no, really. THE. END.
Holy Cow.
I was walking across campus today. For the last time as a student. My campus. I was struck by an overwhelming sadness, so I called my shrink - Mom - and lamented. I told her I was so sad I could throw up. And it's the truth.
College is not just about getting a degree. Don't get me wrong - that's definitely important, and I've learned so much. I learned stuff I didn't know I didn't know. I have been enlightened and educated and tempered by some of the best minds in academia. But that's not what it's all about.
College is - to most people I've talked to - one of the most fun times in people's lives. For the first time we're not in our parents homes anymore. We don't have all the responsibilities of "real adults," but we have the freedom to do what we want.
To me, college is good friends and late nights. Four years of late nights, to be exact. Running around in a sleep-deprived daze, coffee cup and newspapers (the UD & the USA Today) in hand. Wearing jeans and $2 flip flops. Every day. Living in your backpack. Staying at the bar till 3am and getting up to go to class at nine. (No, mom, I never did that.) It's hanging out with people you hardly know and would not have been friends with in high school. College is - finally - not caring what people think about you. It's about thinking your own thoughts. Speaking your mind "even if your voice shakes." About becoming.
But Tech. Texas Tech University. The crazy part about all this is how much I've grown to love Tech. Growing up in west Texas, Tech is "just Tech." Aw, it's just Tech. I'm just going to school at Tech. Just Tech. Nothing really special. Sure, I grew up with all these stories about Tech & the Goin' Band. To a 10-year old, those stories are legendary. And then I went to high school (where Iknew everything) and decided I didn't want to go to "just Tech." I wanted to leave theroots and move to Austin. But then Tech basically handed me a blank check. And you know how the saying goes -- money talks.
So I stayed. I'll be honest - I wasn't that excited about it. But it was the path of least resistance.
Somewhere between the path of least resistance and now, I've grown to love this place.
Lubbock...well, Lubbock is just Lubbock. It kind of sucks. But Tech is this desert jewel. Nestled in the middle of a cottonfield is a house of learning where homegrown, salt-of-the-earth kids make something of themselves. They become.
And if you haven't had the honor of walking across Tech campus, you have missed out. All of the buildings are done in Spanish architecture. Wonderful red stone roofs. Beautiful sweeping arches. And the bell towers. I think total there are 4 bell towers - Victory and Valor in the AD, the English building, and the USA. And they really work. Every hour, those bells chime out a little song. It's the most magical thing. They call us all home. Walking across campus with the bells ringing - you just really start to think that you're in God's country. But back to the architecture...the best building on campus is the administration building - home to the victory bells. I think it was one of the first buildings ever built. When you walk through the arch, you are first struck by how calm it is. Memorial Circle is just to the north of the building, and the fountains get to be pretty loud. But you walk underneath the arch and the wind (which blows 90 miles an hour 360 days per year) just stops. You're safe from the sun and the rain and the snow (and we've been known to have all three in one day). It's just calm. Then you emerge on the south side of the arch and THAT is Tech. The architecture on the outside of the building is just phenomenal. There are all these intricate carvings around the arch, and running around the building are names of history's brilliant minds - Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Plato. You walk through under those names to get to the heart of campus. You feel the history inherent in education. All these great minds thought all these great thoughts, and you've got four years to take in as many of them as you can. And after you leave the arch towers a great statue of Preston Smith. He's right in the center of the arch, and he looks like he's just walking through it. And in a way I guess he is. Then there is the Double-T bench, which was donated by one of Tech's senior classes. It's all there. All of the things I grew to know and love for four years are summed up in that one building.
But it's not mine anymore.
I know that Tech will always be a part of me. I will - as the inscription in my new senior ring prescribes - strive for honor in whatever I do. I'll take my experiences at Tech with me. But it's just not ever going to be the same. No more football games in the student section. No more living like a Bohemian and eating McDonald's for three days in a row. No more college.
Some things - like the McDonald's - I won't be sad to see go. But being part of the Raider Nation...that's something I can't bear to leave behind.
Part of me never will.
