special introductory
paragraph!
Always Was, Is And
Always Shall Be
Eat My Fuc
Doctrine Of
Mayhem
Hated In The
Nation
You Give Love A Bad
Name
Freaks, Faggots, Drunks
& Junkies
Anti-Social Personality
Disorder - Live!
The Best Of The Suicide
Sessions
Carnival Of
Excess
War In My Head-I'm Your
Enemy
Brutality &
Bloodshed
For All
Disgusting sleazebags don't get much
disgustingly sleazebaggier than Kevin "G.G." Allin. His life was a sick
form of performance art - he set no limits for himself, meaning that he
would smash himself in the head with the microphone, beat his fans up, poop
on stage, eat it, throw it at the crowd, work diligently to rise to the top
ranks of a Fortune 500 company, let girls vomit, pee and poop in his mouth,
shoot up every drug he could find, rape and beat up stupid girls who for
some reason trusted him, and eventually - he died of a heroin overdose!
Which is probably best for us, since he always claimed that he was going to
kill himself on stage and take as many spectators with him as possible. Oh!
He was also a singer/songwriter along the lines of Jackson Browne. His
music? SCUMMY! Started off just misogynist punk, but as his voice and mind
deteriorated, it became sicker, filthier, messier, scuzzier, noisier,
screamier and Perrier. Perrier??? WATER you doing? Ha ha!!! HEEEEE!
If you're only familiar with the public image of
GG Allin, you will be astonished when you see and hear this album. He's a
snotty little twit! Clean shaven face, full head of hair, looks about 20
with an ugly scowl on his snotty little face, wearing a denim jacket with
the name "GG Allin" above the pocket. Then put it on and what do you got?
Poorly mixed punk rock (the drums are WAY the hell back there) with cleanish
guitars and a curled lip American trailer trash redneck jerkoff singing
macho lyrics about rockin' and rollin' - like Johnny Cougar gone asshole!
With his first band - The Jabbers! Some of the lyrics are violent, profane
and misogynistic, but not anything like the grossout shock material he would
be performing as early as his second album. These songs are catchy as hell
and completely rooted in Ramones/60sish punk, with hilarious lyrics like
"Beat, beat, beat - beat my meat, bitch!" and "Makes no sense the things you
do and say, girl/'Cuz everything you do comes back to me/Don't you mess with
me emotionally/Or I will make you bleed internally." HEE! And that's
honestly as bad as it gets. The other tracks are just overdumb
spit-in-your-eye stuff like "Don't Talk To Me," "I Need Adventure," "One Man
Army" and "Bored To Death." Ridiculous enough as it is to say, the only
thing that hurts this record is GG's attempts to be poppy. As
evidenced by everything else he would do in his career, pop music really
wasn't his forte - not even pop PUNK. The backup vocals are corny, some of
the voice melodies sound riproaringly amateurish with this little kid trying
to sing them and one of the songs has the most out-of-tune keyboard you will
ever hear in your life - and not on porpoise. It's a WHALE of an out of
tune keyboard! See? Lyin'! (Sea Lion) This was on Orange Records - David
Peel's label! As in Have A Marijuana!! That's right!!! HAVE A
FUCKIN' MARIJUANA!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait wait wait, slow down. Are you
telling me that you're one of the 999 billion trillion people who have never
heard of Have A Marijuana!?
Anyways, the stuff with the Jabbers is the best. "Don't Talk To Me" and
"Assface" are classics!
Ahhhh now THIS is Pr. GG Addams! Song titles, you
demand like a child after a sweet sweet lollipop of life? I'm not in the
mood for quotation marks at the moment, so caps will simply have to suffice:
HARD CANDY COCK, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, DRINK FIGHT AND FUCK, I WANNA FUCK
YOUR BRAINS OUT, I'M GONNA RAPE YOU, FUCKIN' THE DOG, COCK ON THE LOOSE,
CLIT LICKER, BLOW JOBS. And I suppose there are a few others, but they
don't contain curse words, so what's the point? No point! That is my
answer to everything at this point in our society, as we kill ourselves with
the ozone layer and greenhouses. GG made a quantum leap starring the
highly-talented, meteoric young star Scott Bakula on this album, with his
new band The ScumFucs kicking the shit out of the pussyass Jabbers, with
distorted heavy guitars a-blarin', high-speed angry punk drums a-smashin'
(audibly so, too!) and a healthy wad of scraggly phlegm cloggin' up GG's
voicebox so, young as he still be, he sounds angry and urban instead of
rural and stupid. This is punk rock! A few of the songs still sound like
poorly advised bubblegum Ramones ripoffs (especially the disgusting
sing-songy "I Wanna Fuck Your Brains Out" and "Teacher's Pet" - BLEAHEW~!),
but most of the others are hard angry punk, so HEY WAIT A GODDAMNED
MINUTE!!! "POORLY ADVISED"??? NOBODY ADVISED GG ALLIN, YOU FUCK. GG ALLIN
DID EVERYTHING HIS WAY, YOU FUCK!!!! YOU AREN'T FIT TO LICK HIS FUKIN SHITT
YOU DICK COCK SUCKER!! Sorry about that, Reader Comments shoved me away
from the keyboard to get in a few words. I'm back now. This is a really
profane, violent, fun punk rock record that you'll get a real kick out of if
you're into stuff like that. Hideous lead guitar work though (as bad as my
work with the Low-Maintenance Perennials!) and a weird mix where the fuzzy
guitars keep overloading and then disappearing when GG screams too loud (as
bad as my work with the Low-Maintenance Perennials!). And the end of the CD
features a great in-concert bit, with people in the crowd laughing and
making fun of GG as he cusses them out (as bad as my work with the
Hollyridge Strings Play The Hits Of The Low-Maintenance Perennials!). Oh,
I forgot. Gotta always talk about what GG looks like. Still young, but his
hair is messier, he's grown a really stupid looking redneck mustache and
he's going around with sunglasses in front of his eyes and no shirt on like
a tough hick punk (which is weird considering he came from Boston. Hurm).
On a funny note, this album nowadays is usually referred to as its initials
E.M.F.. Isn't that a hilarity laugh? Remember that band E.M.F.?
They were really good! If ya like SHIT!
GG's catalog is impossible to keep track of.
Various labels have released so darn many singles, EPs, compilations and
especially live CDs that I've just given up (a) trying to figure out the
correct order for the discography and (b) buying up all the various shmoot
and shelackle. But Doctrine Of Mayhem is a necessity. It's a
compilation featuring a little acoustic GG, a little of a short-lived band
he had called the Cedar Street Sluts, and a whole lotta awesome ScumFucs
material, much of which could very well be called the greatest material of
his career. Classic angry catchy punk anthems of hate like "Bite It You
Scum," "I Wanna Piss On You," "I Wanna Fuck Myself" (later covered by Faith
No More!), "Needle Up My Cock," "Fuck The Dead" and "Ass Fuckin' Butt
Suckin'" carry on that awesome Scumfucs tradition that made Eat My
Fuc such a wonderfully cleansing blast of fury and stupidity. Two
versions of the slow, ugly pretentious "Blood For You" (in which GG refers
to himself as Jesus Christ, among other deities) are a bit much though, and
"GG's Xmas Song" reaches way, way, WAY over the line of "pointless
profanity." See, it's a parody of the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's all
stuff like "Cunts A-Layin'," "Pussies Fuckin'," "Crusty Panties" and other
hilarious line parodies like that. With just GG and his acoustic guitar.
Give me the uproarious good times of the Bob Rivers Comedy Corporation any
day! Give me Dr. Demento's Greatest Christmas Novelty Hits Of All Time any
day! Give me Christmas With The Vandals any day! Give me the Beach Boys'
Christmas Album any day! Give me The Ventures' Christmas Album any
day! Give me Paul Revere And The Raiders' Christmas Present any
day! Don't give me Patsy And Elmo's Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer any
day! By the way, I pissed off a guy at work by sending an email around
comparing his newborn daughter to a groundhog. Can you believe the
sensitivity of some people? Sheesh. What he needs is some nice ASS FUCKIN!
BUTT SUCKIN! CUNT LICKIN! MASTURBATION!!!!! Huh? No, I didn't make that
up. It's a line from a song. Huh? NO! It's not from Huey Lewis And The
News' "The Heart Of Rock And Roll"! Jesus! Would you just drop the
issue?
Another compilation. This one's cool because it
features lots of soundbites of GG in concert talking like a dumbass. Also
has some answering machine messages including what sounds like the guitarist
from the Dead Kennedys asking GG to open a show for them! Lots of the
material can be found on the last two records I just reviewed though, so
don't be fooledi nto giving all your money to the coproate monster
moneygrubbering sleazebags at ROIR. So why do you need this album?
Because there's a song on it called "Ten Year Old Fuck." It's about fucking
10-year-old girls. GG Allin was a class act and a friend to all.
Where in Sam Frank's Disco did GG Allin's voice disappear to? Suddenly he
doesn't just sound scraggly - he sounds downright disgusting! He's just
screaming his obscene lyrics like there's a huge ball of disgusting phlegm
lodged in his throat that he enjoys having there so he's not bothering to hack
it up in public like a generous person would think to do. And his new band The
Holy Men aren't even really "punk rock"! They're distorted, trashy and noisy as
hell, but the music is more of a midtempo slash-and-burn grunge noise figpuck
sound, with just a couple fast 'uns thrown in for the kids to dig. Another
really good record for GG. Critics hate this guy, but fuck them. They don't
know what rock and roll is if they can't see the headbanging, hilarious aspects
of shit like "I'm A Rapest" (his spelling, not mine), "Teenage Twats" and "Swank
Fucking," which begins the record with the stirring couplet, "Your pussy smells
like piss/Your asshole smells like shit." GG Allin - fabled poet of the
Underwood! Although this record certainly doesn't include any of GG's best
known songs, it's very consistent, with only two slow trudgers kinda testing the
patience a bit. And a Charles Manson cover!!!! Just like the Lemonheads and
Guns 'N Roses! But different! Because this song is actually a GOOD Charles
Manson song!!!! Even though I think Charles Manson is an asshole and anybody
who glorifies him deserves to have their loved ones slaughtered so they can see
how "wicked cool" it is!!!!!
This is the album that made me a GG Allin fan
(from afar, of course), so let it do the same for you! Nineteen horrific
tracks, covering the gamut from spoken word to country/western to hardcore
punk to avante noise to industrial noise to trash grunge to AC/DC-style hard
rock -- all driven into the dirt by a disgustingly reverbed mud-level guitar
tone, shitty airplane hangar-quality production, vomitously low, grizzled
screamed vocals and yet another batch of stupid, offensive lyrics with no
attention at all placed on "rhyme" or "point." Oh, would you have written
"reason" instead of "point"? Well, I guess that's why I'm the world famous
record reviewer Mark Prindle and you're just the lowly high-powered CEO of
Microsoft, which is probably named after the inferior state of your phallus.
Brian Wilson covers on this one include "Be My Fuckin Whore," "Suck My Ass
It Smells," "Dog Shit," "Sleeping In My Piss," "Anti Social Masterbator"
(his spelling, not mine. I would have spelled it "Auntie"), "Last In Line
For The Gang Bang," "Cunt Sucking Cannibal," "Commit Suicide" and "My Bloody
Mutilation." 50 minutes long!!! Why haven't you bought it yet????? Do you
think I'm doing this for fame and romance???
The whole point of GG's live shows was to give him
a chance to beat people up. I'm sure that videos of his shows are
entertaining as hell (I've only seen one, but it was RIDICULOUS! Just a
disgusting bald bloody naked man running around the floor attacking people),
but there's no reason to buy any of the fifty eight billion live CDs that
are available. The songs are always poorly recorded, with little attention
paid to the vocals. That's not to deny that most of his songs are catchy
and/or funny as hell though, which is why I couldn't bring myself to give
this disc less than a 6 on my Scale Of Diabetes.
If this is the Best, I'd hate to hear the
WORST!!!! But all hilarious kidding aside, this is an itch-achingly
disappointing collection of half-assed trudgers. It's all very poorly
recorded, slow and noisy but only occasionally catchy and, because of GG's
retched screaming tendencies of late, it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE to understand
the lyrics, which I'm sure are poetic and mature, much like the work of the
late Robert Frost. Some of the stirring pieces on this wax-go-spin include
"Shit On My Prick," "Cornhole Lust," "Spread Your Legs, Part Your Lips,"
"Stick A Cross Up A Nun's Cunt," "Drug Whore" and "Lillian Phone
Fucker." It's just not very good. Too many of the songs are just a bunch
of tuneless noise with GGG yelling over it. In fact, while playing it
tonight, engaged in a heated game of Triple-Ball with my fiancee Brenda and
my puppy Henry, I perceived some discomfort in the face of the woman
component in the above equation. I sayeth to thine, "What's wrong, are you
tired?" And she replied, "Yeah, and I hate GG Allin." And I'm all like
what the fuck, because she sang along with tons of the songs from the first
three albums, remembering them from her punker days in high school (in fact,
she insists that Always Was, Is And Always Shall Be should get the 10
- she LOVES "Automatic"). So I says, "Huh? I thought you liked GG
Allin?!?" And, in that mysterious wily female way, she seductively replied,
"Not this shit."
Country/western music is outlaw music, after all,
so ol' self-outlaw-fancier Allin thought he'd give it a whirl. This is
straight C/W music, with clean guitars, pianos and bouncy bass lines, and GG
is (choke!) SINGING!!! In an odd twist of fate along the lines of Dylan
cleaning up his larynx for "Lay Lady Lay," GG sounds like a warbling seal as
he relates his tales of tough-guy macho drug use and showoffitudeness. Some
of the songs are good, but the others sound just like the good oneswithout
that which makes them good! If you're a country music fan, you probably
won't want to hear GG doing it, and if you're a GG fan, you probably won't
want to hear country music.,p>And if you're a Boston fan, tune in to your
favorite classic rock station, where you'll hear a song off of the first
Boston album EVERY TWENTY MINUTES!!!
The stylistic tinkering continues. I don't know
the story behind this, so I'll just tell ye what it are, Cigar. This is
repeated loops of GG espousing his stupid outlook on life ("murder is good,"
"comfort is bad," etc) while loops of noise from his past albums play in the
background. It's more interesting than you'd think, but less interesting
than any other GG record that I personally have ever heard. He takes
himself far too seriously, and it shows! Lots of Richard Kern pics of GG in
the little booklet. Richard Kern is the greatest erotic photographer of all
time, but who in Sam Jenkins McGillicudy requested erotic pictures of GG
Allin? El Duce from The Mentors I could understand, but GG Allin?
Blorp! I made up that word "blorp" - do you like it? It's short for
"Every word in the Bible." So now you can memorize the entire Bible just by
remembering one word! Try it Sunday at your Pastor!
Holy frijole senor, GG at age 36 looked like a
mass murderer and sounded like the Cookie Monster. His once vital young
spiteful shit scream has devolved into an unintentionally humorous Muppet
growl and his new band the Murder Junkies plays COCK ROCK METAL!!!
Seriously. Not like power ballads and stuff like that, but you could
definitely hear like the Scorpions or AC/DC playing these riffs. Though a
lot of the songs are supercatchy in a midtempo late-period Ramones-type way,
it's certainly not punk by any imagination of my stretch (except for the
low-life production, I suppose). The lyrics are about a billion times less
entertaining than on his previous outings too. Where are the ridiculously
misogynist sex lyrics? All we get hear is violence, boring violence and
bland violence, often with unwieldy titles! "Raw, Brutal, Rough & Bloody"?
"Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat & Crucify"? "Legalize Murder"? Who can
remember BOTH of those words? I can't!!! What were they??? "Legalize
Puppy Dogs"??? "Larry Hagman Murder"??? Oh, my mind is an uncle to your
leftwing pinko ideals!!! "I Kill Everything I Fuck" is pretty much the
only funny title on here, unless you get a chuckle out of the novelty song
"Shove That Warrant Up Your Ass." Do you? GG died BEFORE this album was
released, and the back of the album cover has a tasteful picture of him
dead in his coffin, wearing underwear and holding a bottle of liquor as the other
Murder Junkies gather around, looking just as dead as he. For the record,
there's one other GG CD that is supposed to be really good that I've been
trying to hunt down. It's a collaboration he did with the band Antiseen --
a CD called, confusingly enough, Murder Junkies. Have you heard it?
Is it as good as that one guy told me it is?
If you ever get the opportunity, check out the GG documentary "Hated"(by
the same guy that made that movie "Road Trip" w/ Tom Green!?!?). In one
particularly interesting sequence, the maker of the film visits GG's hometown
of Bumfuck, New Hampshire and chats with the locals, including GG's high
school band teacher(GG Allin was a band geek?? Hahaha!!!!). Definitely
worth watching.
Some idiot visiting someone who lives on my floor once ate poop in the
hallway on a bet. I'll leave you with a quote from him: "Poop tastes REALLY
REALLY BAD!!
I think it's really pathetic that there's actually a following for this loser. The only people I ever hear praising this
guy are men thirty or over who are SO into being ant-establishment that they feel they HAVE to be a fan of this
guy. So he did everything his way, so what? If the only way he could get attention was to smear shit all over
himself and rape women, his way sucked!! What a fucking legacy....he has a fan base made up entirely of ex-punks
and hardcore horror/exploitation film geeks. I love punk (no, not Blink 182), I love horror films (no, not Scream), and
I believe in thinking for yourself. But I'm not going to proclaim myself a GG Allin fan just because 99% of the human
population never heard of him. And after reading these reviews, I could give a shit less if his music WAS great
(yeah, right. Like THAT'S the reason people buy his stuff-for his wonderful music). He was a dumbass, pure and
simple. I'll stick with the Misfits, Ramones, and Black Flag. Yeah, they're fairly well-known, and that ain't very
"punk", but at least they never ate shit and raped women. They were too talented for that...
I've never heard this album, but I've heard of that Have A Marijuana
album! Is it any good?
I actually thought that GG's early work with the Jabbers was his best stuff.
No out reachin' for shock value, just good ol' bad-attitude punk rock, the
way that it's supposed to be. But anyways, at random, this girl walked up to
me, and yelled "GG Allin is alive! GG Allin is alive!" to which I replied,
"Y'know, if you were one of the girls GG raped, you wouldn't be all that
stoked on him being alive."
Suicide Sessions is a one-dot album if I ever heard one. No way this
crap is four dots better than Family Man. Not that I'm saying Family Man
is great stuff or anything, it's just that all the criticisms you applied to
the music on that album apply here tenfold. Thank God I only downloaded this
off Napster and promptly deleted it. Just think: if Lars Ulrich would have
his way, I might have actually spent precious money BUYING that cd someday.
HEYell naw!!
I have that Murder Junkies cd, and it is good. Antiseen play catchy
rednecky punk rock that fits GG's style perfectly. Good tunes. The lyrics
are all that "kill everyone, MURDER!!! blah blah blah" that can be expected
from late-period GG, except for the song describing his prison stint in my
lovely home state of Michigan, in which he threatens to make his fellow
inmates his "baby boy".
Am I alone in thinking that everything GG did was crap?
OK, I'll have to admit- I've never heard a GG Allin song. I just read the reviews because I've heard a lot about how
psychotic he was. And ya know what?
Back
to the Stupid Prindle Review Site Thing