"So are you gonna invite me in?" Jenna asked after a few minutes of wide-eyed silence between she and Nick.  His jaw hung agape as he stepped back allowing her to come inside.  She walked past him, the smell of her perfume filling his nostrils and reminding him of so many things, of so many memories and of their time together.

    "Wow, everything still looks the same." She said spinning around the room, looking the house over from top to bottom.  "But you never were one for change."

    "Jenna, what are you doing here?" Nick finally asked, shutting the door. "It's been a really long time."

    "Over a year." She stated, walking into the kitchen where he now stood.

    "So, why are you here?"

    "I just moved back from Chicago.  I missed Florida too much, couldn't handle the cold."

    "So you were in Chicago."

    "Yeah, I thought you knew."

    "I had no idea where you were.  But Florida isn't the here I meant Jen.   I mean why are you here this morning after all this time?"

    "I missed a lot more than Florida." She said staring into his eyes with her own.  He held back the urge to touch her, she still looked the same as the day she left, although without the tears this time.  He didn't know what to say or do, so many things in his life had changed since she left, and now that he had her in front of him he was glad she was here, but torn over feeling that way.  "Nick, I'm sorry maybe I shouldn't have come. I don't know what I was thinking." She said after the awkward silence, walking back towards the door she had just walked through.

    "No, Jen.  Wait!" He said stopping her in her tracks.  "What were you thinking?" He needed to know,

    "I don't know." She said shaking her head.  "I just wanted to see you again, so I wouldn't wonder for the rest of my life if I was giving up something I never wanted to lose in the first place."

    "I thought you couldn't trust me."

    "Are you still the same?"

    "No."

    "Well neither am I, and I've had a lot of time to think about everything that happened."

    "Jenna, I know I never treated you right, and I'm sorry I was ever like that, but...."

    "But what Nick.  I wasted a year without you, I've never missed anybody so much in my life." They stood facing each other, standing in his kitchen and staring into each others eyes as they spoke.  "I just don't want to miss you anymore."

    "So what are you expecting now?  That I'll just let you come back into my life after spending a year trying to get over you?" He asked.  "It's more complicated than that.  There are things now..."

    "You spent a year trying to get over me."

    "Jenna, don't be coy like that.  Did you think leaving wouldn't affect me?"

    "I don't know what I thought.  All I know is I'm prepared to forget and forgive everything that happened between us because I'm still in love with you, and I came back because of you, because of us.  I don't care about the complications."

    "Jenna, everything's different now.  I'm different now"

    "Do you still love me?"

    "I never stopped."

    "Then things aren't that different are they?" Jenna sighed, taking ahold of Nick's hands, and looking at him for a moment before letting them go.  "You know where I'll be Nick."

He watched as she walked backwards towards the door, the same look that he remembered saying goodbye as she left his house.  He opened his hand and looked at the paper she had placed inside.  A phone number.   He set it down next to the phone his mind swimming with a thousand thoughts and emotions, his heart hadn't stopped racing from the moment he opened the door, and he wasn't sure if it would ever slow down.   Jenna's sudden appearance and her departure seemed surreal.  Had she really been here?  He knew she had.  He could still smell her, and feel her hands in his.

Jenna why are you doing this now?  Why couldn't you have come back sooner, when things in my life weren't so different?  Why did you have to wait until now to change your mind?

Nick paced back and forth across the kitchen floor.  His day had barely begun and already it looked as if it would be a long time before it ended.  Nick left the  house, going out on the boat to sail away from civilization for at least a few hours.  He needed to clear his head and make a choice that, no matter where it fell, would kill a little part of him.

        It was late that evening when he finally returned, the winter sun had begun to set and lights lit up the coastline as he docked the boat.   He felt like he was drunk, an afternoon of hot sun and troublesome thought had turned his mind into mush, and he was sick of thinking, of wondering, of speculating.  His mind  wasn't clear, but he had decided what he was going to do.  A choice he had flip-flopped back and forth on all afternoon.  Nick secured the boat and sauntered back up to the house, it's darkness making him feel lonely, making him want to go back out on the boat and wait for the stars to shine and his problems to disappear with the sun.  He picked up the phone the minute he came inside, not bothering to listen to the eight messages that waited on his machine, afraid someone's voice would only make him falter on his decision.  He dialed the numbers with shaky hands, staring at the piece of paper Jenna had given him, he had never felt so nervous and scared in his whole life, not for a performance, an awards show, not for anything.

    "If you're calling me I'm right here." The familiar voice said as Nick spun around to greet her.  His heart pounding out of his chest and his mouth dry with nervousness as he put the phone back on it's hook.

Chapter 10

Sunsets Index
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