Kaos_hound: dunno. so i tried 2 stop him and coz of this he went after me, my wife, and my unborn kids...
This is Kaos Hound. We've already met his wife, Hemlock, in the VCHAT from Feb 8th.
Joaquin de Corazon: You have a family? *leans closer*
He's so sharp, he's going to cut himself.
Kaos_hound: yup. only my wife and kids are TOTALLY unkillabe. and i mean TOTALLY *g*
Because they have POWER.
Joaquin de Corazon: You embraced mortal children? *eyes flash for a moment*
Flash flash the eyes! Gnash gnash the teeth! Oops. Sorry. Retreated into Greek folklore for a second there. You know, if the lights go out, we can just use Joaquin's flashing eyes. He's so cool when he's rightously indignant. What a cutie!
Kaos_hound: no, i made my wife pregnant *S*
See, when a man and a woman love each other very very much...
Evzen: (no. he knocked up his vampire wife and has unborn VAMPIRE children. DUH.)
Evzen: (knocked her up and had him a shot gun wedding.)
Kaos_hound: shes not vampire though LOL. shes........something else...*G*
Boy, I'll say. A real hellcat in bed! Heh heh heh.
Joaquin de Corazon: *shakes his head slightly and takes another drink*
He's using the drink to wash this down... the story's kind of hard to swallow.
Kaos_hound: naaah she was pregnant AFTER we were married. we love each other.......
He has a somewhat tenuous grip on the biology of reproduction.
Evzen: (uhm... ''love'' does't make babies... ''sex'' makes babies.)
Kaos_hound: (love came first, mr(s) sarcastic LMAO )
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the litter in the baby carriage!
Kaos_hound: *wonders also when he'll be able to type properly, or spell...*
: *crumples her little foil self into a ball and chucks herself at kaos smacking him in the head*
: you will never be able to spell or type properly! cause I the terrible shadow lurker have cursed you with my horrible typo demons!!
Kaos_hound: *catches the foil ball and looks at it, grins and sticks it in his mouth and sucks it, then spits it out again * Mmmmm tasty
: AHHHHH!!! I HAVE BEEN SUCKED!!! AND SPAT OUT WITHOUT PERMISSION!!!!! *runs and hides behind her sissy and shadey*
Kaos_hound: *winks* Mmmmm tatsy baby yeah!!! LOL
: *small voice* protect me from evil nasty perverted man dog thing.
Kaos_hound: vampire thank you....not man dog thing....*sigh*
Kaos_hound: evil? sometimes, but these days hardly ever.....perverted..hell yeah!! *S*
Kaos_hound: so tell me, slightly damp no name, who are you? *S*
: *is NOT going to tell him her name, not at all!*
Ariaunna: hello
Kaos_hound: *hugs ariaunna *
UH OH! I hope that his LOVE does not make Ariaunna pregnant, too! Maybe it will be triplets, this time?
Agony: *The door opens and her bloated form steps through, her stragely hair thin and her scalp scabed and bloody, her dark badly applied makeup smered across her face, her skin bloated
This is one of the most revolting things I have ever witnessed. It gets worse.
Ariaunna: umm hi
Apparently discomfited by his hug. I would be, too.
: *pauses noticeing the wife of kaos appear out of thin air* DAMN! I missed her! Damn them clones! *scowls and is gone*
Well, despite making no sense, Remia reveals that she doesn't pay very good attention to the archived lurk pages... else she would know that HEMLOCK is Kaos Hound's wife.
Agony: and bloched from over feeding. She clutches at her fat stomach and thuds against the wall with a groan, and gags as she thinks she can hear the blood swishing around in her belly
This is so incredibly disgusting.
Kaos_hound: shes not my wife...
That's no lady...! hahahahahahaha! Never mind.
Ariaunna: what? i'm so not his wife
She's, like, sooo totally not his wife. I mean, gaw! That is, like, so grody! Like, how can you even suggest that? That is sooo totatlly non-tubular.
Agony: clogging up her vains, making them bludge in her imagination*
Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick! Ick!
Kaos_hound: *cant imagine being married to ariaunna, no matter how hard he tries*
Well, he's only a LITTLE bitchy.
Ariaunna: yeah especially when you think i'm a conniving bitch huh kaos
Ah... HAH! The truth comes OUT!
Kaos_hound: i suppose the sex would be excellent, but the rest would be arse...
What a jerk! He's got a pregnant wife who he claims to love, and all he can think about is sex with Ariaunna! What a pig! And so catty, too.
Kaos_hound: never said that....
But you thought it. Admit it. Didn't you?
Billie Lee Black: *enters with fury in his eyes*
Fury! Get the hell outta his eyes! What the hell's wrong with you? *pries Fury out of his eyes* Go put your Shame clothes back on, and for the love of god, stay out of Billie Lee Black's eyes in the future!
Ariaunna: bullshit, my sister was lurking and she saw the whole episode
BEHOLD! The power of lurking! Damn, what a bitch. Spying on him.
Kaos_hound: i said your only like that SOMETIMES...the rest of the time i like you......
You're only a connivng bitch SOMETIMES! When you're on the rag! The rest of the time, you're very sexy. Wanna jump my bones?
Ariaunna: and you also said you want to kill me?
Kaos_hound: no, i said i wantED to kill you. dont now. *S* as in, i USED to want you dead, but not any more
I can change baby! Honest! I can become more senstive!
Ariaunna: why's that, you had your chance for me to be dead, and you told hem, i tried to seduce you?
It's really hot in the computer lab. I wish there was air conditioning in here. I even have the window open, but there's no breeze. It's the middle of February, there's about 50 feet of snow outside, the window's open, and I'm sweating. Life sucks. Oh yea, and I'm formatting this crap. I dunno why. I mean, my comments aren't even that funny. Oh well. It beats studying.
Kaos_hound: you did. but that was before me -&- her. so....whatever, the past is the past.......and why do i want u alive?? hmmm
I think he's from Arkansas originally, but moving to New York soon. Yea. I think so.
Ariaunna: yeah why do you want me alive?
Billie Lee Black: *walks to the conflict* SHUT UP!!!
YEAH! That's tellin' them, Billie Lee! Now come git yore corn pone while it's still hot!
Billie Lee Black: *looks at Agony across the room, then goes back to his seat*
What's up with his name, anyway? It's like the most cracker name imaginable... Billie Lee... with the uber-cool-goth 'Black' tacked on at the end. Why not call himself Joe Bob Demonsucker or something? And by the way, Billie Lee is a girl's name.
Kaos_hound: because i think somewhere inside i like you enough to want you breathing......
Awww... that's so fucking sweet...
Ariaunna: *sarcastic* oh i feel so much better
Ariaunna: *turns to billie* this is not even the time so don't mess with me
Well, okay. So her reactions are only a LITTLE delayed.
Kaos_hound: hey i like you. deal with it *S*
Does anyone else feel like gouging his eyes out with a sharp stick?
Billie Lee Black: *notices Agony again and this time walks over to her*
Hey, baby. Wanna check out my pickup?
Ariaunna: that is so nasty
Kaos_hound: whats nasty?
Hello, Mr. Oblivious...
Ariaunna: sorry i just cant feel emotion toward a supposed friend who wiuld just let someone kill me
Sure you can. You can feel hate, rage, anger, indigestion, sorrow..... these are ALL emotions.
Billie Lee Black: *looks at her calmly* you need to leave...
He seems to have named himself 'honorary bouncer'. Frikkin' cracker rednecks...
Ariaunna: the girl over there
Kaos_hound: i said id try and stop her if she tried to kill you in my presence......
Geeze, buddy. Don't put yourself out TOO much. If this is how he treats his sexy friends, I'd hate to see how he treats his ugly ones! Or his enemies, for that matter!
Ariaunna: she told you if she came in and told you to leave, and you said you would leave
While not quite coherent, she paints a dark picture indeed. I mean, he can't very well stop her killers if he's left the room, can he? My eyes are starting to bleed.
Agony: *looks up at Billie, gags again, more blood drimming over her mouth, dripping down her pale chin, stares at him blankly and sprays putrid blood into his face, pints and pints of blood as she emptys her stomach into his face*
Although this is incredibly disgusting, I can't help but feel that Billie Lee deserves it. YaY
Ariaunna: you klnow what i cannot even look at you without utter contempt
Almost as strong as the contempt she feels when she looks into the mirror!
Kaos_hound: yeah i know. but you dont think id actually DO IT though, do you?
He'd only SAY he was going to do it, then break his promise. Cos that's the kind of guy he is!
Ariaunna: yes, i do
Or not.
Kaos_hound: well i wouldnt...
Oh yes you would. Oh no I wouldn't. Oh yes you would. Oh no I wouldn't. Oh yes you would. Blah Blah Blah.
Billie Lee Black: *wipes the blood from his face and angrily kicks her in the stomach* Bitch...
Do all hillbillies beat women, or just ones with spooky goth last names?
Ariaunna: *walks away from him and goes out the door without even saying goodbye*
Man, that's cold. Doesn't even say bye to the guy who insulted her and wanted her dead. What a bitch.
Kaos_hound: *looks at bille* wish you wouldnt do that mate....
Isn't he great when he stands up for women's rights? What a hero.
Agony: *doubles over and crumbles to the floor, the kick causing more blood to spurt out from her mouth, puking up over his feet*
Does anyone read Hitman by Garth Ennis? Remember the issue where Batman hit him in the stomach, and he puked all over Batman's shoes? Dag, that was hilarious.
Billie Lee Black: *looks up at Kaos* oh? and why not?*kicks her again*
He's a real tough guy.
Kaos_hound: coz man........hurting chix....... ya know?? its not......cool..... even if they do deserve it....
*watches him try to form a complete, albeit misogynist, thought* Wow. Looks painful. Does anyone else smell smoke?
Kaos_hound: and especially if they dont. whats she done to get u on her case?
Defender of the weak! Protector of the vomitous! It's...Kaos_Hound!!!!! Just make sure you have your credit card handy.
Billie Lee Black: I know its not cool... but I ain't no nice guy anymore...
*watches him try and use 'tough guy' language... badly* Ow. That dropped dialect has GOT to hurt.
Billie Lee Black: she spit blood in my face
Awwwwww... poor baby.... some fat, bloated bitch spat blood in your face... better defend your honor by kicking her shitless! That'll prove what a MAN you are!
Kaos_hound: *walks over to agaony and kneels down by her face * tell me, why are you like this? why are you puking blood everywhere?
Because she's out of Mylanta.
Agony: *pukes again onto his feet at the kick, groans*
Quick! Quick! She's down! Kick her again!
Kaos_hound: yeah, but that aint a reason to kick the shit out of her man...
Ok. Is anyone else picturing him with a big, fat doobie hanging out of his mouth?
Billie Lee Black: *grabs her bloody arm and drags her out the door*
He's gonna have him a GOOD time with this bitch!
Kaos_hound: hey man!!! leave her alone!!!! *runs out after them *
This is tedious, but in a very surreal way. It gets absolutely bizarre later on.
Billie Lee Black: *turns to Kaos* are you sure yoiu wanna stop me?...*glares into his eyes*
This is.... like...a stereotypical bad-guy speech.
Kaos_hound: *glares back * like im scared of you.... just leave her alone, come back inside, have a drink and CALM DOWN...yeah?
Yea... have a drink... that will solve all your problems...
Agony: *is about to form words at Kaos, her lips move but only a small gurgerling sound escapes her lips as she gets dragged out, burns the remainder of her blood pool, {potence} yanks
The gurlgling sound was her effort at saying "please, do something creative and well thought out. please." However, they didn't understand her.
Kaos_hound:have her to chuck her guts up outside...
A veritable PARAGON of good works and mercy.
Billie Lee Black: *drops her in a small ditch and walks past Kaos back inside*
A small ditch. Not a large ditch. Not a medium-sized ditch. A small ditch. Not a hole. Not a gully. Not a puddle. A ditch. A small one.
Agony: down on the arm grabbing her, pulling him onto her*
Agony: ((errrrrr ever heard of leting me post??? huh?? ))
Quiet, you! You're just a vomitous woman! You have no say in this!
Kaos_hound: *pulls agony out of the ditch and leans by her ear * what were u trying to tell me?
Genius. Just... genius. If you want to hear what she's saying... hover by her EAR!
Billie Lee Black: *walks back outside with an axe and approaches them both*
In case you were wondering where he got that axe from... he pulled it out of his ass. Like so many other things.
Kaos_hound: what u doin with that ax man?
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
Agony: *her lips move agian, she gags on the words, pales considerablly through loss of blood. he catches a slight whisper maybe, a slight noise escaping her throut as she beckons him to come closer to hear her words*
Sorry... your call... did not... go through. Please hang... up and... try... blurgh.
Billie Lee Black: *stays silent and keeps walking*
Kaos_hound: leave her (and me) alone....jsut go inside and cool down a bit yeah?? no one wants to go past the point of no return....
What a whiner. Geeze. Just cos you don't wanna freak out doesn't mean nobody else does either.
Billie Lee Black: *stops 2 feet away and raises the axe*
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory.
Kaos_hound: *leans closer * what?
Kaos_hound: *slides agony gently back in the ditch, to be safe, then looks at bille *
*is reminded of Don Quixote* Never mind.
Kaos_hound: *shouts to evzen* a little help here please? maybe?
They are outside, playing in a ditch. Evzen was inside, in the garden courtyard thing. How was he supposed to hear a desperate cry for help? Huh?
Billie Lee Black: *suddenly he seizes and crumples to the ground, the axe falling too*
Seizes? Seizes what? What's going on? What happened? I think I need a drink. If I were drunk or under the influence of some mind-altering drug, perhaps this would make more sense.
Agony: *scurrys back into the ditch, her fangs retracking, her feet bare,scared and bloody with cuts, her wild hair blowing about in the wind,snarls like a wild animal, looks very ferile*
Kaos_hound: *grabs the ax and hurls it faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away *
There's a little known law of physics that states if you spell "far" with extra vowels, stretching the word out, the action will be similarly stretched out. Bet you didn't know that, huh?
Evzen: *there's no possible way he could hear kaos hound*
Kaos_hound: (even if i was shouting REALLLLLLLLY LOUD?? aaaaaah nutz!! LOL )
Again, by adding the extra "L's" to "really", he was able to sound so much more conniving than usual. Physics. Gotta love it.
Billie Lee Black: *stands up and picks up a nearby rock*
Ok. They're fighting with ROCKS. My brain is bleeding. Are we about done?
Kaos_hound: *jumps in the ditch, keeping his distance* you ok ???? agony?
For a small ditch, it sure holds a lot of people.
Kaos_hound: *waits in the ditch for billie to get close *
Lying in wait. What a brave li'l soldier!
Billie Lee Black: *he throws it with great strenght at the ditch*
He'll show that ditch who's boss! Yea! Take that, ditch!
Kaos_hound: *catches it and puts it gently on the floor of the ditch *
Mmmm... Ammunition.
Billie Lee Black: *looks around for something else to use*
Apparently, there was only one rock.
Billie Lee Black: *rips a branch off a small tree and makes sure its sharp*
It starts getting really... uh... strange around here.
LOOK OUT! HE'S GOT A TREEBRANCH!
Kaos_hound: agony?
Agony: *draws out a small blunt dirty knife from the folds of her dress, ignores Kaos, shuffels uneasily on her bare feet*((wonders if Billie being a Wraith would make anydifference))
Ok. If Billie is a Wraith, then there's really no way he could be directly influencing the Skinlands the way he is. This puzzles more. This puzzles me more than the pregnant were-snail vampire mages that sometimes pop up.
Billie Lee Black: *runs toward the ditch*
I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!
Kaos_hound: jumps out the ditch and prepares to cast razorwind.....*
YaY! He is using his "power"! Tremble before him, the mightiest of munchkins!!
Billie Lee Black: *Outrage: Dust devil* * a large tornado-like thing emerges from the ground*
That's the technical description of it, too.
*checks Wraith: the Oblivion* Hmmm.... according to this, the different powers of "outrage" are "Leap of Rage," "Ping," "Wraithgrasp," "Stonehand Punch," "Death's Touch," and "Obliviate." WTF?
Kaos_hound: *gives agony a SHARP silver knife* here, use this...
Kaos_hound: *ice fortress: is protected ffrom tornado by a sheild of solid ice...*
How do you think he fits all that crap up his ass? Does it hurt when he pulls it out?
Evzen: (*watches the others role play, stunned. just... stunned*)
Billie Lee Black: *can be heard laughing from behind the dust devil*
What's so funny, fat boy?
Kaos_hound:*can be heard singing behild the ice walls*
I guess the singing counteracts the laughing. Or something.
ACAYLA HAS THE REST OF THIS!!!
to be continued.