Chapter Nine: Torn

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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         Chrissy rested her head on top of AJ’s chest and thought about what had just happened.  I can’t believe we just did that.  I can’t believe AJ and I…holy shit, I can’t believe how amazing that was, she thought with a grin.  Her head was swimming with thoughts of the past hour.  Do I feel bad? Do I feel happy? What?   Chrissy closed her eyes and all she could see or feel was AJ kissing her.  The thought made her stomach get full of butterflies and made her want to scream out with giggles and delight, just like a twelve year old.  She sighed and looked at AJ.  His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful, she stared at him a little more and thought more about the events that had just happened.  It was true she had been attracted to AJ right from the start, but now he was her friend and what was this going to mean for their friendship.  Sex changes everything, she thought.  Chrissy sighed deeply and decided she’d sleep on it and see how she felt in the morning.  Things always look better in the morning, she thought as she closed her eyes.
 

    AJ woke up early.  He found himself naked with a mass of Chrissy’s curls just laying in a heap on his chest.  He smiled at the memory of last night, running  his hand through her hair and twisting some strands around his long fingers.  He ran his hand down her bare arm that was laying across his stomach and she stirred a little.  AJ didn’t want to wake her, but he had to go to the bathroom.  He gently lifted Chrissy’s head and arms off of him and placed her on the couch.  He grabbed his boxer shorts that were laying on the floor and quickly slipped them on.  AJ swiftly made his way to the bathroom and closed the door quietly.  He stopped and looked at himself in the mirror.  AJ gave a smirk to himself and turned on the water faucet.  He splashed his face with water and dried off.  He stared at himself again, this time with a heavy heart.  All of the sudden, a crushing wave of guilt washed over him.  You dumb fuck!  You slept with Chrissy?  I’m  fucking in love with Maria, but I slept with Chrissy.  I didn’t even really wanna sleep with Chrissy, at least, not until we were actually doing it. Fuck Maria! .  She broke my fucking heart! Shit, why am letting her do this to me?  I probably messed all this shit up with Chrissy too.   AJ shook his head and stood in front of the mirror for almost a minute.  He began to pick at the sides of his thumbs and bite the inside of his cheek, a nasty habit he began when he was a little boy.  He finally went to the bathroom and made his way back out to the living room to put his clothes back on quietly, grabbing  all of his clothes and quietly going  into a corner of the living room to put them on.
 

    Chrissy woke up and saw that AJ wasn’t on the couch anymore.  She looked around her and saw that he was in the corner trying to be as quiet as possible about getting dressed.

    “Morning,” she mumbled as she got up and threw on her shirt from last night and walked past him and into the kitchen, not making eye-contact with him.  AJ mumbled a “Morning” too and quickly pulled on his jeans.  Chrissy fumbled around in the kitchen making some coffee.  She opened up a drawer to hunt for a pack of cigarettes.  She pulled a pack out of the drawer, found a matchbook and lit a cigarette.  AJ looked into the kitchen.

    “So, you do actually own some of your own,” he said.  Chrissy smiled at him and walked over to the coffeepot, pointing at the coffee and raising her eyebrows toward AJ.  He nodded no.

     “I really gotta get home,” he said.  AJ began to stand up when he patted himself down. "Shit, where are my keys?”

    Chrissy poked her head out of the kitchen and pointed to the table.  AJ saw them and picked them up, placing  the keys in his pocket and nodding towards Chrissy.  She nodded back and he started to leave.  AJ got to the door and turned back around towards Chrissy.

    “Later,” he said.

    “Later.”  AJ nodded his head and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

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"Nothing's fine I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I am cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor..."

 Chapter Ten

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