I guess it's my chagrin that item #10, about a certain "niece who cannot be named but plays a mean game of soccer", has been removed. This person, of whom I stand by my point of her being dutifully spoiled by her grandmother and aunt by the age of four, pointed out that the facts were incorrect. I aplogize to her and beg forgiveness.
As for the person who enlightened her to this page, I do not.
Anyhow, a few MORE questions for the Parkes of the world: (new are in BOLD)
1. If Yakima is such a nice place, why do you leave for California yearly?
2. Is there really such a thing as "Good Mexican Wine"?
3. Is it true that Boehm's makes 50% of its revenue off of yourselves?
4. Is it true that Bonair makes 50% of its revenue off of myself?
5. How long did it take for the Parkes to develop their refined method of paying bills by
the color of the envelope?
6. Why does keeping medicine dating back to the US Civil war make any practical sense?
7. Why does making your husband take such medicine make any more sense?
8. Why will you spend perfectly good money buying new medicine for the animals?
9. Why does Dale cringe as he sees you force feed pills down a cat's mouth? Is he
seeing a future pattern there or what?
10. Which has a lower expected life expectancy - a piece of good chocolate or a secret in this
family?
11. Why, when people in the Parke family call, they begin speaking by yelling my name.
"JAMES!" I will hear. Do you think I might have forgotten it?
12. Why, when you have a kitchen the size of a submarine hatchway, demand that everyone
crowd into it to help clean after a dinner?
13. What is the point of kicking an obviously sleeping man in a chair and telling him to go to bed?
14. Why does the family view microwave popcorn as a healthy meal?
15. How do you sort things in your fridge? By age? By lethality? How do you know? Why do
you suppose guests who are asked to "get the milk out of the fridge" open it and freeze with
absolute terror?
16. If you are all so busy, why is my phone bill so high?
17. How can someone actually think that watching a farm implement dragging christmas
lights an unmissable attraction?
18. Is strapping a propane torch on the back of a 70-ish man and sending him into the
netherlands something sane?
19. Is microwave popcorn a full meal?
20. Since Yakima is 1,259 miles from Palm Springs, was the person who dreamed up
the nickname for Yakima simply being sacrastic or was he following one of your
shortcuts?
