Author: MitchPell
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything that has to do with Smallville; it’s characters, DC comics, or the WB. I’m just using their stuff for a little bit of non-profitable fun.
Authors Notes: My thanks goes out to Adri for all the help! I had to through in all of the James. I reminds me so much of my family. My grandpa is named John, my dad is named John, and my brother is named John. Then I have an Uncle Mike and two cousins named Mike. LOL! Luckily everyone has nicknames! This is part of the Slash Advent Calendar Challenge situated at: http://www.kardasi.com/Advent. This is my first NC-17 story, so please rip it apart!
Summary: Most people assume that the Luthor Annual Christmas Party is a big company party. But what if it isn’t?
Email: mitchpell@yahoo.com
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A thirteen-year-old Lex Luthor quietly followed his father up the front steps of his Grandfather’s country home. He wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to be there or not. In some ways, it would be nice to be around other people. He didn’t know if he could stand to be alone with his father for another minute. But then, it was Christmas, and his mother wasn’t there. And she never would be again.
He stopped at the bottom of the steps and took a minute to compose himself, pushing back the tears that were building up behind his eyes. He took a deep shaky breath, watching his breath in the cold December air. He looked up at his father who was impatiently, yet silently, waiting for him at the top of the steps. Lex wondered if this was as hard on his father as it was on him. His father had been uncharacteristically understanding for the first few weeks after his mother’s death. Then what seemed like overnight, the understanding stopped, and his father became his usual overbearing, self-absorbed self. But tonight, he seemed a little softer. And for that, Lex was grateful.
“Lex,” Lionel called from the top of the steps. “You might not get sick anymore, but I do. And I don’t want to catch a cold while waiting for you in this frigid weather.”
Lex starred at his father for a minute. It just now occurred to him that his father always waited for him at the door. It was practically tradition for Lex to stop outside the house and reflect about something, anything really. He didn’t know why he did it, but he did. It was a habit, and one he didn’t see any reason to break. But for some reason, he just now noticed that his father would wait until he was done before entering the house. Lex didn’t know his reason for waiting. It probably had something to do with appearing as a family. But tonight, he was going to pretend that it was because his father cared. After all, it couldn’t hurt to pretend for just this once.
“Lex!” His father called a little more hotly.
“Sorry,” Lex said as he continued to climb the steps then followed his father into the house.
They were met at the door by Margaret, as usual. “Good evening, Mr. Luthor.” She said as she took his coat and scarf. And as usual, Lionel gave her a curt nod and then proceeded on into the house.
Lex let out a sigh as he removed his hat, gloves, coat, and scarf. “Hello, Margaret.” He said as he handed his stuff to her. He didn’t feel particularly chatty, but his mother had always been nice to the woman. And since she was gone, Lex figured he should at least make an attempt.
Margaret smiled down at him. “Hello, Lex. How are you doing?”
Lex tried to give her a small smile. “I’m,” he paused for a minute as if searching for the correct answer, “fine.” He finally told her. He just stood there for a minute as if contemplating his answer then snapped out of his trance. “You?” He asked.
“I’m fine, thank you.” She replied.
“That’s good.” He said absently. “Well I’m going to…” He gestured down the hall.
“Of course.” Margaret replied.
Lex gave her a small nod then made his way down the hall towards the kitchen. He entered the somewhat large room and found, as he expected, his grandma, his Aunt Mel, and Marie. He walked up to where his grandma was sitting at the kitchen table and wrapped his thin arms around. “Hi, Grandma.” He said before placing a small kiss on her cheek.
“Why, Lex,” Emma said, “I’m surprised that I didn’t have to guilt you into my kiss and hug this year.”
Lex smiled at her then sat down at the table. “I guess I just decided to save myself the trouble of trying to get out of it this time.” He lied. Truth-be-told he had just wanted that small amount of human contact that had been missing since his mother’s death. It was weak of him, he knew. But at the moment, he didn’t care. What his father didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. “So, how have you been, Grandma?” He asked.
“Oh, I’m doing well.” She told him. “I had a cold earlier this month, but I was able to get over it. So I can’t complain.” She looked at him for a minute then asked, “And how about yourself?”
“I’m fine.” He replied with a shrug of his shoulders.
Emma knew her grandson was lying, but decided she wouldn’t call him on it. She figured he wouldn’t want to talk with Melinda and Marie in the room. The room was uncomfortably silent for a while with no one really knowing what to say. “Well,” she finally said, “how about you and I join the rest of the family in the sitting room, Lex?”
“Alright,” he replied. He rose out of his chair and went to leave the room, but not before stealing a piece of turkey off the platter.
“I caught that, Alexander!” His Aunt Mel scolded.
Lex didn’t reply, however, he just merely continued down the hall behind his grandmother. The living room looked as it did every year. The same looking tree, the same train set running through the same small, the same stockings hung on the same mantelpiece, the same people sitting in the same places. Everything was the same, except for the vacant seat beside his father. Lex ran a hand over his smooth head then crossed the room and sat beside his father.
Neither his father nor his grandfather acknowledged his presence, but that didn’t bother him. It was almost better that way. The two never had anything pleasant to say about him anyway. Lex took the time to look over his family members. His Uncle James and his Aunt Meg appeared to be in a deep conversation. James and Lydia were sitting with their father looking bored. While William was avidly listening to whatever his Uncle Robert was telling him. Lex watched William and his Uncle Robert talking. He wished that he and his father had as amiable relationship as William appeared to have with Uncle Robert. But he knew that would never happen, so there was no use wishing.
He then directed his attention back to James and Lydia. The two were sitting as far away from each other as possible. Lex knew that they didn’t get along with each other half the time. And he idly wondered if he and Julian would have gotten along. Sure there would have been eleven years between them, which was a lot compared to the three years separating Lydia and James. But despite the difference in age, Lex thinks they would have been close.
He looked over to the mantelpiece at the four red stockings hanging there. There had been five one year, and he had to wonder what his grandmother had done with Julian’s. It was probably stuck in a box somewhere up in the attic, with all the long forgotten stockings of his father and his aunts and uncles, put into storage after they were deemed to old for such childish things. He wondered when his stocking would be added to that box. He was almost willing to bet money that it would be soon, too soon. Before he was ready to give up his childlike inclinations and act like a responsible young adult.
But then, with his mother gone he had probably already taken that step. There was no one left to baby him. His mother was dead and Pam had left. Lex scoffed. His father certainly wasn’t going to allow him to indulge in any of his previously childish habits. He was being forced to grow up, and he wasn’t ready.
Lex was startled out of his thoughts when Margaret entered the room and informed them that dinner was ready. He followed the rest of the family as they all filed out of the living room and into the dining room. He sat down at his usual seat and looked over at the vacant chair across from his father. As he looked at that open chair, he could only hope that diner would pass quickly.
To his relief it did, and he soon found himself trailing his three cousins up the stairs of the large house. But instead of heading off to the entertainment room, as usual, Lex turned toward his bedroom. However, this change in plan didn’t go unnoticed by James.
“Hey, Beets!” He called down the hall. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked.
Lex turned to face his cousins. “To my room.” He replied.
James scoffed. “No you’re not.” He stated.
Lex glared at him. “Excuse me?”
“We always play Monopoly after dinner, Lex. You just can’t go and break tradition!” James exclaimed.
“Yeah, well, maybe it’s time some of the traditions changed.” Lex replied before turning to go back to his room.
James snorted and rolled his eyes. “You know what, Lex.” He spat. “She died fucking months ago. Get over it already.”
Lex whirled around and looked at his cousin, his face a mixture of pure hatred and extreme anguish. “Don’t you dare!” He yelled. “You have no idea what it’s like! None of you! Your mother’s are all downstairs sipping imported wine and discussing the boring details of their fucking mundane lives! But mines not! And she never will be again, because she’s dead! And you have no idea what that’s like! So don’t you stand there and tell me to get over it!” With that he turned back around and stormed off to his room.
Lex slammed his door shut once he had entered his room. He flung himself on his large bed, and starred at the snow globe setting on his nightstand. Without thinking, grabbed the globe and threw it against his bedroom door. It hit the hard wood and shattered. Shards of glass fell to the floor in a shower of water and white flakes, accompanied by the heavy base of the globe.
Lex sat there on his bed for a minute, starring as the pool of water and glass ran across the floor of his bedroom. He slowly lowered himself to the floor and walked over to the chaos before him. He carefully reached out and picked up the base of the snow globe. The small figure of his mother had been completely busted off, and the upper half of his father’s was missing as well. Lex sat down on the ground, just out of reach of the puddle of water and the sea of glass, rotating the broken globe in his hands. He then placed the heavy base down beside him and began to search for the missing pieces of his mother and father. He found the upper half of his father first, which he carefully picked up and placed within the pieces of glass still branching up from the broken base. Then he found the figure of his mother. But when he reached up to pick her up, he flinched back as a shard of glass pierced his finger.
Lex watched the small droplets of blood well up then trickle down his slim finger. Fascinated, he picked up one of the larger pieces of glass and deepened the cut. And a thought occurred to him, as he watched the blood stream down his hand and puddle on the floor. It would be so easy. All it would take would be two swift cuts. No one would know. They wouldn’t come looking for him until morning, and by that time it would be hours too late. He eyed the sharp glass in his hand as he slowly turned over his left hand and exposed his wrist. But as he looked down, prepared to make the cut, he saw the face of Napoleon starring up at him. Appalled by what he had almost done, Lex dropped the piece of glass, hurriedly pushed himself off the floor, and backed up to his bed. He let himself fall onto the soft mattress, and sat there, starring at disarray across the room.
Lex gasped as he felt himself fall off his bed, hitting the ground with a yelp of surprise and a loud thud. He groaned as he rolled over and looked up at his ceiling. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he figured it must have been shortly after he broke the snow globe. He pushed himself into a sitting position then rubbed his hands across his face and head. He glanced up at the clock on his nightstand, which read 2:00 am. Stifling a yawn, he stood up and surveyed the mess. It hadn’t changed much since he had last looked at it, but it did appear that the floor had soaked up some of the water. Lex just hoped that it didn’t damage the floor or the ceiling beneath him, or his grandfather would be pissed.
He quickly snuck out of his room, carefully dodging the pieces of glass, and made his way down the bathroom. He grabbed a couple of towels then made his way back to the room. Before soaking up the water, Lex picked up the figure of his mother, placed it within the broken globe then placed the globe back on his nightstand. He then mopped up the water and glass with the towels. When he was finished he shook out the towels over his garbage can then tossed them in the hamper. That finished, he quickly changed into his pajamas then headed downstairs to the kitchen.
Lex flipped on the light in the kitchen and headed over to the refrigerator. He wasn’t the least bit hunger, but he didn’t want to just sit there at the table either. He spotted a bowl of grapes setting towards the back and pulled them out. He then sat down at the table and just kind of starred at the bowl of fruit.
“I didn’t realize fruit was so fascinating.” Emma Luthor remarked as she entered the kitchen and sat across from her grandson at the table.
Lex shrugged his shoulders. “I was just thinking.” He told her.
Emma nodded her head. There really wasn’t any need to ask what about, she was pretty sure that she already knew. She reached over and snapped off a small bunch of grapes and ate then silently, waiting for Lex to tell her whatever was on his mind. And after a few minutes he did.
“James told me I should be over it by now.” Lex told her. “And I thought I was, moving on I mean, especially after school started. But…around Thanksgiving, I started getting really depressed.” Lex let out a small humorless laugh. “We didn’t even really celebrate Thanksgiving. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. And I haven’t been able to stop since.”
Emma frowned. “Have you spoken to your father?” She asked.
Lex scoffed. “No. I can’t talk to him. He doesn’t listen to me. And besides, I don’t think he would understand anyway.”
“Alexander! Now, I know you father isn’t the warmest of individuals, but he did love your mother. Therefore, he is feeling the same lose that you are.” Emma informed him.
“Yeah, well, unlike my father I can’t replace my mother by inviting a million different women into my bed.” Lex shot back.
Emma sighed as she looked at her grandson. “No, I suppose not. I’m sorry, Lex, I didn’t realize he was doing that.” She knew that her thirty-one year old son had every right to sleep with whomever he pleased. But she didn’t much like the idea of him parading a million different woman of in front of her thirteen-year-old grandson.
“It’s alright, Grandma. After all, he should be allowed to move on with his life shouldn’t he?” Lex asked.
“Of course he should, Lex. But so should you.” Emma replied, giving him a small smile.
“Well, I’m going to go back to bed.” Lex told her after a moment of silence.
“Alright.” Emma said. Sensing that Lex still needed to get something off his chest, she followed him up the stairs to his room.
“Grandma, what are you doing?” Lex asked as he started up the stairs.
“I’m coming with you.” She told him.
Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to convince her otherwise, Lex merely sighed and shook his head. “Whatever.” He mumbled, before continuing towards his room. Once there he made his way over to his bed and lay down.
Emma followed Lex into his room and sat down on her edge of his bed. She glanced over at the nightstand and noticed the broken snow globe. “What happened to your snow globe?” She asked him.
“I broke it after a fight with James.” He told her. He reached out and picked up the figure of his mother and just looked at it for a minute. He could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes and he took a deep breath. “You know, I never got to say goodbye.” He whispered. “I kept looking and looking for a cure, something, anything to allow her to hang on just a little bit longer.” He paused around the hitch in his breathing. “But, there was nothing, no miracle cure or operation, and she died. And I wasn’t there.” At that moment, the tears that he had been holding back since last May started to fall. Lex clutched his pillow tight to his chest. “I didn’t get to say goodbye,” he repeated. “I didn’t get to tell her I loved her one last time. And now I never will.”
Emma pulled her grandson into a hug and held on to him as his body shook with his broken sobs. Lex buried his face into the crock of her neck, and let the tears fall. “And it wasn’t just mom, but Julian and Pam too. They all just left me. Why did they leave me?” He choked out.
“It’s alright, Lex,” Emma said as she rubbed circles on his back. “Just let it all out.”
So he did. He just held on to his grandmother and let all his grief flow out of him along with his tears. He wasn’t sure how long he cried. And he didn’t really care, because when the sobs finally stopped he felt better. The loss was still there, but it felt as if a great weight had been lifted off his chest. He finally pulled back from the comfort of his grandmother’s arms and wiped his running nose and eyes on his shirtsleeve. He took a few deep, calming breaths then gave his grandma a small smile.
“Do you feel a little better now?” She asked him.
“Yeah, a little.” He replied, as he looked down at the red-haired figurine still in his hands. “Does it ever go away?” He asked. “The pain, I mean?”
Emma shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. It will fade.” She told him. “But it will never be completely gone.”
Lex nodded his head in understanding. “I didn’t think so.” He whispered.
They sat in silence for a minute then Emma said, “How about you try and get some sleep, now?”
Lex rolled his eyes then buried himself underneath his blankets. He reached over and placed the figure on the broken globe base, before turning back to his grandma.
“Do you want me to have the globe fixed?” She asked him.
Lex looked back over at the globe and the jagged glass edges sticking up out of the base. He took in the whole yet detached figure of his mother and the mangled figure of his father. He thought about the events that led to the marred state of the globe and what had almost occurred afterwards. He then turned back to his grandma and shook his head. “No,” he told her. “I want to keep it as it is.”
Emma frowned. “Alright, if that’s what you want.” She squeezed his hand then rose off the bed. “Sleep well, Lex.”
“Good night, Grandma.” He replied. He watched her walk towards the door then called out, “Grandma.”
“Yes, Lex?”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” And with that she left the room, and closed the door behind her.
The following morning flew by as it always did. Lex was surprised when James actually apologized to him. But he quickly recovered from his shock and graciously accepted the gesture. After breakfast, the family held the usual gift exchange. He received the usual clothes and books on history, world domination, and the likes from most of his family. But his grandmother, however, gave him a book of collective poems, something his mother would have owned. He ran his hand over the hardbound book then gave her an appreciative smile.
As Lex bundled up to face the cold December weather, he reflected on what his grandmother had told him. He knew things would never be the same without his mother, but that didn’t mean that he had to be miserable. Therefore, it was with newly found hope that Lex Luthor kissed his grandma goodbye, before walking down the front steps of her house, and climbing into the car.
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A furious sixteen-year-old Lex Luthor stormed up the front steps of his Grandfather’s country home. He couldn’t believe he had been that foolish. He should have known better than to invite Jason up to the penthouse, but he had thought his father had gone out for the night. Plus he had never expected Jason to kiss him. Lex felt a smile creep over his face at the memory.
They had just been sitting there on the leather couch in the living room, talking amiably about nothing of importance, when Jason had just leaned over and kissed him. Lex had been so stunned that he had just sat there. And Jason, fearing that his lack of response had meant that he had made a terrible mistake quickly withdrew. As soon as Lex had snapped out of his trance, he had hastily halted Jason’s frantic apologizes by shoving his tongue down his throat. Following the kissing was the light petting, which was then proceeded by the heaving groping.
Then before he knew what was happening, Lex found himself pressed deep into the couch. The last thing he wanted was for this to stop, but when he had felt Jason’s hands start to undo the button on his slacks, he froze. Jason had backed off a little at the sudden tension that had invaded Lex’s body. “I’ve never done this before.” Lex had told him. And it was the truth. Sure Lex had been with plenty of girls in the past two years. But he had never even entertained the fact that he was interested in men, at least not until he had meant Jason.
When Lex first recognized his attraction to his friend he had been horrified. He had thought it was just one more thing to add to list of everything else that was wrong with him. It was another reason he was a freak of nature. So he had suppressed his feelings and attempted to hide beneath the cloak of friendship. But apparently, Jason had seen the truth. And when it became apparent that Jason wanted to do more than just make out, Lex had been extremely nervous and even a little scared.
But Jason had just smiled reassuringly down at him. “Don’t worry.” He had whispered in his ear before he began sucking on his earlobe. “I’ll guide you through it.”
“Lex!” Lionel yelled, interrupting Lex’s thoughts just as he had interrupted his actions the night before. “I’m not finished speaking with you!”
Lex turned and snorted at his father. “Well, I’m through listening. So go preach to someone else.” He then continued to walk up the steps, however his progress was hindered when his father grabbed his arm and spun him around.
“Don’t you turn your back on me, boy!” Lionel spat. “Now you will listen, and you will do as I say, do you here?” When Lex didn’t respond Lionel shook him rather roughly. “I said do you hear me!” He shouted.
“Yes!” Lex snapped, then continued more quietly. “I hear you.” He kept his gaze firmly planted on the ground, unable to look his father in the eye.
“Good.” Lionel said, stopping his shaking, but refusing to release his grip on his son’s arm. “Now, there will not be a repeat of last night. Am I understood?”
Lex scoffed then brought his eyes up to meet his father’s. “Yes.”
Lionel nodded his head then let Lex go. “I’m glad to see that you’ve decided to see the side reason.”
Lex let out a humorless laugh, as he watched his father start up the steps. “Yeah, you can be damn sure me and Jason will go to his house next time.” He called out, immediately regretting opening his big mouth as he watched his father once again close the distance between them.
“You are not to have any type of relations with that boy, ever again! And if I so much as here rumors of you being with another member of the same sex, I will turn your little world into a living hell!” Lionel spat.
“Well, that will be quite the feat, considering that it already is!” Lex shot back.
Lionel chuckled. “Oh, yes. How could I have forgotten? Please forgive me, Son, for failing to remembering how cruel life has been to you.” He mocked before his eyes darkened and his expression set in an icy glare. “Trust me, Lex. You have never even come close to experiencing the type of suffering I’m talking about.”
Lex watched as his father went to walk away again. “Your threats don’t scare me, Dad.” He stated. He waited for Lionel to turn back around then continued. “You’re not going to do anything to me. I’m too valuable to you.” Lex chuckled at his father’s almost shocked expression. “Come on, Dad. Did you really think that I’d believe for one minute that you’d actually harm your one and only heir?” He walked confidently up to his father. “You need me, Dad. I have no reason to fear you.” With that Lex quickly walked past his stunned father and into the house.
Lex didn’t stop walking until he was safely inside, and the door was shut behind him. He tore his coat off and shoved them towards Margaret then hurried down the hall to the kitchen. Once he had reached his destination he dropped himself into a chair and let out a sigh of relief. He could not believe the extent to which he had just mouthed off to his father. The thought was both frightening and invigorating all at the same time.
Emma Luthor gasped when she saw her grandson’s face. “Lex! What happened?” However, her concern quickly turned accusatory. “Did you get into another fight at school?” She demanded.
Lex rolled his eyes. “No, Grandma.” He considered telling her that he had actually had a fight with his father. But then again, he didn’t think it would be wise to inform her that the reason the right side of his face was now a rather colorful collage of blues, blacks, purples, and yellows, was because his father had a rather violent reaction to finding his sixteen-year-old son engaging in sexual activities with another man. “I…it wasn’t at school. I went to a club last night and things got a little out of control.” He lied.
“Alexander Luthor!” Emma exclaimed. “Those clubs are going to be the death of you!”
Lex just chuckled. “They’re really not that bad, Grandma.” He told her.
Emma huffed. “Barely clothed underage children dancing inappropriately while hopped up on who knows what kind of drugs and drinking themselves into oblivion is not that bad, Lex.” She paused for a minute before continuing. “And if that is a little out of control,” she said while gesturing at his bruised face. “I’d hate to see what would happen if things got really out of hand.”
“Don’t worry, Grandma,” he assured her, “I’ll be careful.”
“You’d better.” She said sternly. “Now, come over here and give me my hug and kiss.”
Lex smiled at her then got up out of his chair to comply to her demands. He had just pulled back from her when his father stormed into the room.
“Alexander!” Lionel bellowed. “How dare you walk away from me? We aren’t done talking until I say so!”
“Yeah, we’ll you seemed to be out of things to say, so I just assumed you were done.” Lex shot back.
“So, confident in yourself aren’t you, Lex. You might think you’re irreplaceable, but if you continue to push me you’ll see just how wrong that assumption is.”
Lex cocked an eyebrow at him. “What are you going to do, Dad? Start pulling the illegitimate children out of the woodwork? I can just imagine how well that will go over with the media.”
“I happen to believe that any illegitimate child of mine would be less of a disgrace than you, Lex.” Lionel watched with satisfaction as Lex flinched ever so slightly. He knew how to play off his son’s weaknesses. He was well aware of the fact that despite his dislike for his father, Lex wanted nothing more than to please him. “But, you have a point about the press, son. Though, I’m inclined to believe that the media will take the news of my illegitimate children slightly better than your classmates will about the fact that the school freak is also a homosexual.”
“Lionel!” Emma exclaimed. She was shocked at the way her son was speaking to her grandson.
“Stay out of this, Mother.” Lionel told her. “This is between Lex and I. I realize he tried to come in here and hide behind you, but he’s no longer a child. He has to face the consequences of his actions.” He stated. “And it’s high time he learned that some things are simply unacceptable!” He practically shouted directly in Lex’s face.
“Why?” Lex asked quietly, so quietly in fact that his father almost didn’t hear him. “Why do you care about this? You could care less about anything else I do, so why this? Why choose something I have no control over?”
“No, control over it? Don’t even try to tell me that you have no control over this, Lex!” He yelled. “What is it? Huh? Not man enough for the woman? Is that it? Couldn’t they accept the fact that your legs are smoother than theirs? Because that I could believe! Not this…this lack of control over who you are and who you aren’t attracted to.”
Lex didn’t say anything. He just kept his gaze fixed on the hard wooden floor and tried to keep from flinching at the cut of his father’s words.
Lionel laughed at Lex’s lack of response. “What’s the matter, Lex? What happened to the confidence and the cocky attitude?” He asked. “Or does that only come after you’ve taken it up the ass?” When Lex still didn’t look at him, Lionel grabbed hold of his chin and whipped his face up. “Look at you.” He sneered, his fingers digging into the already bruised flesh. “Your mother would be appalled.”
Lex jerked himself free of his father’s grasp. He looked at his father in disbelief, through glazed eyes. He then allowed his gaze to shift to the doorway where the rest of his family were standing, gawking at the scene before them. Mortified and ashamed, Lex quickly pushed past them and headed towards the front door. Barely stopping to grab his coat, the last thing he heard was James’s “What? Beets is a fucking fairy, now?” before he hurried out the door and into the cold night air.
Lex slipped his coat on as he made his way down the front steps, down the steps, across the lawn, and onto the paved drive. He didn’t know where he was going. All he knew was that he had to clear his head. And he couldn’t do that in that house. As he walked down the driveway, he pulled his hat and gloves out of his pockets and put them on. Soon, he was past the gate and well on his way down the road.
As he walked he let his mind drifted back to last night’s events. It had been unlike anything he had ever experienced before. The feel of Jason’s solid muscles beneath his fingers and Jason’s strong hand wrapped around his sex were completely different from anything he had felt. He’s not sure how far they would have gone. He didn’t know whether they would have kept it limited to hand jobs, or if it would have escalated into more, because the next thing Lex knew Jason was being ripped off of him by his father.
It had taken him a minute to react to the abrupt interruption. But as soon as he did, his pants were back up and he was trying to stop his father’s assault on Jason. Lionel was shoving Jason, accusing him of taking advantage of his sixteen-year-old son. Lex had tried to get his father to stop, to get him to calm down. But Lionel wouldn’t listen.
“Stay out of it, Lex!” He had demanded. And when Lex didn’t, Lionel had lightly pushed him out of the way. However, in his rage, the light push was actually a violent shove that sent Lex flying across the room.
He had stumbled, trying to keep his feet under him, but he failed. And on his way to the floor the side of his face had caught the edge of the coffee table. The sickening sound of flesh hitting solid sharp oak drew the attention of both Lionel and Jason. And in an instant, Jason was by his side, trying to assess the extent of the damage.
Lex was seeing stars and tasting blood, and all he could hear was Jason’s demands to let him see. But Lex couldn’t. All he could do is lie there and clutch his face as he rocked himself back and forth. It hurt, god it hurt worse than anything he had ever experienced before. He then felt a pair of strong arms pull him close, into someone’s lap. The arms just held him for a while, and then one of them slowly pried his hands from his face. If the gasp that followed was any indication, Lex figured it must have looked just as bad as it felt. He didn’t bruise easy, but the pallor of his skin made even the smallest of contusions appear quite vivid.
Eventually, Lex risked a glance at his father. Lionel was just standing there with what could only be described as a thoroughly guilty expression plastered across his face. And Lex watched as the guilt turned to understanding, and understanding turned to pure fury. “Get out!” Lionel had demanded.
“No!” Jason shot back.
“This is my house!” Lionel yelled. “And I want you out!”
Lex could see that Jason was about to protest even further, so he squeezed his hand in order to gain his attention. “Just go, Jason.” He told him. Jason had looked at him uncertainly for a minute. “Go,” Lex repeated. “I’ll be alright.”
“Ok,” Jason replied. He then planted a quick kiss on Lex’s bare scalp before getting to his feet and heading out the door.
Once Jason had left, the room was filled with a silence that was only disturbed by the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Lex sat there, on the floor, waiting for his father to start laying it on him. But he never did. And at the continued silence, Lex turned to his father. “Wow, I’ve rendered the great Lionel Luthor speechless.” He said. When his father still didn’t say anything, Lex raised an eyebrow at him and asked, “Are you really that surprised you have a gay son, Dad?”
Those words seemed to snap Lionel out of his revere. “Get up, Lex.” He demanded.
Not wanting to infuriate his father anymore than he already had, Lex slowly began to make his way to his feet. His progress was hindered, however, by the pounding in his head and the dizziness that mere thought of movement seemed to invoke. This obviously didn’t sit well with his father, because the next thing he knew Lionel had grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to his feet as if he were a rag doll.
Lex swayed, only remaining upright by the firm gripped his father had on his arm. He could barely make out what his father was ranting about, as his vision started to fade in and out.
“Of all the stunts you’ve pulled to get my attention, Lex, this one is by far the worst.” He heard Lionel spat.
Lex looked at his father. “Dad,” he said. “Not everything has to do with you.” And that is the last thing he remembered, before waking up in his bed the next morning with a splitting headache.
Amazingly enough, his father didn’t bring up the subject throughout the entire day. In fact it wasn’t until after Jason had called him on the way to his grandparent’s that the matter came up at all. But as with all storms, once the proceeding calm had ended, it surged in with an unmerciful fury.
Lex shivered and pulled his coat tighter around him as he continued to walk down the dark abandoned road. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to go back to that house. He was just so confused. He was being accused of being something that he wasn’t even sure he was. What if it had just been a fluke? What if he had just reacted to Jason because he was an extremely horny sixteen-year-old boy, who had just been kissed by his closest friend?
He just wished he had some guidance, some one to tell him that what he was feeling was normal. He felt as if his life was one of the many fancy sports cars he couldn’t wait to own that had suddenly hit a patch of black ice and was now spinning at of control at a hundred miles an hour. And being as he just got his driver’s licenses, he had no idea how to prevent himself from crashing. His father was no help, because all he wanted to do was force Lex out of the driver’s seat and take the wheel himself. So, Lex was stuck teaching himself. Which only proved to make things harder and take longer to overcome.
But he had to admit that, while it may be difficult, it also made him stronger. It made him self-sufficient, less dependent on others. Was he was bi-sexual? He didn’t know. All he knew was that until his father had shown up, he had been having a great time.
With that in mind, Lex dug his cell phone out of his pants pocket and dialed the familiar number. After the forth ring, he had considered hanging up, but stopped when the line was picked up. “Hey, Lex,” a male voice said.
“Hey, Jason.” He paused for a minute then asked, “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”
“No, no!” Jason assured him. “Well, just dinner, nothing too important. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to apologize for the abrupt ending of your previous call. As soon as my father found out who it was all hell broke lose.” Lex told him.
“Don’t worry about it. I figured something like that happened. You alright?” He asked.
Lex sniffed, the cold air causing his nose to run a little. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You sure? You sound a little funny.” Jason said, concern evident in his voice.
“No, it’s just this cold air making my nose run.” Lex explained.
“Oh, I see. You running away from home?” He teased. “Because if so, let me know, and I’ll join you.”
Lex laughed. “As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think we’d get very far before they found us.” He told him. “No, I was just taking a walk, clearing my head.”
“Both figuratively and literally it seems.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“How’s your face?” Jason asked.
“Sore.” Lex admitted. “And quite colorful.”
“I can imagine.” Lex heard voices in the background, before Jason spoke again. “Hey, I hate to run, but my mom’s starting to nag. You have stop over once you get back from Hell, though. I still have to give you your Christmas gift.”
“You didn’t have to get my anything, you know.” Lex told him, as he stopped to lean against the rail of a bridge the road had opened up to.
Jason snorted. “Yeah, right. Then I’d have to watch you mope around all day. No thank you.”
“Gee, thanks. You sentimentality just warms my heart.” He said, his voice laced with sarcasm.
“Well, I do try.” Jason said through a slight chuckle. “Well, hey, I got to go. So I’ll see you soon?”
“Definitely. Bye.”
“Ok, see yah.”
Lex felt a smile creep over his face as he put his cell phone back in his pocket. He let out a sigh and watched the steam of his breath vanish into the cold night air. He turned around and looked down at the small stream below him. He just stood there for a while watching the cold water rush over the rocks of its bed. That small phone call had helped a lot. He still didn’t know if he was gay, or bi, or whatever. But he did know that he didn’t have any qualms about taking his friendship with Jason to the next level. And if his father didn’t like that well then fuck his father. He never liked anything Lex did anyway. Lex would handle this, just like he handled every other curve that life had to throw at him. And so far, he had managed to come out on top. As the water of the stream flowed around the barriers of the rocks, he’d surpass the barriers in his own life.
Contented, Lex glanced down at his watch. It was already eight o’clock, which meant that he’d be out there for little over two hours. He’d been gone longer than he thought. Everyone else was probably sitting in the living room right now, or in the entertainment room. But, he wasn’t ready to go back yet. So he just kept walking, taking in the peacefulness of nature. The ground was covered with a think layer of powdery snow, as where the few scattered trees. The light of the moon reflected off the white ground, and the stars shown brightly in the dark sky. It was quiet, beautiful, tranquil.
The shrill of his cell phone broke through the pleasant calm. Lex pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was the house. He quickly hit ignore then simply shut the phone off. He didn’t want talk to them. He just wanted to be alone.
Lex wasn’t sure how much farther he had walked. But when he saw the first glimmer of lights from a nearby farmhouse, he knew it had been far, probably too far. With a sigh, he took one last look around him and started heading back to the house.
It was a little past midnight by the time he finally entered the warmth of the foyer. He shrugged off his snow-dampened coat, hat, scarf, and gloves and hung them in the hall closet. He then slipped his shoes off and began to make his way towards his bedroom. However, he stopped when he saw the light on in the kitchen. He stuck his head into the room and saw his grandmother sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. “Grandma?” He asked. “What are you still doing up?”
Emma Luthor whipped her head around at the sound of Lex’s voice. She jumped off her chair and pulled him into a hug. “God, Alexander, you scared the life out of me.” She just held him for a minute before backing up and glaring at him. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.”
“I just went for a walk.” He told her.
“You’ve been gone for more than six hours!” She exclaimed.
“It was a very long walk.” He said smugly. Emma just continued to glare at him. “What?” He asked. “I needed to think, alright, and I couldn’t do that…not here. Not with him.”
His grandma gave him a slightly sympathetic look then grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him into the kitchen. “Goodness, you’re hands are like ice!” She exclaimed. “Didn’t you have the sense to put any gloves on?”
“Yes, Grandma,” he replied. “But like you said, I was gone for six hours.”
Emma shook her head. “Sit.” She ordered, before going to start a fresh pot of coffee. “I swear, Alexander, one would think you were six instead of sixteen.” After getting the coffee going, she turned back to him. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to heat you up something?” She asked.
“I’m fine.” He told her.
“Nonsense. I know you, Lex. You probably haven’t eaten all day.” With that she started rooting around in the refrigerator.
“You really don’t have to do that, Grandma.” He said.
“You know, I called that cell phone of yours close to twenty times. And I kept getting that infernal voice mail.”
“That’s because I shut it off.”
Emma stopped scooping peas onto the plate she was making. “Now why would you do that?” She demanded.
Lex shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I like I said, I needed to think.”
“Unbelievable.” Emma muttered. Nothing more was said until she had slapped the plate of microwave heated leftovers and a cup of coffee in front of him. “Now, eat.” She told him.
Lex chuckled a little. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t you laugh at me, Alexander. There is nothing even remotely funning about tonight!” Emma scolded. “I have been here sitting fearing the worst for most of the night. I was just about to call the police and report you missing.”
Lex looked down at the plate of food in front him. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I didn’t think you would worry.”
“Wouldn’t worry? How could I not worry? You simply disappeared.” She demanded.
Lex shrugged his shoulders. “Dad never does.” He lifted his bruised face and looked at her. “Sometimes I think that it would take weeks before would even notice I was gone.”
Emma’s expression softened. “What did you need to think about?” She asked, gently.
“A lot of things.” He told her. “But mostly last night.”
She nodded her head. “Your father told us what happened.”
Lex sighed and rolled his eyes. “Great! I can just imagine what he told you.” He scoffed.
“Well, you didn’t stick around long enough for us to hear your side.” She stated.
“How was I supposed to stay?” He asked. “He humiliated me in front of the entire family!” He exclaimed. “And I saw. I saw the looks on their faces. You can’t tell me they would have been anymore understanding than my father was.”
“Actually, I could, Lex. We had quite the discussion all through-out dinner on the topic of homosexuality.” She informed him. “And despite what you might think, not everyone is as closed minded as your father.”
“Oh, God. That’s just what I need, my family sitting around discussing my sex life.” He muttered before dropping his head into his folded arms. Having forgotten his bruise he jerked his head back up at the pain that coursed through his face. “Fuck!” He cursed.
Emma reached across the table and gently turned his head to get a better look at him. “Are you going to tell me how this really happened?” She asked.
He sighed. “Coffee table.” He told her. “I fell and smacked it off the corner of the coffee table.”
“How’d you fall?”
Lex rolled his eyes. “It was an accident alright. He doesn’t beat me.”
Emma narrowed her eyes. “I never said he did.”
“No, but I could tell that is where you were going with this.”
She sighed. “I just worry about you, Lex.” She said.
“Well, don’t alright. I can take care of myself.” He then shoved his chair back and got up. “I’m going to bed.” He told her before kissing her cheek and heading towards the door.
“Lex.” She called, causing him to stop in the doorway. “Give them a chance. You can’t expect them to change over night.”
“Thanks for the dinner.” He replied, before leaving the room and heading up to his bedroom.
Once in his room, Lex peeled off his clothes and slipped on a pair of flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt. He pulled back the covers on his bed and climbed in. Before shutting off his bedside light, he looked at his broken snow globe and the figure of his mother that it held within it. He slipped his watch off and set it beside the globe, before turning off the light and drifting off to sleep.
The next morning, the family sat through an awkward breakfast. No one brought up the subject of Lex’s sexuality or his sudden disappearance last night. And that fact both relieved and upset him. He was relieved, because he really didn’t want to discuss it. But the lack of acknowledgement of last night’s happenings made him feel as if they didn’t care. He had risked a few glances at his father, but the man seemed to refuse to look at or speak to him. Even James was unusually quite.
The tension seemed to ease a little once they had moved into the living room. The exchanging of gifts the main focus of everyone’s attention. Lex got his usual gifts. In fact he could probably guess just who exactly was going to give him what, which sort of took the fun out of Christmas. But the one person, whom he never knew what they were going to give him, was his grandmother. And that year, she handed him a small box that contained the keys to a brand new silver-blue Porsche. To put it mildly, Lex had been ecstatic.
For the first time in a long time, Lex was uncertain about what the days after Christmas were going to bring. His father and he hadn’t resolved anything. But at least his grandmother had bought him a few hours more time, before that final confrontation, as well as a means to escape if things got too serious. Therefore, it was with a bit of reluctance that Lex Luthor kissed his grandma goodbye, before walking down the front steps of her house, and climbing into his car.
TBC...
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