AJ entered his apartment after a long walk home from seeing Chrissy, a mixed sense of relief and sadness swirled inside him and he was glad he'd told her what was on his mind, but it still didn't leave him with very much.

    "Hey!" He said holding her food in the air, as Dani looked over at him.

    "What'd you get me?"

    "McDonalds."

    "Classy.  But I'm starving and I'll eat just about anything right now." She said pulling the food from the brown bag and sitting it in front of her.   Dani sat at the table savoring every bite of the food AJ had brought back for her, she didn't want to press him about what had gone down with Chrissy just yet, maybe he didn't even go see her, she thought eating the salty fries she had doused in ketchup. The shrill ring of the phone interrupted her thoughts and she looked towards AJ who stared at her with the same gaze.

    "I'm not getting it Dani!" He aid with a shake of his head.

    "Fine don't."

    "Well, someone has to get it."

    "It's your apartment!" She stated with annoyance as it rang for the third time.

    "Jesus, fine!" he said as it continued ringing and he jumped up and answered it.  "Hello?"

    "Brian."  He said with a glance towards Dani.  "Look man, she has nothing to say to you...yeah...uh huh....okay.  Here she is." AJ thrust the phone in her direction, she shook her head and backed away.  "Dani, take it!" He said sternly.

    "What do you want Brian?" She asked with an exasperated tone, still scowling at AJ, who took off into the bedroom.

    "As much as I want to talk to you about what's going on with us, that's not why I'm calling Dani, and that's not why I've been calling the past two days!" He said with frustration.

    "So why are you calling?"

    "Lauren's in the hospital." He said bluntly.

    "What?"

    "She's in the hospital and you're parents asked me to call you."

    "Why is she in the hospital?"

    "I think it's better if your parents tell you."

    "Screw off Brian, what happened? Is she okay?"

    "She's alive.  Just come home."

    "Brian, if this is some stupid trick to get me to come home..."

    "It isn't Dani."

    "Why didn't you just say it on the machine?" She said with annoyance.

    "I don't know why." He sighed in reflection.

    "I'll be there as soon as I can." Dani said quickly, hanging up the phone and calling her parents house, there was no answer.  Before she could go tell AJ what was wrong he appeared in front of her, her bag thrust forward and a kiss on the cheek as he told her a cab was waiting for her outside to take her to the airport.   He walked with her down stairs and they made a quick goodbye with promises to call as she got in.

Damn, I didn't even get to find out what happened with Chrissy.  Dani thought as the cab sped to the airport, her thoughts returning to Brian, and her sister and why she was in the hospital.
 
 

        Dani sat next to Lauren in the hospital room, she looked so pale and sick that she was almost frightening to look at.  The eerie blips and beeps of the monitors only made everything seem worse.  When Dani had finally made it back home she went directly to the hospital, it had taken forever to find out where Lauren was and what had happened to her, and her head still swam with everything she had been told.    Her parents informed her that the night before last Lauren had overdosed on something, no one was quite sure what it was, not even Lauren and that after three seizures and what they thought was almost a  stroke, she'd nearly died.    Now she lay sedated in a hospital bed.  Leave it to doctors, Dani thought cynically, she OD's and they give her more drugs.  Ya gotta love hospitals.   She had heard the doctors rattle off some of the things that could be wrong with her, after what they informed her parents, was from long term use of drugs like ecstasy, acid and who knew what else.   Her mother cried as the doctors told her Lauren could have brain damage, life-long seizure attacks, and severe psychological disorders or more mild things like temperament problems, paranoia and  mood swings, things that Lauren had already had for years, but they also said she could be fine.  No one really knew yet.

    It was just after super time and Dani sat alone with Lauren, watching the TV that hung in the corner of the room.  Her parents had gone home to finally get some rest and her brother had left a few hours ago.  She felt horrible for not being here as soon as it happened, knowing it was her stubborn pride that kept her from getting the message sooner.  A knock on the door broke the trance-like stare she was giving the television.  She looked over at the door expecting another nurse to come check on Lauren, but Brian was who she saw behind the glass window of the door.

    "Hey.  How is she?" He said peeking his head into the room.

    "Fine I guess.  Actually I don't really know." Dani said with a shake of her head as they looked over at the still form that lay in the bed.

    "When'd you get back?" He asked taking a closer look.

    "A few  hours ago.  Look you can come in if you want, I'll just go get something to drink." Dani said getting up off the stool she sat on.

    "Nah, I'll come visit when she's awake. I was actually looking for you."

    "Brian, I don't want to talk to you okay, especially not here."

    "You have to talk to me sometime Dani." He said turning his attention towards her.

    "I don't have anything to say to you."

    "Well I have things to say."

    "I don't want to hear them." She said angrily.  "Just forget about it Brian, and leave if you aren't here to see Lauren."

    "You couldn't forget, what makes you think I can."  He said defensively, Dani getting more and more angry by the second.

    "Here Brian," she said fishing a $10 bill from her pocket and throwing it at him.  "Go buy a couple of drinks on me, it seemed to work last time."  Brian let out a sound that was somewhere between pissed off and dejected.  He just looked at her with a shake of his head.

    "That was cold Dani.  I didn't forget on purpose."

    "Just leave Brian.  This isn't the place."

    "You can ignore me, you can be pissed off at me or you can go hide in Orlando, but I know that tough front is just an act.  I'll be around when you're willing to hear what I have to say." He said with another shake of his head, leaving the room.  Dani let out the breath she was holding when the door shut, she watched through the window as he walked down the hall away from Lauren's room.
 

    "You always run don't you." Her sister said stirring in the bed, groggily trying to sit up.

    "How long have you been awake?" Dani yelped turning to face her sister.

    "Awhile." She said in a hoarse voice.  "It's fun hearing what everyone says when they think you're out of it.  So what happened with you and Brian?"

    "Nothing.  How are you feeling? Want me to get a nurse?" Dani said reaching for the call button.

    "I feel like they pumped my stomach, and no I don't want any nurses."  She said with a bitter tone.  "So what is it, what can't you guys forget?"

    "It's a long story Lauren, I don't want to talk about it." Dani sat back down.

    "Dani, do I look like I'm going anywhere?"  Lauren said.  "C'mon, all everyone's done for the past couple of days is talk about me and my problems.  I wanna hear something that I didn't have anything to do with for once."

Dani didn't know if it was the fact that Lauren had almost died the night before last, that she looked so sick and small in the hospital bed or if she just really wanted to tell someone everything that had happened, someone who knew about their past, but she told Lauren.  Every sordid detail, every painful word, everything that had happened in the months since they had last talked.  Maybe someday telling Lauren all of this would come back to bite her in the ass, but for right now she didn't care.  Lauren was once again the sister she could tell everything to, her confidant.

    "Jesus!" Lauren sighed when Dani was finished, Dani could see how surprised she was about what had happened.  "Well, I was right.  You do always run."

    "That's it?  That's what you have to say about everything that I went through?"

    "I should tell that to mom and dad, maybe they wouldn't harp on me for doing a few drugs, if they knew you got drunk and whored around."  Dani looked at her with returning hatred and regret. "I'm sorry, I was just kidding." Lauren laughed.

    "So..." Lauren said after a few minutes of silence. "Maybe you should hear Brian out Dani.  Maybe you'll want to hear what he has to say."

    "When did you start caring about other people."

    "Maybe between seizures." She said with a half-smile.

    "That's not funny Lauren."

    "It was a little funny." She said with a shrug.  "Go hear what he has to tell you Dani.  It couldn't get any worse than it is now could it?"

    "It can always get worse."

    "You still haven't told him have you?" Lauren said in appallment.

    "Told him what?"

    "If you're pregnant or not, that you're in love with the guy.  Take your pick."

    "No to both of them, and I'm not in love with him anymore."

    "God you are so full of shit," She practically yelled.  "Tell him Dani.  He deserves to know!"

    "Why do you care so much about what affects Brian?  I thought you hated him!" Dani exclaimed.

    "I messed with a lot of people's lives Dani, I'm just trying to makes amends somehow."

    "Aren't you the do-gooder."

    "Don't be a bitch to me, I'm the one who's sick and in the hospital." Lauren cried.

    "You put yourself here Lauren, don't beg for my pity."  Before they could continue their conversation, Lauren and Dani's parents walked into the hospital room, rushing to Lauren's side and fawning over her.

    "I'm gonna go down and get something to eat." Dani said, backing away from the bed.

    "You're still running Dani, even when you're standing next to him!" She heard Lauren yell as she left the room.
 

        Dani stirred the lukewarm cup of tea she had stopped drinking twenty minutes ago, wondering if Lauren was right.  If maybe she should talk to Brian and just hear what he had to say.   She knew everything she wanted to say to him,  everything she wished she could say to him, but everything with Brian was hard.   There was too much involved to just lay it all out on the table, too much to lose.  Hope was just about all she had left to think about where Brian was concerned.   Their friendship was just about gone, and so was any chance she had of getting things back to the way they used to be.  Tears welled up in Dani's eyes thinking about it, knowing she'd be better off not being friends with him not being around him.  They weren't good for each other the way they used to be.

    Dani rested her head on one elbow, the cafeteria had been closed for over an hour, all the chairs were up on the tables, all except hers, and  the lights were dimmed low.  She wiped the  wetness from her cheeks when she sensed someone watching her.  She knew it was Brian.  It didn't take long for him to walk over to her, she didn't have the strength to tell him to leave.

    "Hey." Brian said.  "How's Lauren?"

    "Good, almost back to herself."

    "Is that good or bad?" He said with a smirk.

    "I don't know yet."

    "I'll go visit her before I go."

    "I thought you left already." She said, not turning her head to look at him, just watching from the corner of her eye as  he took a chair from the next table and flipped it over, sitting down beside her.

    "I came back."

    "What for?"

    "You."

    "Brian why here?  Can't it wait?" She needed time to think about what she was going to say to him, about what she wanted to say to him.

    "I don't know Dani." Brian said emphatically.  "All I know is that as long as Lauren's in the hospital I know I can find you here.  Otherwise it's anyone's guess where you'll be."

    "You knew where to find me in Florida." She said, still staring at the bottom of her tea cup.

    "And what good did that do me.  You wouldn't even talk to me Dani.  What is going on with us?"

    "Nothing." There is no us, her mind screamed.

    "Then why can't you talk to me.  Why won't you listen."

    "Look Brian,  I know what I put you through." She said with a shake of her head.

    "I put you through more." He confessed, leaning an elbow on the table and tilting his head so he could see her face.  "I'm sorry Dani.  I crossed a line and I don't know if we can get back over it."

    "We both crossed that line Brian." Dani said, finally looking him in the face.

    "Yeah but it's my fault we did."  All Dani could think was that it wasn't his fault.  She didn't do anything she didn't want to do, why couldn't he understand that?

    "I'm sorry I sprung it on you, I didn't want it to come out like that."

    "You shouldn't of had to spring it on me at all"

    "Forget about everything Brian, please just do me that favor." Dani begged.

    "Dani I can't  just..."

    "Look before you say anything else I have to tell you something." She said sitting up, his actions mirroring hers.   "I'm not pregnant Brian, I mean I thought I was a couple of weeks ago, but it was a false alarm, you don't have to worry about being held down, or anything like that.  I know it was mean of me to let you think I was, I was just mad and...."

    "I was never worried about being held down Dani, I was worried about you."

    "Yeah?  Well don't." She said, a silence coming between them again.
 
 

    "I'm moving out Brian.  Things are different, and I can't do it anymore."  She said with a shake of her head.

    "Can't do what?"

    "I think I just need to not be around you for awhile.   I'm not ready to be your friend again, I don't know if I ever will be." Dani saw the hurt that flashed in his eyes.  She had seen the same look in his eye when he had asked her if she hated him and she didn't have an answer.  The problems they had that night in the park seemed so inconsequential in comparison to everything that had happened since.

    "Are you moving back to Florida?" He finally asked, all Dani could think about was Lauren telling her she always ran.  She knew it was true.  But leaving was less painful than being faced with the truth, of staying and possibly hurting someone more by doing it.

    "I don't know what I'm doing.   Look I have to go Brian." She said getting up out of her chair and throwing her cold tea cup in the garbage can.

    "Do you have a reason or do you just not wanna be around me?" He asked, not getting up from his seat.

    "A little of both." She shrugged, turning away from him and going back up to Lauren's room, maybe I can sleep in my old bed tonight, she thought as she shoved her hands in her pockets and walked with a listless step towards the elevators, forcing herself to not turn and look at him.

        Brian knocked lightly on the door, visiting time was almost over and he at least wanted to say hi before he left.  He had waited a long time in the cafeteria before coming up.  He pushed open the door and scanned the room before giving Lauren a smile.  She sat on the bed, looking pale and tired, skimming through the latest Cosmo.

    "Brian?" She said with astonishment, when she saw him come in.

    "Hi Lauren how are you?"

    "I've been better. Why are you here?"

    "I dunno, I wanted to see you I guess, see if you're okay."

    "Looking for Dani huh?" She smiled.

    "Sort of, I mean I came to say hi, but I really need to talk to her."

    "She gave me some magazines and took off for the night, I don't know where she went."

    "Oh." He said glancing at his watch.  It was almost eight.

    "I know what happened with you guys."  Lauren confessed setting the magazine down.

    "Great...More for you to hold against me huh!"

    "I'm sorry about all of that Brian." Lauren said with sincerity

    "Are you really?"

    "I've been screwed up for a long time Brian, I messed with a lot of lives, and yours was one of them."  Brian shrugged, she was right.  "I have to tell you something about Dani, because she never will.  It'll explain a lot about her and why she's acting the way she is." Lauren said, trying to get Brian to sit down.

    "Lauren I already know about what happened at that wedding."

    "That's not what I'm talking about Brian."

    "Look Lauren I'm sorry you're in here and I hope you get better, but I really have to go find her." Brian said opening the door again.

    "Brian, it won't take long." Lauren beckoned.  "You know Dani,  if she doesn't want to talk to you, you aren't going to be able to find her."

    "What is it?" He finally conceded, sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

    "First I have to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me.  When you look at Dani do you see a friend?"

    "Yes, of course I do." He proclaimed.

    "No, I mean do you ONLY see that."

    "Lauren what are you talking about?"

    "I'm talking about the way you feel about Dani and the way she feels about you Brian." Lauren said, finally grabbing Brian's attention.

        Brian left  the hospital as quickly as he could.  He needed to find Dani, he needed to talk to her about what Lauren had said and he needed to get everything he was thinking off his chest, before she was gone again.  Where do I start looking? He wondered as he pulled from the hospital parking lot.
 
 

Lyrics Taken From:
"When Love & Hate Collide" Def Leppard
Written by: Savage/Elliot
© 1995 Polygram