This is it! It’s the last episode! YAY!!!
Spirit makes an appearance in this episode, since the last Dragonfire energy spot happens to be in his neck of the woods (err…desert). Call me cynical, but doesn’t it seem strangely convenient that the most powerful of the Dragonfire energy spots just happens to be in the American Southwest?
The spot is located within Sorcerer’s Mesa which looks a lot like Devil’s Tower, which it was probably based off since both Joe universes like to use real-life counterparts. (Benzheen=Kuwait, fer example).
Spirit has sent his eagle, Freedom, to find the last of the Indian mystics they need to conjure up the Dragonfire energy. As an aside, I have to mention that for all the talk of the mystic powers of the ancients and all, the episodes aren’t as cloyingly New Age as you’d think they’d be. They’re certainly not as obnoxious on the subject as Captain Planet was.
Scoop tells Cobra to attack Joe Base Charlie-Delta first, then go after the Mesa. Which is exactly the opposite of what Cobra should have done but hey, that’s what you get for trusting a sneaky traitor now ain’t it?
Low Light is still in the jungle, whining about being disguised as a Cobra and having to use Cobra equipment to get himself out of the jungle as well as his failure to warn the Joes. Wahhhh.
Cobra Commander orders his men to attack the Joe base, taking time out to give us some exposition about how the Pythonized vehicles are hella l33t and kewl and how even though the odds are in Cobra’s favor they shouldn’t let their guard down! Too bad it’s not gonna help…
Scoop radios the Joes to try and pass on the information that Cobra’s attacking the wrong spot. He gets hold of Sarge and passes on the word, which makes Sarge happy but, FINALLY, he gets caught by the Alley Viper!
Scoop tries once again to talk his way out of the situation, trying to play on his friendship with the Alley Viper, but he only succeeds in giving us this little exchange:
Alley-Viper: “There are no friendships in Cobra!”
Scoop: “G.I. Joe is different. People try to help people, not destroy them!”
Gag Me. Not that I disagree with the sentiment, just…gahhhhhhh…does it have to be so damned cloying!? Do we have to fall back on the patently stupid idea that no one on the bad guy side can form anything resembling a friendship? I mean, never mind that Cobra would fall apart if the mass of it’s people couldn’t find some way to work together and trust each other. Never mind that even bad men can still feel an attachment to those they consider their friends. Never mind that Cobra is being show to trust Scoop, no, sorry kids only Joes can be friends.
So, since Scoop can’t talk the Alley Viper into surrendering he does the next best thing and whacks the other guy with a chair! He then ties up the Alley Viper and stuff him in a closet. (Insert cheap shot gay joke here)
This also leads to the next gag-inducing exchange:
Alley Viper: “You won’t get away with this!”
Scoop: “Maybe not but at least I’ll have tried to do the right thing!”
Again, it’s not that I don’t agree with the sentiments, it’s just that they’re said in such a way that my first impulse is to want to think the opposite. Kind of like my reaction to most of the anti-smoking ads out there. Nothing makes me want to take a big fat drag off a Marlboro than one of those smarmy “Truth” ads.
Cobra attacks the Joe base, which is empty since the Joes are mounting their main defense at the mesa. The Joes hit the Cobras back in order to defend the mesa and the Free World. (The Unfree World can go hang, apparently.)
Note to Cobra: Vehicles and planes that are invisible to radar really only work if the Joes can’t actually SEE them. I mean, sure that Pythonized Whoozits is really spiffy cool, but if I’m looking at it, I can probably hit it.
Luckily, the Indian Mystic arrives care of Indian Mystic Express (when you absolutely have to have an Indian Mystic there before Cobra shows up!) and the Joes are able to harness the Dragonfire energy and make it into a shield to protect the top of the mesa from Cobra. Once the energy is harnessed, the Joes use a synthesizer to replay the sound of the chanting. Lady Jaye makes an appearance as the only female Joe in this series, though she doesn’t get a speaking role.
Spirit radios Slaughter and tells him and the Joes to haul ass back to the mesa so the shield can protect them. Otherwise, they’ll be SOL if they’re caught on the outside.
Right before the Joe’s DF shield comes fully online, Destro notices that the Joes are defending the mesa and mentions this to Cobra Commander. The Commander chooses this moment to become overconfident, believing that Cobra’s gonna win ‘cause y’know, they’re due damnit!
Up goes the shield. Spirit muses that it would be nice if the Joes knew a way to make the Dragonfire energy fire back at the Cobras. Cobra uses their satelite Dragonfire One to fire the collective energies of the other three Dragonfire bases at the Mesa while Cobra Commander fumes.
Direct hit! Big Shiny Sparklies! But the shield is too strong and Cobra has to shut down the Dragonfire energy lest they destroy their own weapon. Luckily for Cobra, Destro has yet another plan: hook Cobra’s vehicles up to the power of the Dragonfire energy, then hit the mesa rather than the shield.
Meanwhile, Alley Viper is still bound and (badly) gagged in the closet.
What next follows is something that actually happened. I swear to you I am not making this exchange up:
Scoop goes to get the frequency that the Cobras are using to transfer the Dragonfire energy to the vehicles. Copperhead is working on the transfer since he’s head of Python Patrol.
Scoop: “Copperhead, what frequency are you using to transmit the Dragonfire energy to Python Patrol?”
Copperhead taps a few of those oversized cartoon computer buttons and the frequency pops up on the screen. “There, that’s it, but what’s it to you Scoop?”
Scoop: No reason, I just love to see the flashing numbers on the screen.” Camera shifts to show Scoop’s video camera pointing at the screen with the frequency on it.
Either Cobra needs to improve it's hiring practices or Scoop emitts stupid rays that affect everyone around him. Or effect everyone around him. One of the two.
Low Light shows up again and goes after Scoop, after seeing the damage that’s been done to the Joe base (see, he doesn’t know that this is a good thing since it’s basically bought the Joes the time they need to save the Free World).
The vehicles and the Dragonfire energy are merged and Cobra goes in for the kill! (Damn but they’re selling those Python Patrol toys in this one…)
Cobra goes after the Mesa, firing at the stone rather than at the shield since they can’t get through the shield because they’re not wearing kachinas that are tuned to the right frequency.
Kachinas, for those not in the know: “Ancestral spirit of the Pueblo Indians. There are more than 500 of these spirits, who act as intermediaries between humans and the gods. Each tribe has its own kachinas, which are believed to reside with a tribe for half of each year. They can be seen by the community if men properly perform a ritual while wearing kachina masks. The spirit depicted on the mask is thought to be actually present with the performer, temporarily transforming him. Kachinas are also represented by small wooden dolls, carved and decorated by the men of the tribe.” - source: Yahoo! Reference.
Note, nothing is said about the kachinas’ abilities to be tuned to correct frequencies. This must have been something that the Encyclopedia Britannica failed to mention.
The Joes retaliate and everybody fights! With the vehciles and the lasers and the explosions and it looks like Cobra is about to win! Which means we all know what’s going to happen next, now don’t we kids?
That’s right: Scoop gets the ultimate attack mode frequency from a Pythonized Tele-Viper and ends up sticking him in a closet too, along with the Alley Viper (cheap-shot gay jokes are left as an exercise for the student). He sits down to transmit this information to Sarge and Spirit.
Which is when Low Light shows up to stop that no-good traitor Scoop. He goes to the closet and lets the two vipers out and then realizes that Scoop can’t be a no-good nasty traitor to the Joes because he’s currently being a no-good nasty traitor to the Cobras! Low Light then goes to kick Cobra butt while Scoop Saves The Day (and luckily for Scoop and Low Light the two vipers made no move to try and either escape or warn the rest of Cobra during the three or four minutes while Low Light was figuring this out).
“Victory is ours!” says Cobra Commander. Which is a sure sign that no, no it isn’t.
“One more volly, then the Dragonfire energy will be ours!” says Destro as the Cobras are about to break through to the area where the Dragonfire energy has collected within the mesa…which is the second sign that Cobra is screwed.
Word of advice to future evil emperors out there: Victory isn’t yours until your foot is on the neck of your enemy and his head is in your hand. Announcing victory before it is assured makes you look really dumb when you fail. And you will fail ‘cause nobody likes a braggart.
The third sign that Cobra’s defeat is assured comes when Spirit punches in the frequencies received from Scoop and sends a big freakin’ wad of Dragonfire energy after the Cobras, taking out Dragonfire One and sending a backlash of Dragonfire energy to the other three bases. This effectively neutralizes Cobra’s vehicles
Once the frequencies are transmitted, Scoop goes to help Low Light defeat the two vipers who are both attacking the Joe rather than one distracting him while the other goes to warn the rest of Cobra. Because that would have been a move that made sense.
The Joes route Cobra, which we all knew would happen and Cobra Commander and Destro escape, like we knew they would. The Alley Viper gets away from Scoop and Low Light, threatening that he will have his revenge and that “Cobra has a long memory”. Which is a blatant lie, because if Cobra had a long memory they’d have known better than to have announced their victory before it was firmly in their grasp. And they’d have known to attack all four Dragonfire energy spots simultaneously rather than one per day since that gives the Joes time to figure out how to stop them. And they’d have probably not even bothered since every other time they’ve gone after the magic McGuffin Device they’ve gotten their asses handed to them. No, if Cobra had a long memory, they’d have disbanded years ago. Either that or gone back into pyramid schemes and household cleaning products. ‘Cause that’s where the money is.
So, the rest of the Cobra forces retreat and the Joes vow to go after Cobra wherever they are and we get some footage of Cobras being routed around the world while Scoop gives us a cloying voice over:
“And, you know, once Cobra lost use of their Dragonfire weapon, they just weren’t any match for my pals in G.I Joe…”
Scoop? Please die now. Pls? K. Thx!
Commentary: Okay, we made it through! On the whole, Operation: Dragonfire isn’t a bad intro to the DiC series. Unfortunately, a lot of what we’ll be seeing from here on in is going to be a major step down from this mini-series. But, in some ways the same can be said for the Sunbow episodes. The mini-series, all of them, had the advantage of having nearly two and a half hours to tell a story as opposed to thirty minutes (or, at the most, sixty for two-parters). There’s more time to set things up, more time to give a nod to character development and more time for there to be a coherent story.
The main thing I dislike about these episodes is the dumbing down of so much of the conflict between GI Joe and Cobra. Yes, in the Sunbow episodes it was damn clear that the Joes were the good guys and Cobra was the bad guys but the Cobras still had a few redeeming features. We had Zarana falling for Mainframe and the conflict it caused her character. Destro and the Baroness assisting the Joes on a few occasions in order to screw over Cobra Commander and protect their own asses (okay, so maybe that’s not redeeming so much as it is at least interesting to see in a kids show from the 80s). It was nice to see the backstabbing within Cobra, since it makes sense that any evil organization is going to have its share of selfish gits out for Numero Uno.
But it’s pretty damn irritating to having the Joes spouting lines about “Every life is worth saving” or “The Joes try to help people rather than destroy them.” Those sorts of philosophies are best used when they’re displayed rather than overtly stated.
And the bits about their being no friendships in Cobra, while most likely accurate, still fail to convince me of anything other than Hasbro didn’t want to get letters from parents complaining that they’re teaching kids to want to be terrorists when they grew up. Sure, we saw some of this sort of moralizing in the Sunbow series, but it was infrequent and, by and large, handled better. And when it wasn’t handled better, it was just as cheesy as anything that showed up in DiC.
There’s not much else I can say here that I haven’t said in the summaries of the other four episodes. Suffice to say that when it was good, DiC rivaled Sunbow and when it was bad…well, you’ll see.
Thanks for reading,
Kathy