Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40 years old. 22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never, ever thought I would be 40 years old. 

The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one thing, when a 40 year old geeser spoke at my baccalaureate ceremony,?  He was about the last person I'd believe. I have no intention of giving you the boring speech that you are dreading. This speech will be short, sweet, and not boring. 

I am going to talk about hindsights today. Hindsights that I've accumulated in the 20 years from where you are to where I am.  Don't blindly believe me.     Don't take what I say as "truth." Just listen.  Perhaps my experience can help you out a tiny bit. 

I will present them ala David Letterman. Yes, 40-year old people can  still stay up past 11. 

#10:  Live off your parents as long as possible. 
        When I spoke at this ceremony two years ago, this was the most popular 
         hindsight-except from the point of view of the parents. Thus, I knew I was on 
         the right track. 

         I was a diligent Oriental in high school and college. I took college-level classes 
         and earned college-level credits. I rushed through college in 3 1/2 years. I 
         never traveled or took time off because I thought it wouldn't prepare me for 
         work and it would delay my graduation. Frankly, I blew it. 

         You are going to work the rest of your lives, so don't be in a rush to start. 
         Stretch out your college education. Now is the time to suck life into your 
         lungs - before you have a mortgage, kids, and car payments. Take whole 
         semester off to travel overseas. Take jobs and internships that pay less money 
         or no money. Investigate your passions on your parent's nickel. Or dime. Or 
         quarter. Or dollar. Your goal should be to extend college to at least six years. 

         Delay, as long as possible, the inevitable entry into the workplace and a 
         lifetime of servitude to bozos who know less than you do, but who make 
         more money. Also, you shouldn't deprive your parents of the pleasure of 
         supporting you. 

#9:    Pursue joy, not happiness. 
         This is probably the hardest lesson of all to learn.  It  probably seems to you 
         that the goal in life is to be "happy."  Oh, you maybe have to sacrifice and 
         study and work hard, but,  by and large, happiness should be predictable. 

          Nice house. Nice car. Nice material things.  Take my word for it, happiness 
          is temporary and fleeting. Joy, by contrast, is unpredictable. It comes from 
          pursuing  interests and passions that do not obviously result in happiness. 

          Pursuing joy, not happiness will translate into one thing over the next few 
          years for you: Study what you love. This may also not be popular with 
          parents. When I went to college, I was "marketing driven." It's also an 
         Oriental thing. I looked at what fields had the greatest job opportunities and 
          prepared myself for them. This was brain dead. There are so many ways 
          to make a living in the world, it doesn't matter that you've taken all the "right" 
          courses. I don't think one person on the original Macintosh team had a classic 
          "computer science" degree. 

         You parents have a responsibility in this area. Don't force your kids to follow 
          in your footsteps or to live your dreams. My father was a senator in Hawaii. 
          His dream was to be a lawyer, but he only had a high school education. He 
          wanted me to be a lawyer.  For him, I went to law school. For me, I quit after 
          two weeks.  I view this a terrific validation of my inherent intelligence. 

#8:  Challenge the known and embrace the unknown. 
        One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to accept the known and 
        resist the unknown. You should, in fact, do exactly the opposite: challenge the 
        known and embrace the unknown. 

        Let me tell you a short story about ice. In the late 1800s there was a thriving 
        ice industry in the Northeast. Companies would cut blocks of ice from frozen 
        lakes and ponds and sell them around the world.  The largest single shipment 
        was 200 tons that was shipped to India. 100 tons got there unmelted, but this 
        was enough to make a profit. 

        These ice harvesters, however, were put out of business by companies that 
        invented mechanical ice makers. It was no longer necessary to cut and ship ice 
        because companies could make it in any city during any season. 

        These ice makers, however, were put out of business by refrigerator 
        companies. If it was convenient to make ice at a manufacturing plant, imagine 
        how much better it was to make ice and create cold storage in everyone's 
        home. 

        You would think that the ice harvesters would see the advantages of ice 
        making and adopt this technology. However, all they could think about was 
        the known: better saws, better storage, better transportation. 

        Then you would think that the ice makers would see the advantages of 
        refrigerators and adopt this technology. The truth is that the ice harvesters 
        couldn't embrace the unknown and jump their curve to the next curve. 

        Challenge the known and embrace the unknown, or you'll be like the ice 
        harvester and ice makers. 

#7:  Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play 
       non-contact sports. 
       Learn a foreign language. I studied Latin in high school because I thought it 
       would help me increase my vocabulary. It did, but trust me when I tell you it's 
       very difficult to have a conversation in Latin today other than at the Vatican. 
       And despite all my efforts, the Pope has yet to call for my advice. 

       Learn to play a musical instrument. My only connection to  music today is that I 
      was named after Guy Lombardo. Trust me:  it's better than being named after 
      Guy's brother, Carmen. Playing a musical instrument could be with me now and 
      stay with me forever. Instead, I have to buy CDs at Tower. 

       I played football. I loved football. Football is macho. I was a middle linebacker 
       arguably, one of the most macho positions in a macho game. But you should 
       also learn to play a non-contact sport like basketball or tennis. That is, a sport 
       you can play when you're over the hill. 

       It will be as difficult when you're 40 to get twenty two guys  together in a 
       stadium to play football as it is to have a conversation in Latin, but all the people 
       who wore cute, white tennis outfits can still play tennis. And all the macho 
       football players are sitting around watching television and drinking beer. 

#6:  Continue to learn. 
        Learning is a process not an event. I thought learning would be over when I got 
        my degree. It's not true. You should never stop learning. Indeed, it gets easier 
        to learn once you're out of school because it's easier to see the relevance of 
        why you need to learn. 

       You're learning in a structured, dedicated environment right now. On your 
        parent's nickel. But don't confuse school and learning. You can go to school 
       and not learn a thing. You can also learn a tremendous amount without school. 

#5:  Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself. 
       I know a forty year old woman who was a drug addict. She is a mother of 
       three. She traced the start of her drug addiction to smoking dope in high school. 

       I'm not going to lecture you about not taking drugs. Hey, I smoked dope in high 
       school. Unlike Bill Clinton, I inhaled. Also unlike Bill Clinton, I exhaled. 

       This woman told me that she started taking drugs because she hated herself 
       when she was sober. She did not like drugs so much as much as she hated 
       herself.  Drugs were not the cause though she thought they were the solution. 

        She turned her life around only after she realized that she was in a downward 
        spiral. Fix your problem. Fix your life. Then you won't need to take drugs. 
        Drugs are neither the solution nor the problem. 

        Frankly, smoking, drugs, alcohol--and using an IBM PC--are signs of stupidity. 
        End of discussion. 

#4:  Don't get married too soon. 
        I got married when I was 32. That's about the right age. Until you're about that 
        age, you may not know who you are. You also may not know who you're 
        marrying. 

        I don't know one person who got married too late. I know many people who 
        got married too young. If you do decide to get married, just keep in mind that 
        you need to accept the person for what he or she is right now. 

#3:  Play to win and win to play. 
        Playing to win is one of the finest things you can do. It enables you to fulfill your 
        potential. It enables you to improve the world and, conveniently, develop high 
        expectations for everyone else too. 

        And what if you lose? Just make sure you lose while trying somethin grand. 
        Avinash Dixit, an economics professor at Princeton, and Barry Nalebuff, an 
        economics and management professor at the Yale School of Organization and 
        Management, say it this way: 

        "If you are going to fail, you might as well fail at a difficult task.  Failure causes 
         others to downgrade their expectations of you in the future.   The seriousness 
         of this problem depends on what you attempt." 

        In its purest form, winning becomes a means, not an end, to improve yourself 
        and your competition.  Winning is also a means to play again. The unexamined 
        life may not be worth living, but the unlived life is not worth examining. The 
        rewards of winning--money, power, satisfaction, and self-confidence--should 
        not be squandered. 

        Thus, in addition to playing to win, you have a second, more important 
        obligation: To compete again to the depth and breadth and height that your soul 
        can reach. Ultimately, your greatest competition is yourself. 

#2:  Obey the absolutes. 
        Playing to win, however, does not mean playing dirty. As you grow older and 
        older, you will find that things change from absolute to relative. When you were 
        very young, it was absolutely wrong to lie, cheat, or steal. 

        As you get older, and particularly when you enter the workforce, you will be 
        tempted by the "system" to think in relative terms. "I made more money." "I 
        have a nicer car." "I went on a better vacation." 

        Worse, "I didn't cheat as much on my taxes as my partner." "I  just have a few 
        drinks. I don't take cocaine." "I don't pad my expense reports as much as 
        others." 

        This is completely wrong. Preserve and obey the absolutes as much as you 
        can.   If you never lie, cheat, or steal, you will never have to remember who 
        you lied to, how you cheated, and what you stole. There absolutely are 
        absolute rights and wrongs. 

#1:  Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone. 
        This is the most important hindsight. It doesn't need much explanation. I'll just 
        repeat it: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone. 

        Nothing-not money, power, or fame-can replace your family and friends or 
        bring them back once they are gone. Our greatest joy has been our baby, and I 
        predict that children will bring you the greatest joy in your lives--especially if 
        they graduate from college in four years. 

        And now, I'm going to give you one extra hindsight because I've probably cost 
        your parents thousands of dollars today.  It's something that I hate to admit to. 

        By and large, the older you get, the more you're going to realize that your 
        parents were right. More and more-until finally, you become your parents. I 
        know you're all saying, "Yeah, right." Mark my words. 

        Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you helps just one of you, 
        this speech will have been a success.