It had been a hard couple of days since she arrived in Dallas.  Kayla had assumed things would be okay if she wasn't around the people who reminded her of her own pain, but it seemed to have hitched a ride to Texas with her.  Even being around her brothers rambunctious kids didn't totally get her mind off the swirl of thoughts that made her jump in worry anytime her cell phone rang.  Even though he hadn't called since the night in the motel.  Even though she assured AJ that Nick didn't matter to her anymore.  Even though she tried to assure herself of the same thing.

    The quietness of the house was strange.  She was used to the white noise of a city, not the eerie silence of a ranch nestled on the outskirts of town.  Her brother, his wife and their kids were gone for the day, and even though it was nice to have the place to herself, she felt horrible and being alone only intensified everything.   Sure she could have called home, talked to Sam, talked to her friends, talked to AJ, but for some reason she felt more comfortable in her seclusion.  She needed to be alone.

    Kayla left the warm spot she had made for herself on the couch in front of the television, the sickly sweet romances on every channel were making her nauseous.  She walked into the bathroom feeling worse with every second that passed.  She couldn't shake it as much as she tried.  Every ounce of her hurt, and all she wanted to do was get rid of the pain, the pressure, the feeling.    Before she even thought twice about it, she rifled through her brothers medicine cabinet, looking for something....anything to make it all go away, for even just a moment.   Finally she found her salvation in a small bottle tucked way in the back where the small hands of children couldn't reach it.  She let the water under the tap run cold as she popped the child proof cap off, shaking them into the palm of her hand.  She put the small pills into her mouth one at a time,  leaning down and drinking straight from the faucet to swallow them down.

She closed her eyes for a moment, deciding to get in a hot bath while waiting for the drugs to take effect.  She filled it with water that was almost hotter than she could handle, squeezing in some bubble bath that sat on the edge of the tub and watching the frothy white bubbles develop under the running water.

Kayla lowered herself into the hot bath when it was full, the warmth around her was somewhat soothing, but she couldn't help but let her mind trail to Nick.   It was driving her crazy, wanting to know what he wanted to say to her, why he wanted to talk to her, but so afraid of what it was that she'd never allow more than a sentence to be spoken between them.    She closed her eyes and tried not to think about anything, she tried not to think about him.  She just wanted to sleep and forget.

Kayla wasn't sure how long she had been in the bathtub when she opened her eyes again, she was fairly sure she had fallen asleep, but she couldn't be sure, her head was too cloudy to think about it.   The water was still warm when she stepped out of the tub and put on the flannel pajama's she had been looking forward to wearing.   Her fingers were almost unable to loop the buttons in the correct hole, and her feet barely made it into the legs of the pants without her body toppling off balance.      Kayla's vision seemed tunneled as she walked down the hall to the spare bedroom her brother had dubbed hers for the duration of the visit.  She hadn't expected to be so overcome by what she had taken, but every limb on her body felt numb and her head seemed more and more shrouded in haze with every step she took.

All I want to do is reach the bed, she thought, fairly sure even her internal voice sounded slurred.  The bed seemed a million miles away as she entered the room, and before she could reach it, her vision faded to black and her body crumpled to the floor.

Chapter 16

Sunsets Index
Back to Main