What images pop up in your mind when you think about camping?
Scenario #1:
Green grass, friendly squirrels eating out of your hand, birds chirping, sleeping under a lovely sheet of midnight stars, communing with nature...ahhh
Scenario #2:
Sleeping on mud, evil squirrels biting your toes, birds crapping all over your stuff, sleeping with big spiders in the pouring rain, cursing out nature, freezing your bollocks off...
The real answer probably lies somewhere between the two. Yes, camping is great outdoorsy fun, but you also can't forget that along with the outdoors comes unpredictability. If you don't plan your trip correctly, then you might
accidentally end up with rain, big spiders, or those evil squirrels nibbling at your jugular.
Fortunately, the Gadgies are here to help you out with the basics of spending the night in the great outdoors - what to expect, what to bring, and how to keep those pesky bears from stealing your picnic basket.
This is rough stuff- and when we say "rough," we mean "rough." No farmers checking up on you, no Inn,Dyke or corner shop, no kid down the road to sort you out, nothing. So before you leave home cram as much alcohol and stuff into your back-pack (leave the sleeping bag at home if you must:-)
During your camping trip, you pitch a tent (if you have one) or lay out your Divvy bag in the middle of the woods and completely fend for yourself. In other words, it's caveman camping: sleep outside, get your own food, piss in the woods, and connect with nature. It is extremely important that you read our safety precautions very carefully if you want to have a safe rough camping trip.
If you've never gone camping in your life, then you really shouldn't try this type of camping on your first mission unless you're with people who have experienced this kind of stuff before. You don't want to get out there after pedaling all day only to realize that you can't fall asleep without listening to your favourite Pink Floyd c.d or that relieving yourself in the woods is not your cup of tea. Or, even worse, you could fall down a hole or get lost.
You may even die!
The items that should be given the most attention; Sleeping Bag, Backpack, tent, This will keep you warm (or cool, depending), keep the nasties away, and shelter you from whatever nature decides to throw at you.
Important features to look at are: size and weight, ventilation, waterproofing and color.
SIZE AND WEIGHT: How much room do you need exactly? This depends on how much time you intend to spend in the tent. For example, if you plan a weekend away in the summer, then you can stand to use a smaller one or even Divvy it. But if you'll be hiking your way through the outback or crawling your way through some rainforest during the rainy season, you may want something a bit roomier since it will be more of a home. Backpackers will want something as light as possible without being flimsy, while those traveling by car can stand to lug around a 30 pound tent for six. When judging the size, allow plenty of room for each person and their gear and hopefully some personal space. How close do you want to get with your mates anyway.
VENTILATION: Why do you need to worry about ventilation? Well, we assume that after being outside for a couple of days, chances are Billy Buck that you'll be a bit, shall we say, "hygienically-challenged," and so will your roomies (or should we call them tenties?). You also need good ventilation so you can breath on those humid August nights.
WATERPROOFING: You know the weatherman is always wrong, so you should prepare yourself for the worst of conditions (even if Micky Fish promises a sunny, beautiful weekend). There's nothing worse than spending the night in a wet tent. It'll make all of your stuff smell, and you won't get much sleep. So our recommendation is that you spring for high-quality material. You won't regret it, even if it sets you back a few quid. Just keep in mind that unless you get a top-of-the-range tent, most tents will leak a little, so a good waterproof sleeping bag will let you rest a little easier.
COLOUR: It is advisable to stick with neutral colors that blend well with nature to avoid being an eyesore. However, if you are not camping in a designated site, you should get the brightest neon possible, since it'll be highly visible if (heaven forbid) something goes wrong and you can't find your tent or you become the target of a search and rescue mission.
SLEEPING BAG: Your bed-away-from-home must be comfortable and appropriate to the weather. You don't want to settle in on your first night and freeze or sweat the night away because you bought (or borrowed) the wrong type of bag. A good night's sleep is very important when you are hiking or pedaling all day and sharing close quarters- Grumpiness CAN ruin friendships. We've all seen The Young Ones
There are bags out there for every occasion. Winter bags, if you're crazy enough to brave temperatures below freezing, and other bags for mild to hot conditions (some even have a zip-out lining for more flexibility). Make sure it is sufficiently insulated for those cold nights. If you're still chilly, throw on the hat that you packed (more about that later) to prevent body heat from escaping. You may also want to bring a mattress pad for added comfort. The foam "egg crate"-looking mats are light and will roll up tightly to save room in your bag. One last thing:(if your an Inky) If you can get a sleeping bag with a built-in pillow, go for it. It'll be one thing less to pack, and after a long day of hiking/riding, you'd trade your own sister for a good pillow.
BACK-PACK: Weight, again, is an important issue if you are hiking/pedaling, as you will be wearing this thing all day long. How the weight is distributed will determine if the backpack is your best friend or the pain in the neck you'll end up with. Because your hips will be able to bear a lot more weight than your shoulders, a hipbelt on your bag will come in handy (especially when pedalin' it). The hipbelt should neither be too soft nor too firm and should cup over your hipbones. Shoulder straps should also not be too soft as they will begin to dig into your skin after a few hours. Finally, an internal frame (which runs along the curve of your back, thus transferring the weight without sacrificing flexibility) will also help make you a happy camper. All this stuff can get a little pricey, but if you're camping for more than a couple days, it's worth it. You don't want to end your trip more stressed out than at the start. As for construction, this element can also save your sanity. Many packs offer a separate compartment for your sleeping bag as well as a pouch to stow away wet items such as your tent or raincoat (so that your favorite sweatshirt or teddy bear doesn't get ruined). Too many outside pockets will affect the weight distribution and should be avoided. Extra loops and straps can be used for bulky items or tools. Also convenient is smaller bag that can be zipped off the main pack when you have set up camp and don't want to carry that huge monstrosity around.
If you don't feel like rubbing two sticks together, a Dutch oven can be used to cook just about anything from cakes to soups to pancakes. member! However, Dutch ovens are pretty heavy and have a propensity to rust, so check out the camping stoves at your local camping shop, you'll be surprised at the size. Plates should ideally be made of heavy plastic, which is lighter than most metals, easy to clean, and will retain heat longer. Paper plates are NOT recommended since they cannot be cleaned and must be slung after use and will attract animals and nasties if not disposed of properly.
After you choose your bag, it's time to fill it up. This should be done in the shop prior to its purchase, so that you can really test out its quality and strength. Don't worry if people give you strange looks for filling the backpack in the shop . . . would you rather see it fall to bits in the middle of Nowhere?
Here are the 10 things that you absolutely cannot do without:
Map
Compass
Water and a way to purify it
Extra food
Rain gear and extra clothing
Firestarters and matches
First aid kit
Army knife or multi-purpose tool
Torch with extra bulbs and batteries
Sunblock and sun glasses
Other essentials are: A hat to keep you warm at night (as we mentioned earlier) and for shading you from the sun since sunblock is not always sufficient. If firewood is not provided at your site, bring along an axe. Rope can be used for a clothesline, among other things. A portable shower and/or toilet will be invaluable when camping for a week or more in rougher conditions. A solar shower is made simply of a black plastic bag and a hose with a shut-off clip. Direct sunlight will warm five gallons of water in about three hours. Most importantly, don't forget a camera to record special moments, such as your sweetie-pie pooping in the woods. We advise that you leave the fancy one at home and buy some disposables or a pocket camera, just in case of loss or damage.
Knowing what to pack is only half the battle; you must also learn how to pack for optimal comfort and convenience. Again, most backpacks provide a separate compartment for your sleeping bag. You can stuff your tent and waterproofs in there as well - this way, when you set up camp, you won't have to unpack everything first. Most of the weight should be at the top, so clothes go in next. Keep a few items in outer pockets for easy access such as a hat, gloves and rain gear, as well as any item that is used daily such as toothpaste, sunblock, water, insect repellent and camera. Food, fuel, and cooking utensils are next and should be packed carefully so they are not poking you in the back. Keep the fuel away from the food in case of a spill. If you choose to bring a mattress, this can be rolled up and strapped to your pack, or stowed inside if there's room.
Right! You've planned, you've packed, you've hiked/pedalled. You're wrecked! Now it's time to pitch a tent (get your mind out of the gutter nutta). Pitching your tent is the last thing you feel like doing, right? Hopefully you've done a trial run in your garden, because it would really piss you off when you suddenly realize that some poles are missing or that your tent has huge holes in it. Read over your tent-building destructions to make sure they are clear.
Upon arriving at your site, inspect the ground thoroughly for glass, poisonous plants, large dead animals, and other potential hazards. Clean up the area, removing any rocks or branches before erecting your makeshift home. Make sure that the ground is as dry as possible and as level as possible.
Finally, remember to be kind to the environment. Leave the campsite just how you found it or even cleaner. Use products that reduce waste, such as no-rinse soap. Don't leave any rubbish behind, and burn what debris you can (without pissing off others). When your fire has died down, scrape the remains into the center and bury the ash so that you don't kill the grass that surrounds it. The cleaner you leave the site, the more likely it will be that the next campers will respect it as well.
You're a good kid, and we'd like to keep you around for a while. Having said that, we think you should carefully consider the following safety tips:
* Remain calm. As impossible as it sounds, you must NEVER panic.
* Avoid camping alone in isolated areas. Ever heard of the Boogeyman?
* We suggest that you do not take pets. Leave them at home, and make sure that you have someone checking up on them. Pets easily get lost in the wilds.(I know, I've lost a ferret or two but that's another story)
* Familiarize yourself with local emergency locations and phone numbers.
* Avoid leaving your camping gear unattended.
* Get to know your camping neighbors, and help protect each other's belongings.
* Avoid walking alone at night. Again, the Boogeyman.
* Before taking weapons with you, be aware of the law.It is illegal to carry weapons. You might accidentally shoot the Boogeyman, and then his Boogeywife will be after you.
Once you've digested that lot, there are a few other issues to deal with,pests and bears.
PESTS: By "pests" we mean insects and wild animals - not your little brother. Unless you want to attract swarms of nasties, avoid wearing bright colours and perfume.Use repellent for the midgets and mosquitoes, and keep your campsite clean. Wash dishes and cooking equipment thoroughly and seal up rubish in plastic bags and containers until it can be disposed of safely.
BEARS: While bears generally won't harm you, there are certain steps you can take to avoid having one rip your face off. When camping, carry pepper spray and keep a sharp eye out for bear evidence (such as poop larger than your boot). Tightly seal off ALL food, drinks, rubbish, and anything else with a scent, in tightly-wrapped double bags. If you see a bear, NEVER approach it . . . haven't you ever seen When Animals Attack? Don't panic, and don't run. Calmly back away. If the bear charges, then lie facedown on the ground, covering your neck with your hands. But whatever you do, don't fight back - the bear will think this to be an aggressive act, making it even angrier, then you'll probably end up minced.
So now you know that a fun camping trip is well-planned and well-researched. Each camper must be willing to do his or her fair share of all the hard work involved. We've given you the basics; it's up to you to solve the mystery of the Blair Witch. So go out there and become one with nature, but please do come back!
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