: I can't wait until QUEEN OF THE DAMNED COMES OUT. Do you know when?
Are they talking about a movie based on that lame ass Anne Rice book? Talk about a series that should of ended one book in. She could publish her grocery list and these people would love it.
I stopped reading the series somewhere in the middle of or slightly after Queen of the Damned. It was tedious, poorly written, and uninteresting. I wanted to find out more about Lestat. He was pretty cool, before the whole "I only drink the blood of the Evil. I am a sensitive, sexy-yet-non-threatening androgyne who is almost all-powerful. Wouldn't I be a great guy to take home to mom?"
: this month sometime...
: What do you think of LeStat?
Ok, in rereading what I've cut and pasted, I find this is terribly uninteresting. But I will still send it, because hey, I like to torture Shadey by making her read REALLY stupid things. You're welcome, Shadey. *maniacal laughter trailing off into a nervous twitter*
I already posted what I think about Lestat. He started out cool, then became a giant pussy. Giant.
: on the movie?
: i adore lestat......
Of COURSE you do; you can't be a self-respecting pseudo goth pretend vampire if you don't thoroughly enjoy the trite writing of Anne Rice.
There really aren't any good Vampire writers. I mean, there's Anne Rice and Poppy Z. Brite, both of whom are not for the intellecutually staggering. There's Brahm Stroker, who's the ultimate snooze. The only really good Vampire stories I've found are Christobelle and a handful of short stories. It's hard being "goth" when you have nothing but crap to base your life on.
: But he can be such a brat.
Deep. Real deep. Which back cover did you read this tidbit from?
Not exactly how I'd describe him, no.
: yeah i know but still....
He's everyone's immortal positive male role model. Even if he is a brat.
He's old, but not a fogey. He's wise, but not pretentiuos. He's sexy, but not sexually threatening. He has fangs. He deals death, but only to the "bad guys." How can you not love him?
Excuse me. My mascara is running. Have you seen my trowel?
: (mortal thrall is very tired)
Why this is out of character, I'll never know. I do find it funny she calls herself 'mortal thrall' however. And no comments about me having a girl's name, SHADEFELL.
So, if you had a mortal thrall, would you call it "Mort" for short?
: I mean he is cute and all, but he is fictional. Lad is real.
Firm grip on the obvious. I like that in a lurkee. And I think he's suffering from some 'Lestat envy'.
I've known more than one person online (and a few offline... i'm sorry, but in real life, anime-ish sweat drops do not form behind your head, fucknaut) who is obsessed with fictional characters. I'm surprised this person understands the difference between "fake" and "real."
: *leans over slowly and kisses you* this you are....
Are real? And he gets rewarded for that? Sheesh, she's easy, she'll go for anything with a pulse.
This... this is how A.I. should have ended. Soft core robot porn.
: (So sorry. Those mortal thralls really wimp out on us Immortals every chance they get!
Again, ooc for no point. And here I thought he had a grip on reality, but, no, he's a pseudo goth 'real' net vampire. Hmm. I wonder if he's a government secret agent too.
Secret... Agent Vamp! Secret... Agent Vamp!
Anyway, we're back to that whole "fantasy vs. reality" debate again. So hard!
: *kisses her back, tenderly, yet smouldering, mindful of her oral surgery.*
How romantic.
I just came.
I wonder what oral surgery she had? Maybe getting all her teeth removed so there's nothing in the way?
Because as we all know, when you have a gaping wound in your mouth, nothing makes you feel better than tender yet smoldering kisses. Unf!
: (woke up @ 6 this mornin and is so so so tired)
Is that why you sound like a moron?
Oh no! Not at six! The sun was still up!
: Plus, yer mouth is still healing, darling.
Some smart, smart man must've sewn it shut.
Q:What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A:Nuthin! You already done told her twice! Hur hur hur!
: i*kisses you back softly*
: yes....
Unfortunately for us, she can still communicate online. This is where it gets into a semi-porn chat. If you are under 18, please do not read on as you are young enough not to let this stupidity warp your fragile mind.
i *retches softly*
yes...
: IREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY MISSED YOU!
Missed you so much he can't turn his caps lock off. And don't you think you could stick a few more 'really's in there to make your point clearer?
IREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY HAVE TO PEE!
I'm surprised there weren't more exclamation points.
: i missed you also.....*smiles* really missed you......
I don't believe her.
She just missed the cybersex.
: Thought you'd like this. A young, single divorced mother secretary in mortal thrall's office complained about the downside of love. I asked her if she was a charter member of the Young...single...divorced...mother...secretary.
Don't run into one of those everyday.
I like how he stresses that she's single AND divorced... and then mentions that she's young, also. I'm surprised he didn't call her a "gay divorcee".
And is a "mother secretary" anything like a Queen Bee?
: AMAP Club. She asked, ''What's that?'' I told her ALL MEN ARE PIGS! She fell down on the floor laughing uncontrollably. My good deed for the day
I HIGHLY doubt anyone would fall on the floor laughing at that. I bet the best you got is a polite laugh and an eyeroll when you weren't looking. But, hey, at least YOU think it's funny, and isn't THAT what's important?
Actually, I'm kind of enjoying the thought of a young, professionaly dressed woman suddenly losing control of herself and falling onto the floor, where she commences laughing hystericly and rolling about. OMG! LOL! ROFL! LOR LOR LOR!
: *chukles* you are goofy...
*ahem* Polite laugh...eyeroll when you're not looking. History repeats itself.
"Teehee! You're so condescending! Like, wait. If your secretary was a man, would you, like, talk about the AWAB club? the "All Women Are Bitches Club"? Like, you are such a pig! Ha ha! I get the joke now! Men are pigs! HUR HUR HUR"
: My friends say I am more like Donald Duck
With your razor wit, I doubt you have friends.
You wear a really festive sailor hat and frequently forget to wear pants, while running around the three young boys who hang around you all the time despite your lack of pants and frequent swearing?
SEXY!
: short fuse
This is the foreplay, btw, don't blink.
Cyber foreplay. Oh, yea. Just gotta give him enough time to find his vaseline. Failing that, his butter.
: bleh.....*laffs*
AHA! Her guard is down, go for the kill!
I'm on the edge of my seat!
Only, not really!
: *kisses her passionately*Then stares into the blazing eyes of Fire.
This guy shifts gears about as smoothly as my old Taurus did when I blew the transmission. He'll be humping her leg inside of a minute.
I like how he slides slickly in and out of actions and comments. What's he saying? What's he doing? Does anybody know? Does he?
I bet he goes to St. Ed's.
: *gives Fire fire for Fire*
Ouch. That was so witty it hurt my brain.
I get a special headache when Jay Leno is on tv. I call it my "Leno Headache."
I have a variant of it right now.
: *kisses him back with passion*
As opposed to kissing him back with apathy or annoyance?
I want to start kissing people with peevishness. Or vengence. *kisses vengefully*
: Wanna private chat again?
What do you think they'll do there? Probably discuss the dynamics of post Clinton economics as directly relating to multinational corporations' ethical policies...or cyber like wild wildebeasts.
Christ. Just get a fucking Instant Messaging program. There's only about 40 million of them.
: sure......
And she sounds so enthused about the prospect.
"Hey, baby! Wanna cyber?"
"Sure... I guess. I'm not doing anything else right now."
: Remember the chatroom? Do I need to e mail it again?
Wonder why they're so secretive. It's not like anybody's watching, cut&pasting, and making snide comments. People are so paranoid sometimes.
Because it's a PRIVATE chat room! If they post the address, someone else might go there! And see them in their panties! In private! As opposed to being seen in this room in their panties!
: i saved it....
: Great! Meet me there?
No, this is where she turns her computer off and goes to bed, because she said she was tired, which you blatantly ignored. You're such a pig.
AMAP
: Fire?
: Fire?
See? Go hump your mouse or something.
: I'm going there now. Will look for you. *Smooches!*
Another lurk successfully concluded. And we're all dumber for the process. You're welcome, Shade. I owe you about 20 IQ points now.
This totally sucks. You suck, also. I hope you get gout. Bad gout. And lose the ability to walk or type. Jesus.