Wedding Survey

In order to make the next marriage in the family even more unbearable than the last, I am asking for those who attended to please complete the survey, put it in an envelope and then commit yourself to a mental institution.

1) I found that the location of the wedding was:

a) Perfect for the theme and local to most of us

b) Further from civilization than I'd ever been before

c) In a vast arctic wasteland covered in ice

2) The wedding ceremony itself was:

a) Beautiful and touching

b) Faster than a Brittney Spears engagement

c) Full of people crying with tears of happiness. Well, at least we HOPE it was happiness. Perhaps rationalization now that I think about it.

3) The band reminded me of

a) The old time "swing" bands of the 1950's

b) Woodstock in 1972. Hope I didn't get knocked up this time.

c) What older people do when they're really, really bored

4) The Food and Drink:

a) Were absolutely perfect

b) There was food? Sorry, my mind is hazy. Did someone get married? Was it me?

c) Are currently staining every piece of clothing I wore

5) The parking lot attendants...

a) Were diligent and energetic

b) Directed cars to Oregon

c) Were more confused than a blonde with a #2 pencil taking a urine test

6) The most memorable event at the wedding was:

a) The happy smiles on the bride and groom as they looked into each other's eyes and promised their lives to one another

b) The shout of "burn the cornstalks" as we huddled in the tent looking for warmth

c) Packing 300 people into what looked to be a four man tent

7) One wish for the couple would be:

a) Everlasting health and happiness

b) At least 6 months of never seeing any of us again

c) An award from the "Book of World Records" for "Most Stressed couple on planet"

8) I was most impressed with:

a) How smoothly everything ran

b) How Jocele did not kill George, even though a straw pole in the tent agreed it would have been justifiable and even entertaining

c) Hannah dancing with someone who did not even own a horse

9) The most surprising/unexpected decoration was:

a) The cornstalks/candied apples/hay bales that comprised the unique theme

b) The two ladies walking around who looked like very, very sick bears in their coats

c) The Ringling Brothers Circus tent. Didn't they miss it?

10) Finally, I would rate this wedding as:

a) One of the most memorable I've ever been to

b) Certainly better than G's last one

c) Between a 6 and 7. On the Richter scale