we just want to know what it is." Ironic, Dani thought.  Brian was racking his brain left and right to try and figure out what was wrong with her, when all the while it was him.  He was what happened, he was the reason she found it hard to face people, he was the reason behind it all and he had no earthly idea.

    "You both think you know me so well, but there a thousand things about me you don't know."

    "Name one."

    "No.  Why don't you leave me alone Joey and go back to speculating why I'm so weird now."

    "Fuck you Dani, all I want to do is help."

    "Help someone who wants it then.  Maybe some poor soul somewhere in this world could use your words of wisdom Joey, hell why don't you go wake Brian up and make him feel better, help him open up." Dani bit down hard, pressing her teeth so hard against each other they hurt.    Joey looked at her stone faced and got up off the couch, all she heard was the door to his room slamming shut as she turned back to the movie, tears dropping in a familiar trail down her cheeks, but she quickly tried to stifle them. He wants to help, she scoffed her mind returning to Joey's words, go into Brian's room and beat the shit out of him until he remembers, until he knows that he was what happened.  She wanted to say to him, Or better yet beat the shit out of me so I can forget, that's how you can help Joey.

    "Shouldn't you be at work?" Brian asked, walking into the kitchen.

    "I called in sick." Dani said from her seat on the couch.

    "Are you sick?"

    "What do you think?" She said snidely, changing the channel repeatedly on the TV.

    "I don't know what to think about you anymore." Dani ignored his comment and picked up all her stuff, tossing the remote down on the couch and pushing past Joey in the hall.  They both watched as she went into her room, shutting the door tightly behind herself.

    "Shouldn't she be at work?" Joey asked, scratching himself through his boxers as he went into the kitchen with Brian.

    "She said she called in sick." Brian told him.  She had been getting on both their nerves lately.  "I don't know what the hell is wrong with her, but I wish she'd snap out of it."

    "She told me last night, she knows what we think happened."

    "And...?"

    "She said none of it's true." Joey shrugged, pouring a cup of coffee.

    "I don't believe her."

    "Me neither.  I told her that and she got all defensive."

    "What else is new." Brian sighed.  "I gotta go to work, I'll see ya later."

    "Bye."  Joey sat down at the table, looking through the sports section as Brian left, finally glancing up at the clock, noticing he had to be at work on the other side of town in less than an hour.  He put down the paper and the cup of coffee he hadn't touched and ran into the bathroom, quickly turning on the shower and getting in before he even had the temperature right.  After a quick shower he emerged from the steamy bathroom,  shivering with the coldness in the air.  He could hear Dani talking in a raised voice on the phone, maybe she didn't realize he was out of the shower, or maybe she just didn't care, but his own name caught his ear and he couldn't help but listen.

    "Brian and Joey keep looking at me like I'm a pariah.  I hear them talking about me all the time, about why I'm so different now....

No, I'm not telling them AJ, you're lucky I told you.  That was hard enough....

I don't know AJ, how the hell do you think I feel?......

Well, I don't need a lecture from you, that's not why I called.....

Look, I know it was stupid not using a condom, but neither of us were in our right minds, I know how big of a mistake it was.  And don't even try and pretend you haven't been there, I know you have.  We went to enough parties at school for me to know that much......

It's none of your business if I'm late or not.  AJ I'm not talking about that with you.  Can we change the subject?  Why don't you tell me what happened with Chrissy.  Is it over with you guys?....."

        Joey's eyes grew wide in surprise and he slinked away from the door to her room and into his own, his head swimming and his breathing growing hard.  He could still hear Dani talking in the next room as he quickly got dressed, wishing he had the time to process what was going though his mind, wishing he could talk to her, about what was going on.  Joey glanced at the clock as he buckled his belt, grabbing a jacket as he took off out the front door.

    "It's going to be a long day." He thought, hopping into the drivers seat of his beat up old Buick, speeding off to work.
 
 

        No one was home when Brian came home from work, the house was quiet but there was no peace in it.  Even without anyone home the house seemed strung with tension, and he knew all of them were sick of it.  He was pissed off at Dani, she was making things increasingly hard for everyone living in this house because all either he or Joey could do, was worry about her.  Brian was over his jealousy and resentment towards Joey, only because he saw how hurt Joey had become over her bitterness towards them, I think he really saw her as a close friend, Brian thought as he rummaged through the cupboards looking for something to eat.  He pulled out a box of macaroni and cheese and put a pot of water on the stove to boil as he removed his jacket and tie from a day of teaching.  How on earth do I spend my days teaching a bunch of children how to do this and that when I can't even figure out how to talk to my best friend? He wondered, pouring the macaroni in the boiling water.

    Brian stirred the pasta around, thinking about how he thought things with Dani were changing, he thought after he got rid of Sofie that maybe, just maybe something could happen with them.  She had slowly become all he could think about and he had spent the whole weekend in Atlanta daydreaming about it, and before the wedding he had the sense that she was feeling the same way, but now....now he wasn't sure what to think.  One minute she had been herself, joking and kidding with him at the stag dinner, and the next she was someone he didn't even know anymore.  Everything had changed between them, and up until that weekend he had the inkling it was changing for the better, now he didn't hold out much hope, day by day for the past few weeks she had pulled further and further away from him and everyone else, and he didn't know what to do, or how to help.

    Brian snapped back to reality as the pot on the stove began to boil over and he quickly removed it from the burner, draining the water and preparing his supper with a little milk, a little butter and a package of dry cheese product.    He didn't even bother to put it in a bowl, he just grabbed a fork from the drawer and sat at the table with the small pot on a dishcloth  and ate it straight from the pan.

    "Want some?" He asked Joey as he suddenly came barging in the door.

    "No thanks." He said sitting down with him at the table.  "Is Dani home?"

    "No I don't think so."

    "Good, I have something to tell you." Joey said, talking a deep breath.  "This morning after she took off in her room and you went to work I was getting ready for work too and when I left the shower I could hear her talking on the phone.  I couldn't help but listen."  He said apologetically, but Brian didn't say anything, it wasn't like he'd never done it before.

    "She was talking to her friend in Florida, ya know that guy."

    "AJ?"

    "Yeah AJ." He said out of breath.  "Well anyway she was yelling at him that she couldn't tell us and that she didn't want a lecture from him and stuff like that."

    "Get to the point." Brian said impatiently.

    "Okay, well I don't know what happened in Atlanta, but I think our guesses were right about that Trevor dude, because I think she's pregnant." He finally blurted out.

    "WHAT?!" Brian yelled in surprise, his heart stopping in his chest.

Lyrics Taken From:
"Open up your eyes" Tonic
Written by: Hart/Russo
© 1996 A&M