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| October 15th, 2001- Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I feel so alone and hopeless. As if we will never conceive. I have stopped charting. It is too depressing. I miss Amanda Joy today. Charlie is my source of comfort. What would I do without my little guy? He is so wonderful. If God never gives us another child, Charlie is enough. |
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| November 2, 2001 20 months ago, Amanda was stillborn. And still I am not pregnant. I find myself wondering what she would be like by now. I imagine her as a dark haired silly little girl. I think she would love Charlie and follow him everywhere. I can just see him getting exasperated at her. She drolling on all his toys, chewing them up. They would have been so cute together~! But now we are just kinda waiting for another baby. We haven't been really doctoring for it lately, just taking a break....hoping that it will happen on it's own, in God's perfect timing. |
| Feb 4, 2002 It's been awhile since I updated this..wow! Well I finally got my period on my own. We started exercisizing and whaaa laaa, it came! So now let's hope I can conceive!!! |
| March 18, 2002, Well I tested a while ago, and it was negative. I was soo bummed. I have just been an emotional basket case lately, crying and crying and crying. Maybe it was too soon to test.....there goes my HOPE again. STILL no AF since beginning of Feb. I think I will wait a whiel to test again. March 2nd was Amanda's 2 year in Heaven anniversay. That was a hard day. |
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