Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Quatre-Chan style: GW Edition

By: Quatre Raberba Winner

(Warning: PWP. Plot? What plot? We don’t need no stinkin’ plot! and Yaoi)

*Music plays and camera pans to Regis and Quatre-Chan*

Regis: "For those just tuning in, this young person is on her way to win one million dollars." *looks at Quatre-Chan* "What is it that you do anyway?"

Quatre-Chan: "I’m a writer. I write fanfiction for GW and I love WuFei Chang.. ."

Regis: *sweat drops* "Okay.. . Well here’s the million dollar question." *question appears on the computer screen* "Who is stronger than the Lord of Nightmares? Is it; A: Xellos, B: Phebrizo, C: Zelgadiss, or D: Valgov?"

Quatre-Chan: "Hmm.. . I don’t think its C or D. But can’t be too sure, so I would like to phone a friend."

Regis: "Who would you like to call?"

Quatre-Chan: "Hee-Chan, she’s a writer too!"

Regis: "Oh great.. . well let’s get her on the line."

*Ring, ring, ring*

Hee-Chan: "Hello?"

Regis: "Hee-Chan?"

Hee-Chan: "Shut up Regis! What’s the question Quatre-Chan?"

Quatre-Chan: *reads questions and the four possible answers* "What’s the answer? I think it’s Xellos, but I’m not too sure.. ."

Hee-Chan: "It’s Xellos, trust me."

Quatre-Chan: "The last time I trusted you I ended up drinking sour milk!"

Hee-Chan: "Sorry about that, but A is the right answer."

Quatre-Chan: *hangs up with her chibi neko friend and looks at Regis* "A: Xellos, final answer."

Regis: "Sorry it was D."

Quatre-Chan: "That’s a loud of shit! Ask him your self!"

Regis: "Xellos, are you stronger than L sama?"

Xellos: "Well now that is a secret.. ."

Quatre-Chan: "Zelgadiss, tell him I’m right!"

Zelgadiss: "Hn."

Quatre-Chan: "That’s Heero’s line!" *sighs* "Gourry, tell him that’s the right answer.. ."

Gourry: *floats in front of the camera dressed like the jellyfish* "Oh yeah, I could really get into this.. ."

Regis: "Well I’m sorry, but you need to take the 32,000 and leave."

Quatre-Chan: *gets out of the hot seat and holds out her hand* "You suck!" *turns Regis into a talking toucan toy, then she picks it up and kicks it off stage and then wipes her hands of the evil host* "Damn bird!"

Duo: "Now who’s going to be the host?"

Quatre-Chan: *smiles* "Well, come on Duo, lets play Who Wants to be a Millionaire?!"

Duo and Quatre-Chan: *take their seats*

Quatre-Chan: "Alight Duo, for one million dollars; Is that your real hair color? Is it A: yes, B: no, C: maybe, or D: ‘well now that is a secret.. .’?"

Duo: "Aren’t there 14 questions before this?"

Quatre-Chan: "Not in my version and you only get the phone a friend."

Duo: "Well I’d like to use that. I want to call Heero."

Quatre-Chan: "K! Call Heero Yuy, AT&T!"

*Ring, ring, ring*

Heero: *picks up his PHS from where he’s sitting with the other contestants* "Yeah."

Duo: "Heero, what should I say for my answer?"

Heero: "You know what to say."

Duo: *gasps* "Heero Yuy, this is public television!"

Heero: "I didn’t mean that!" *hangs up*

Duo: "My answer is.. ." *clears his throat* "Well now that is a secret.. ."

Quatre-Chan: "Yea! You won the million!!!!!"

Duo: *takes the check and goes into the audience*

Quatre-Chan: "Trowa, it’s your turn to play; Who Wants to be a Millionaire?!"

Trowa: *sits in the hot seat*

Quatre-Chan: "Okay Trowa, your question for the million is; where is Quatre’s favorite spot to do it with you? Is it A: on top of the washing machine, B: the backseat of the car, C: out in the garden, or D: all of the above?"

Trowa: *blushes* "I want to call Quatre."

Quatre-Chan: "AT&T do your stuff."

*Ring, ring, ring*

Quatre: *picks up from his house* "Hello?" *sneezes*

Quatre-Chan: "Gomen Quatre-Sama, but Trowa has a question for you and I hope you get over your cold."

Quatre: "Thanks, what’s the question Trowa?"

Trowa: "Where’s your favorite spot to do it?"

Quatre: "The garden. No wait, the backseat of the car. No, on top of the washing machine.. . Oh I like them all!" *coughs*

Trowa: "That’s all I needed to know. Feel better angel." *hangs up* "D."

Quatre-Chan: "Yea! You won the million you don’t need!" *claps*

Trowa: *takes the check and goes into the audience and sits next to Duo*

Quatre-Chan: "Heero you’re up. Lets play; Who Wants to be a Millionaire?!"

Heero: *sits in the hot seat*

Quatre-Chan: "For one million, what is Duo’s best feature? Is it; A: his eyes, B: his braid, C: his butt or D: his personality?"

Heero: "..."

Quatre-Chan: "You can use your lifeline."

Heero: "Call Duo."

Quatre-Chan: "You heard him AT&T."

*Ring, ring, ring*

Duo: *answers his PHS* "Shinigami speaking."

Heero: "What’s the best thing about you?"

Duo: *in a southern, feminine voice* "Why lover, I do believe it’s my long and beautiful braid!"

Heero: *hangs up* "Braid."

Quatre-Chan: "You smart man. You got it right!"

Heero: *takes the check and goes to sit with the others in the audience*

Quatre-Chan: "You’re the last one, Wu-Chan, so let’s play!"

WuFei: *sits in the hot seat*

Quatre-Chan: "Your question for the million is; who’s the best in the universe? Is it A: Milly, B: Amelia, C: Cloud, or D: me?"

WuFei: "I want to call Nataku.. ."

Quatre-Chan: *looks wounded* "Get Nataku on the line.. ." *sniff*

*Ring, ring, ring*

Nataku’s answering machine: "Sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. I’m preparing to step on Quatre-Chan. Please leave a message after her scream.. ."

WuFei: *blink, blink*

*A loud stomping sound could be heard and a giant foot appears overhead*

Quatre-Chan: *screams and runs off the set* "See you next time on: Who Wants to be a Millionaire?!"

WuFei: *looks in the direction the chibi writer ran off in* "I think you’re the best in the universe, Quatre-Chan.. ."

Studio audience and television audience: "Aaaawwww!!!!"

WuFei: "SHUT UP!!!!!!"

The End

Quatre-Chan: "Yeah, I know that was pointless."

G-boys: *nod*

Quatre: "Thanks for not making me do much.. ." *sneezes*

Trowa: *hugs him*

Quatre-Chan: "The only reason I wrote this was so I would have an excuse to kick Regis." *looks at WuFei* "Thanks for what you said.. ."

WuFei: "Well, it’s true."

Duo: *gags*

Quatre-Chan: *sticks her tongue out at Duo* "Just for that you have to do the disclaimer!"

Duo: "Fine.. . SHE OWNS NOTHING!!!!!!!!"

Quatre: "Aww.. . that hurt my head.. ." *sneezes again*

Trowa: "You’ll be okay."

Heero: "Not that you would on this fic, but send her feed back at quatre_chan5@hotmail.com."

Quatre-Chan: *waves* "We’ll see you next time on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?!’" *thinks about what she just said* "I mean on ‘The Gundam Broadcasting Network'!"