New Years Day 2003 A Guid New Year tae yeese aw. I am 18 pounds heavier than I was this time
last year, all of it round the gut. I have been on a coconut and banana diet
since October. Ah huvnie lost any weight, but I am
brilliant at climbing trees. Ook! I have cut down on the Lager, and no
puddings at all. It is a bit of a strain aw this
cuttin’ doon on the starches. Do you think it’s a coincidence that stressed is desserts spelled backwards? Political Correctness gone mad in the UK. The British Red Cross have decided in their
“wisdom” to ban any reference to Christianity in their fourteen hundred or so
Charity Shops. Nae Nativity scenes, nae wee fairies wey Christmas trees stuck up their
bum, nuchin. A spokesman for The Red Cross stated
“We are a charity organisation dealing with all faiths and we do not want to offend
any Muslims, Jews etc. by appearing to be favouring Christianity”. Mind you, that did not stop a booklet
dropping through my door a month or so back, from The Red Cross, begging me to buy a box
of ten Christmas card from them at £12 for ten. Bloody hypocrites. They are well and truly off my donation
list. That may be a wee bit of an exaggeration,
as I don’t have a donation list. Charity begins at 1068 Cathcart Road. I am that poor, even the Ethiopians are
sending food parcels to Mount Flo. While I am on about begging. Glasgow must
be the capital city of beggars. There is one on every corner of the city centre streets,
whether harassing you to buy the Big Issue or sitting wey half a polystyrene cup shouting
abuse. I handed an Issue seller 80p, but did not
bother taking a copy. He came running after me shouting “Haw
you it’s a pound for that Another wan came up and said “Heh
mister gawnie gie us 50p furra sandwich” (I think he came from Edinburgh with that
accent) I said “Let me see the Sandwich
first”. Lynn is always shouting at me for giving
them my change. She says “They’re only going to buy alcohol with it. And I’m thinking like, and I’m
not. We are preparing for a war in the Middle
East early next year. There is a madman on the loose who is the
president of his country and got elected by a rigged ballot, and has access to nuclear and
chemical weapons. So we say Americans unite and go put the
loony where he can do no more damage. Get up out of your comfy armchairs today
and go vote Bush out the White House before he starts World War III. That’s meant to be a three, no a
hundred and eleven. I Know some of yoose urnae too bright. And who is Duby’s monkey? None other than oor PM, Bambi Blair They state that Saddam has evil weapons of
mass destruction. However, our own weapons of mass
destruction are all nice and friendly. Blair and his Labour Government have done
more harm to the working class in the past five years than the Tories did all last
century. I hate him like hell, as Ruth would say. His new plan is to scrap the retirement
age. Instead of putting yer feet up after you’re 65, they now expect you to
graft until yer 70. Can you imagine a fireman at 66 up a
turntable ladder, an old polis running after a shoplifter. Worse still, a 70 year old air hostess. That disne ber thinkin’ aboot.. And can you imagine oor Joe still on the
Stock Exchange floor at 69. Oh haud oan a minute ther’, ah kin see
him still making millions at that age. Other than that it has been a fairly
uneventful year. All the family are fit and well. Except furr me. Spondulitis, Arthritis,
Sciatica and the usual mental problems. Thank Goad ah’m no a hypochondriac. Oor John called from Oakville bang on the
Bells. That’s the Brother at his best. We have phoned Uncle Bill in Renfrew and he
is still “Wan o’the lucky So until next year. Eat drink and be merry Furr the morra wee diet. And a couple o’ McNaughtan things tae
check oot and a photie fae Porty on the 27th December. http://www.celtscot.ed.ac.uk/greig-duncan.htm http://www.diarmid.com/Pages/highlanders_m.htm Till next year Awrabest Davie DavidMcNaughtan@aol.com |
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