Who Wants to be a Millionaire?! Final Fantasy Edition

By: Quatre Raberba Winner (Quatre-Chan/Onna-Quatre)

(*****Yet another millionaire, however this one has a special twist. There are "secrets" to game play so keep an eye out. Email me at quatre_chan5@hotmail.com if you have any questions.*****)

*Music plays and camera pans over to the chibi dragon sitting in the host's seat.*

Quatre-Chan: "Hello once again everyone and this is Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Tonight we have party members from the different Final Fantasy games. And believe me when I tell you that it was difficult to get the money. I mean we had to convert the dollars into gil and gold. Anyway the first person in the hot seat is White Knight Cecil from FF4. Okay Cecil are you ready to play for a million gold?"

Cecil: "Yes."

Quatre-Chan: "A man of few words. Okay, your question is, who is the fifth person that would be good to take when you go after Bahamut? Is it; A: FuSoYa B: Kain C: Yang or D: Tellah?"

Cecil: *Thinks* "Well it most certainly wasn't Tellah seeing that he died before we made it to the moon and Yang was injured at the time and being taken care of by the sylphs."

Quatre-Chan: "So you're saying it was either Kain or FuSoYa."

Cecil: "Hm.. ."

Quatre-Chan: "You can always use your phone-a-friend."

Cecil: "Phone-a-friend?"

Quatre-Chan: "I forgot, you don't know what a phone is. Just pick an answer."

Cecil: "A."

Quatre-Chan: "Well done Paladin, you just won a million gold!"

Cecil: *Takes the bag of money and walks to the audience.*

Quatre-Chan: "When going after Bahamut it's a good idea to, 1: build until you feel you can survive the cave. 2: Have a good supply of Moon Veils. The puddings drop them outside of the cave plus there are some enemies that drop them within as well. 3: When facing the great dragon have Rosa and FuSoYa cast Wall on themselves, Edge and Cecil should use Moon Veils and if one of either group should power up have them do the same to Rydia. Then Cecil should attack, have Edge throw stuff (if you have copies of the Excaliber laying around use that) and Rydia should cast Flare. With any luck you should be able to get Bahamut. *Looks at the panel* "Come on Bartz. Let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

Bartz: *Sits in the hot seat*

Quatre-Chan: "Are you ready?"

Bartz: "I'm ready for anything. I'm an adventurer after all."

Quatre-Chan: "Very well. Here is your question. How do you defeat Gogo? A: Summon as much as you can B: Run away C: Think of a REAL good plan or D: Do nothing?"

Bartz: *Thinks* "I know for a fact that it's not running away. I would never let my friends run from a challenge and summoning would just make that way too easy. But the others.. ."

Quatre-Chan: "If you're having trouble you can use your phone-a-friend."

Bartz: "What's that?"

Quatre-Chan: *Sighs* "I'm sure they'll invent the phone in your game eventually.. ."

Bartz: "Well if my memory serves me correctly I believe we just stood there."

Quatre-Chan: "Is that your answer? Because there aren't any save points around. If you're wrong.. ."

Bartz: "Yeah, I can deal."

Quatre-Chan: *Holds out a bag of gold* "Take the money."

Bartz: "Am I right?"

Quatre-Chan: "If I'm giving you the gold then yes."

Bartz: *Takes the bag and sits next to Cecil in the audience.*

Quatre-Chan: "Sheesh. All right, kiddies. When you fight Gogo in FF5 you are in an underwater cavern. There is a timer and you have to make it to and defeat him before the time runs out. However the beauty of this fight is that you don't do a thing. Wait till a message at the top appears and he says that you have defeated him. At the beginning of the fight he'll tell you that the only way to beat him is by copying everything he does. Fear not, if you attacked him just make sure you have someone as a Time Mage and cast Return. It will reset the entire battle along with the counter." *Looks at Setzer* "Come on Setzer. Let's play!"

Setzer: *Sits in the hot seat, tossing his dice in the air.*

Quatre-Chan: "You're the perfect person from FF6 to be here. Seeing that you are a traveling gambler."

Setzer: "Of course. All the stakes have been raised and it's your call. Show me what you've got."

Quatre-Chan: *Mumbles* "I think someone needs to go to a gambling support group after this.. ." *Smiles and talks out loud* "All right then your question is; What is the fastest way to build levels before the World of Ruin? Is it; A: Use a cheat device B: Take fewer party members C: Build Celes up to level 99 before the Floating Continent or D: Fight in the same spot until you wanna blow your brains out?"

Setzer: "Well I'd have to say that they are all correct, but I take it we looking for YOUR opinion."

Quatre-Chan: "And if you had bet money on that you would have been right."

Setzer: "Then the answer is C."

Quatre-Chan: "You are sure you don't want to phone someone?"

Setzer: "What's a phone?"

Quatre-Chan: *Puts her head on the monitor in front of her* "Take the bag of money.. ."

Setzer: "Walks into the audience with the money held proudly in his hand*

Quatre-Chan: *Brings head up and giggles* "That technically was a trick question. You could use a cheat device such as a Game Shark, but you risk corrupting your file. In FF6 taking fewer party members would give you a tad bit more of EXP. And of course running around is healthy, but it does get tedious. However this little trick is time consuming, but well worth it. If you just have Celes in your party and find a nice place to fight and get her to level 99 BEFORE the World of Ruin, when you get everyone back in your party, plus the two secret characters they will all be level 99." *Counts on her fingers and lands on the number seven* "Hey Cloud you're up! Let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire!"

Cloud: *Moseys over to the hot seat and sits. He grins at the host* "Hey I know you!"

Quatre-Chan: *Enthusiastically, yet sarcastic* "Yes."

Cloud: "Is WuFei still mad?"

Quatre-Chan: "Yep."

Cloud: *Puts two thumbs up, still grinning like a moron* "Peachy."

Quatre-Chan: "Are you ready to play for a million gil?"

Cloud: "Sure, why not."

Quatre-Chan: "K. Your question will be this. Who killed Aeris? Was it; A: You B: Sephiroth C: Hojo or D: Bob the man who once had hair?"

Cloud: "Was Bob even is my game?"

Quatre-Chan: "You tell me."

Cloud: "I'm going to use the PHS and call Aeris." *Pulls out a cell phone and dials*

Quatre-Chan: "It's a miracle minna!" *Points to Cloud* "Someone actually knows what a phone is!"

Audience: *Claps and cheers*

Cloud: *Turns his head* "Shhhh. I'm on the phone."

Aeris: *Picks up* "Hello?"

Cloud: "Aeris I need your help. I'm playing this game where I can win money, but I don't know the answer to the question."

Aeris: "What the question?"

Cloud: "Who killed you?"

Aeris: "I'm dead?"

Cloud: *Pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at it oddly.* "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Throws the phone in the air and runs off in fear*

Aeris: "Cloud? Cloud?"

Quatre-Chan: *Gets out of the chair and picks up the phone* "I think he had another mental breakdown. He'll call you back in about a month or so." *Hangs up and sits back down* "Somehow he was much braver and smarter within the game.. . Anyway we are on the eighth of the Final Fantasy games so that means Laguna, You're up."

Laguna: *Approaches and sits down*

Quatre-Chan: "Thanks for coming with your busy schedule and all."

Laguna: "No problem. I am happy to do it."

Quatre-Chan: *Smiles* Well here comes your question for a million gil that I'm sure you have no use for. How do you defeat the creatures on the Ragnarock when you only have Squall and Rinoa? Do you; A: Attack them as you see them B: Avoid them and hope story will open an airlock C: Sing a song like 'Eyes on Me' and pray that they get annoyed and leave or D: Fight them by color?"

Laguna: "Hm.. . That's a tough one, seeing that I wasn't in space with them. I'm going to have to call Squall."

Quatre-Chan: "Wow two out of five of them knew what a phone was." *Hands him the PHS* "Use this."

Laguna: "Doesn't that belong to Cloud?"

Quatre-Chan: "Eh, he won't miss his minutes."

Laguna: *Takes the phone and calls Squall*

Squall: "What?"

Laguna: "Nice greeting. I have a question for you."

Squall: "I'm kind of in the middle of a SeeD briefing."

Laguna: "This won't take long. How did you beat the monsters on the space craft?"

Squall: "I don't know. Color?" *Sighs* "I have to go.*

*Click*

Laguna: "Well then. I'll say color."

Quatre-Chan: "Then I'll say you're right." *Hands him a check*

Laguna: *Goes to sit with the others*

Quatre-Chan: "When fighting the creatures on the Ragnarock you must always defeat them by color. Red with red, yellow with yellow, ect. If you don't they will not go away. If you start doing in the correct way and hit a different color than you meant to the monsters will reappear. You have been warned. Only two games left so Zidane let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire!"

Zidane: *Struts over and sits*

Quatre-Chan: "Another famous RPG gambler, so Zidane here is your question. Not counting you, who should be in the party when you go up against Ozma? Are they; A: Eiko, Quina and Freya B: Amarant, Garnet and Eiko C: Steiner, Vivi and Garnet or D: Quina, Vivi and Amarant?"

Zidane: "That's a hard choice. But like you said to the other gambler we have to choose your opinion. So I am ruling out anything with Quina. Having two healers would be a good idea, but you might want to make the battle fast so I'm saying C is the best answer suited to you."

Quatre-Chan: *Holds out a bag of gil* "And you would be very right, my rat-tailed friend."

Zidane: *Smirks to the camera, takes the money and walks into the audience*

Quatre-Chan: "The party of Zidane, Vivi, Garnet and Steiner is the one I had used to defeat that royal plain in the ass Ozma. Using this party be sure you have Zidane near trance and equipped with the Ultima Weapon, Steiner should have at least the Ragnarock and Vivi and Garnet should just remain spell casters. Also make sure you have all status protection equipped and if any points left over put on Auto-Life and Auto-Haste. Be warned Ozma will cast Dooms Day on everyone and it usually kills you in one hit. But if you have a fair chance, have Zidane attack unless he trances then have him use Grand Lethal. Steiner should use his Shock ability. Vivi should cast Flare, don't use focus for it will waste a round in this particular battle and Garnet should remain on healing. If I'm not mistaken I think I had everyone with Float cast on them so try that too. Now the last person we have for you is Tidus from Final Fantasy X. Come on up!"

Tidus: *Sits in the hot seat*

Quatre-Chan: "It's good to have such a role model here. Give a hand to the star player of the Zanarkand Abes!"

Audience: *Claps and cheers*

Quatre-Chan: "So what are you playing for? Gil or gold?"

Tidus: "Gil."

Quatre-Chan: "Very well. How do you get Lulu's sigil? Is it; A: Capturing monsters B: Have Lulu flash someone C: Call the Magus Sisters and have them beat the carp out of someone until they give it up or D: Dodge 200 consecutive blots of lightning on the Thunder Plains?"

Tidus: *Chuckles* "I'm sure B and C would very effective, but I know that they would never do such a thing so no. Capturing the monsters for the guy in the Calm Lands I'm sure is for Auron so D would have to be the correct answer."

Quatre-Chan: "Very good.. . For a newbie."

Tidus: *Gets up and leaves*

Quatre-Chan: "Well that's the end of our show, I'll see you-"

Firestone: "Hold it right there, chibi ryu."

Quatre-Chan: *Looks over to see one of her fellow author* "Nani?"

Firestone: *Stops next to the chair and looks her in the eye* "You do realize you're being a tad bit.. . I don't know.. . sexist."

Quatre-Chan: "What are you talking about? I'm a woman."

Firestone: *Thinks* "Sure. But you don't have any bishojo on the show."

Quatre-Chan: "Are you saying I'm not cute?"

Firestone: "I'm saying no, you are. I meant like Lina Inverse, Yanoe or even Ririn."

Quatre-Chan: "But I had Meg Ryan on the show." *Points to Tidus*

Firestone: "No, that is just a dreamed up Blitz Ball player."

Quatre-Chan: *Pouts and touches index fingers together and squeaks* "But I like the bishounen.. ."

Firestone: "I'm sure you do, but I like the bishojo."

Quatre-Chan: "But you killed WuFei!"

Firestone: "What?! How could I? He's over there." *Points to the Chinese pilot standing next to the entrance from back stage*

Quatre-Chan: *Sighs* "Okay.. . You win." *Looks at the camera* "Tune in next week when I do my 'Special Just For Firestone Bishojo Edition'. Ja ne!"

The End

(*****I don't own any of the Final Fantasy games, they belong to Squaresoft. And Firestone happens to be a real good friend of mine. He wanted me to put him in a millionaire fic and tell me to bring in bishojo.. . so I did. I will write the next one as soon as I can. Until then, ja ne!*****)