Type Two - The Helper
Profile by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson - The Enneagram Institute
The Caring, Nurturing Type: Concerned, Generous, Possessive, Manipulative
Basic Fear: Of being unwanted,
unworthy of being loved
Basic Desire: To be loved unconditionally
The Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
The Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"
Potential Neuroses: Histrionic, Self-Defeating, and Factitious
Disorder.
Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.
Healthy
Empathetic, compassionate, feeling with and for others. Caring
and concerned about their needs.Thoughtful, warm-hearted,
forgiving and sincere. Encouraging and appreciative, able to see
the good in others. Service is important: they are nurturing,
generous, and givinga truly loving person. At Their Best: Become
deeply unselfish, humble, "disinterested", and
altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it
is a privilege to be in their lives of others.
Average
Want to be closer to others, so start "people
pleasing", becoming overly friendly, emotionally
demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about
everything. Give seductive attention: approval,
"strokes," flattery. Love their supreme value, and they
talk about it constantly. Become overly intimate and intrusive:
they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the
name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a
return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the
self-sacrificial, mothering person who cannot do enough for
others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs
for themselves to fulfill. Increasingly self-important and
self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they
overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming
a martyr for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.
Unhealthy
Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling
others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food
and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy.
Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks.
Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive
and/or selfish their behavior is. Domineering and coercive: feel
entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of
old debts, money, sexual favors. Able to excuse and rationalize
what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and
are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their
aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate
themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others.
Wings by Thomas Condon - The Changeworks
Two With a 1 Wing
This wing brings conscience and emotional containment to the
basic Two style. When healthy, they act from general principles
about the value of serving others. Ethics come before pride. May
hold themselves to high standards. More discreet and respectful
of other people's boundaries. When upset, tend to go quiet and
experience strong emotions internally. More melancholy than Twos
with a 3 wing. When less healthy and entranced, tend to confuse
their sense of mission with self-centered needs. Go blind to
their own motives; invade and dominate others. Believe their
actions are perfectly justified by their ethic of helping. May
repress their personal desires and focus on others as a way to
avoid guilty dilemma between the rules and their inner needs. If
really blind they will warp their ethics crazily to justify
personal selfishness and prideful hostility.
Two With a 3 Wing
This wing brings Twos an extra measure of sociability and the
capacity to make things happen. When healthy, can be charming,
good-natured and heartfelt. Really get things done, serve
effectively on projects that involve the well-being of others.
Thrive on group process and are generally good communicators.
Enjoy keeping several threads or projects going at once.
Entranced Twos with a 3 wing can be quite emotionally competitive
and controlling. 3 wing brings a double dose of vanity. Strong
tendency to live in one's images. May grow brazenly deluded,
preferring their glamorous, self-important scenarios to reality.
Tendencies to deceit and emotional calculation. Highly
manipulative. This wing is also more extroverted; dramatization
of feeling in the form of hysterical snit-fits is far more
possible.
Instinctual Variants by Thomas Condon - The Changeworks
Self-Preservation
Self-preservation Twos often harbor a striking sense of
entitlement. May act superior to others and expect preferential
treatment that reinforces their pride. Can seem shameless in
their expectation of pampering. Behind this attitude is a logic
that says, "I give and do so much for others, I deserve to
be treated as someone special." Like an unconscious
collection of fees for sacrifices made. Others who encounter this
attitude are often amazed at a self-preservation Two's self-
importance and diva-like behavior. Real-life people with this
subtype often have a 3 wing. Dip easily to the low side of 8 when
angry.
Intimate
Tend to act seductive and aggressive by turns. Basic interest is
in finding romantic union. Generally confuse sexual desirability
with being loved and valued. Act receptively interested in
others, use inviting touches. May ooze some combination of charm
and sexuality. When they encounter resistance will begin to push
and challenge. Try to find a way around the other's objection.
May go militant and angrily blame (connection to 8). Behind these
flare-ups is a melancholy desire for total enmeshed connectedness
to another. Yearning is related to the low side of 4.
Social
Twos with this subtype are notable for their ambition,
particularly to be publicly recognized as someone special. Seek
attention either directly from their own efforts or via
affiliation with powerful people. In the former scenario, a Two
works to draw an audience through socially useful works or some
kind of performing. Confuse being noticed with being loved. Can
sometimes act provocative or obnoxious as this is better than
being ignored. Might also marry someone influential and
concentrate their energies on the spouse's ambitions. Can groom
their children to become achievers. Stage mothers and political
spouses are possible roles. Often have a 3 wing but a 1 wing is
possible.