2. Crispy Crunch, & Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our football fields, & 1 less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass
10. Tim Horton's kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the War of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed them back...towards their White House. Then we burned it & most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane & hammered all the time. We got bored 'cuz they ran away, so we came home & partied. Gotta love history!
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted no more than 1 hour.
15. The only person who was arrested during our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept through most of the fighting, but woke up in time to get caught! Go figure.
16. We knew plaid was cool before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudson's Bay Company owned over 10% of the Earth's surface, & is still the world's oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill & devour a full grown human in less than 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.**
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone, & short wave radios that save thousands of lives every year.
22. We all have frozen our tongues to something metal & lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian created Superman.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT.....
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
One day Michael the Archangel, asked God: "What is that O Lord?" God replied: "That is a planet that I have created Michael, it shall be called 'Earth', a place of balance." "Balance?" asked Michael. "Yes", replied God. For example, one part of the world shall be rich, while the other shall be poor. Or take that lovely little country I created. It is called, 'Canada'. I have placed beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers & an exquisite coastline in this land. The people that live there are to be modest, intelligent & humourous. They'll be high achieving, sociable & to be known as carriers of peace. But that's not all. I have also given them super-powered ice hockey players that will be feared throughout this world." Michael gasped in wonder & admiration, but then asked: "But what about balance Lord?" God replied wisely: "Wait until you see the loud-mouthed bastards I put next to them!"
O PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!!
