I did something very foolish during the winter months and got very ill. I had washed my hair covering it up but didn't dry it, got chilled, then very very ill from it. During the time I was ill I was very concerned about Grant, our son. He has faith that puts mine to shame, yet what was going to happen? I was anointed, yet I was not healed. Would he not believe the written Word any more?

I tried to explain to him that our Father uses all kinds of situations to teach us. Sometimes illness puts us in a position like no other does. With it He can show us areas to change, areas to repent, and can work with us most times as we are getting better in seeing things we have not seen before.

We go through all the stages of woe is me, do you not hear me, what did I do so bad that you will not heal me, then, why am I to learn in all this. David often said the same things.

I was telling Jack, my husband, tonight something that to me was very personal about the illness. I do not recommend it for any one else, it was a battle for me, and it had to be won in this way for me.

Many times Jack mentioned I might need to go to the Doctor and get antibiotics, and he could give me something to stop the pain. I told Him Yahweh knew it all, and He could stop it, I didn't need the Dr.

It all boiled down to this with me. I was told He is my healer and He would save me from the illness. To me that meant saved from death. Use to I would declare He was my healer, then before it was over I went for antibiotics. Some how this time it came down to standing in believing on Him, and in Him.

If I went to the Dr it was like this situation. A child goes to daddy for something. Dad says no, you may not have it. It may not be that it is even wrong for them to have it, but in that child not having it a lesson of great value was to be learned. The dad was lovingly teaching that child in a way that it could not learn though other means. The child doesn't like dads decision so goes to mom. Mom does not see any reason why that child can not have what they asked for. She doesn't know about dad saying no. So she says yes, and in the process a vital lesson is lost. Both parents loved that child. The child cheated itself and didn't know it.

To me, Daddy said no to healing me faster than normal would be. To go to the Dr was like saying, '' Daddy won't do it, but I know of a way around His decision."

I asked if it were His will would he let it pass, be healed sooner than normal, and by my not getting well sooner, He was saying it was not His will to do it that way. Saying my body needed help, and to get it was not wrong for me was wrong, as I asked the highest power in existence for that help. He did not let me die, and like my lungs were I could have. He fulfilled His word, that I would be saved in this illness.

I learned long ago, in discomfort from illness if I will let our Father, He will turn it into a blessing by teaching me things, letting me know me as I don't know me, and good does come from it.

I wanted the blessing more than to have my head stop hurting, my body wracking cough to stop, and my lungs to stop sounding like creaking doors, moose looking for a mate, and no sleep coming.

What if, the adversary was telling my Father these things? Look at her, just let her hurt, and you will see who she believes is her healer, you or some pill in a bottle! She will not worship you in all that pain, she will curse you. Let me have her, and I will show you just how much she loves you when I make her so miserable she can't think.

Well, he was not going to win. I kept thinking of Job, and what he must have suffered with those boils. I have seen folks with one, and saw the misery they went through! David, many times cries out about how ill he is, and he has been forsaken. In it all I thought about our Master hanging on a stake. What He went through for all of us hurt far more than any thing I suffered. Could I not suffer also to learn obedience?

I had it thrown at me and Jack years ago from a man dying with cancer that he was not healed because their was not prayers of faith for him. I had just last week written down something about that. I know the answer now. No it is not for the lack of prayers of the faithful, nor them not having faith. It is something going on between that person and the Father. If He does not heal and they die, then it was between the two of them.

I had prayers of faith said for me, I know if it had not been for them I would have been so much sicker. At times I felt that healing go through me, and I would be a wee bit better. I knew, I knew that I had been healed just a little bit more. It happened all through the time I was sick. A feeling like something settled in your body, and a peace was there, a knowing you had been touched.

I felt like Job. I had written an article with some ideas in it, and wanderings. Well, I am here to tell you I didn't know what I was talking about. The Father showed me some answers. Funny thing is when I was writing it down, it went through my spirit, you are going to live this article. Boy did I ever!

All rights reserved © His Decision Wed, 7 Jul 1999 07:01:21 -0700, by Mary Lois Bierman P.O. E-mail: mlbierman@yahoo.com Web page URL: www.oocities.org/mlbierman All (C) information must be with this article if used. Article may be shared, but not be included in anything charged for. Notification of it being use is appreciated.
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