Speaking in reverence to the wizard boy who unnaturally became a national phenomenon, Harry Potter suffered an underprivileged life with Muggle-born (non- magic people) Dursley family of Privet Drive 4. Orpahned at one year old by the darkest known Dark Arts wizard Lord Voldemort, his parents were murdered right in front of him by curses of the Dark side. Turning to the last remaining survivor of his hexes, little baby Harry, he zapped a nasty curse at Harry, juts as mercilessly at his parents, that, surprisingly, rebounded to the curser and left Voldemort fleeing the authorities barely alive. The Durselys, having no choice when he was left at the doorstep by Rubeus Hagrid; (the Hogwart’s grounds keeper) they faced the life with a person they resent. While Harry suffered in the presence of the Dursley family baby Dudley; a porkish lump of a boy who couldn’t do anything else in his life but eat, watch TV and play “Harry Hunting” with his equally piggish and stupid friends at school, his uncles and auntie were no help; they encouraged the behavior.    One day, 10 years after baby Harry’s arrival at Privet Drive 4; Rubeus Hagrid, the giant of a man that is the Keeper of Keys of Hogwarts:

“You don’t know who you are…” Hagrid muttered running his hand through his hair.

“STOP! I FORBID YOU!’ screamed Uncle Vernon.

“Ah, boil your heads you two. Harry, yer a wizard…”

RATING FOR THIS BOOK:

Very Good

BUY IT.

Cyberwar Against Osama Bin Laden

At the eve of the memorial of the bereaved World Trade Center Bombing, net nerds, professional computer programmers and amateur web surfers have found an outlet for their great dislike for Osama Bin Laden, his supporters and his despicable network of terrorists and Muslim bandits. Many computer antics put up  sites devoted to kicking Osama Bin Laden’s ass by the use of games, toons and portals devoted in humiliating him in any possible way. Violence and morality experts need not be alarmed.

Once I was stuck in a bumper-to-bumper traffic on my way to the mall, and through the suffocating fumes and incredible heat, I overheard the following dialog between two obviously dumb individuals driving tricycles. (Pardon the term.)

Driver 1: Wala na ‘to pare. Mula highway pa lang traffic na! (This traffic seems to go on forever! Even from the highway, you can’t budge it!)

Driver 2: Oo nga e… (Yeah…)

Driver 1: Aabutan na tayo ng ulan dito, di pa rin gagalaw yan.(Rain’s coming, and this damn traffic still won’t move.0

Driver 1: Wala talagang disiplina yang mga gago sa harap. Jeepney pa naman. (Those bastards at the front really don’t have any discipline. And to think he’s driving a jeep!)

Driver 2: Tsk, tsk. Wala e. Kung may disi-disiplina ka pa sa kalsada, hindi ka kikita. (Well, that’s life. With discipline, you can’t earn anything out on the road.)

            The rest of their conversation was a blur of stupidity and street talk, so I didn’t pay attention to them anymore. What interested me was the fact that these two bozos didn’t realize that what kept them alive and in one piece out in the street while they drove their clanking motorbikes was the discipline of their fellow drivers. Yet these two shenanigans believed that earning money has something to do with shrugging of self-discipline in the road. In that case, why shouldn’t a ten wheel truck just run the over them during a slick night rain and traffic to save time, since they would never be seen amidst the blood and rubble of the incident?

Marius L. Carlos Jr.

Just thinking aloud.
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(The History of the Gray Monster)

by: Marius L. Carlos Jr.

Long ago, to a time that exists now only in the dense pages of references such as Encyclopedia Britannica or Grolier’s Encyclopedias, in year 1623, a German scientist named Wilhelm Shikard invented a machine that used 11 complete and incomplete sprocketed wheels that could add, and with the aid of logarithm tables, multiply and divide. Then, John Napier, a British Mathematician, came up with the Napier’s Rod, a sheet of bone or ivory where the multiplication table is written in fraction form, so that it can be manipulated in accord with the solver ’s needs, whether it be addition, subtraction, multiplication or division. Later, Blaise Pascal, hand I  hand with Gottfried Lebniz (who designed the gearing system) invented the Pascaline, an improved version of Shikard’s device which can add, subtract, multiply and divide on its own.

Take a few more years and Joseph Marie Jacquard invented the first ever-specialized computer: a loom. Called affectionately the Jacquard’s loom, it used punch cards to program patterns that were output as woven patterns into fabric.

In 1820, the Father of Modern Computers; Charles Babbage, a British mathematician and scientist designed and assembled the Difference Engine. Although never completed by Babbage, the Difference Engine was intended to be a machine with a 20-decimal capacity that could solve mathematical problems. Armed with his past designs, he designed his second machine, called the “Analytical Engine”, now considered as the mechanical precursor of today’s modern computer. The Analytical Engine was designed to perform all mathematical operations efficiently but Babbage, lacking political skills never received necessary funding and support to build it.

Lady Ada Augusta Byron, countess of Lovelace, was a  personal friend and student of Babbage. She was the daughter of the famous poet Lord Byron and one of only a few woman mathematicians of her time. She prepared extensive notes concerning Babbage’s ideas and the Analytical Engine. Ada’s conceptual programs for the Engine led to the naming of a programming language, (Ada), in her honor. Although the Analytical Engine was never built, its key concepts, such as the capacity to store instructions, the use of punched cards as a primitive memory, and the ability to print, can be found in many modern computers.

Herman Hollerith, an American inventor, used an idea similar to Jacquard's loom when he combined the use of punched cards with devices that created and electronically read the cards. Hollerith's tabulating machine was used for the 1890 U.S. census, and it made the computational time three to four times shorter than the time previously needed for hand counts. Hollerith's Tabulating Machine Company eventually merged with two companies to form the Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company. In 1924 the company changed its name to IBM.   

Later after that, IBM created a prototype, name Honeywell 400, that was designed and built for business, and also  was able to store a suitable amount of information in terms of numbers and compute all mathematical operations at ease. Priced at $18,000.

In 1936, British mathematician Alan Turing proposed the idea of a machine that could process equations without human direction. The machine (now known as a Turing machine) resembled an automatic typewriter that used symbols for math and logic instead of letters. Turing intended the device to be used as a “universal machine” that could be programmed to duplicate the function of any other existing machine. Turing's machine was the theoretical precursor to the modern digital computer.

In the 1930s American mathematician Howard Aiken developed the Mark I calculating machine, which was built by IBM. This electronic calculating machine used relays and electromagnetic components to replace mechanical components. In later machines, Aiken used vacuum tubes and solid state transistors (tiny electrical switches) to manipulate the binary numbers. Aiken also introduced computers to universities by establishing the first computer science program at Harvard University. Aiken never trusted the concept of storing a program within the computer. Instead his computer had to read instructions from punched cards.

At the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, Hungarian-American mathematician John von Neumann developed one of the first computers used to solve problems in mathematics, meteorology, economics, and hydrodynamics. Von Neumann's 1945 design for the Electronic Discrete Variable Automatic Computer (EDVAC) was the first electronic computer design to incorporate a program stored entirely within its memory.

Between 1937 and 1939, while teaching at Iowa State College, American physicist John Vincent Atanasoff built a prototype computing device called the Atanasoff-Berry Computer, or ABC, with the help of his assistant, Clifford Berry. Atanasoff developed the concepts that were later used in the design of the first electronic digital computer, the Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer (ENIAC). Atanasoff's device was the first computer to separate data processing from memory. Atanasoff did not receive credit as the developer of one of the most important technological advances of the century until 1973, when a lawsuit regarding the patent on ENIAC was settled.

American physicist John Mauchly proposed the electronic digital computer called ENIAC and helped build it, along with American engineer John Presper Eckert, at the Moore School of Engineering at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. ENIAC was completed in 1945 and is regarded as the first successful, general digital computer. It weighed more than 27,000 kg (60,000 lb) and contained more than 18,000 vacuum tubes. Roughly 2,000 of the computer's vacuum tubes were replaced each month by a team of six technicians. Many of ENIAC's first tasks were for military purposes, such as calculating ballistic firing tables and designing atomic weapons. Since ENIAC was initially not a stored program machine, it had to be reprogrammed for each task.

Vacuum tubes, electronic devices, consisting of a glass or steel vacuum envelope and two or more electrodes between which electrons can move freely. The vacuum-tube diode was first developed by the English physicist John Ambrose Fleming. It contains two electrodes: the cathode, a heated filament or a small, heated, metal tube that emits electrons through thermionic emission; and the anode, or plate, which is the electron-collecting element. In diodes, the electrons emitted by the cathode are attracted to the plate only when the latter is positive with respect to the cathode. When the plate is negatively charged, no current flows through the tube. If an alternating potential is applied to the plate, the tube passes current only during the positive halves of the cycle and thus acts as a rectifier. Diodes are used extensively in the rectification of alternating current

Eckert and Mauchly eventually formed their own company, which was then bought by the Rand Corporation. They produced the Universal Automatic Computer (UNIVAC), which was used for a broader variety of commercial applications. By 1957, 46 UNIVACs were in use.

In 1948, at Bell Telephone Laboratories, American physicists Walter Houser Brattain, John Bardeen, and William Bradford Shockley developed the transistor, a device that can act as an electric switch. The transistor had a tremendous impact on computer design, replacing costly, energy-inefficient, and unreliable vacuum tubes.

By: Marius L. Carlos Jr.

            I’m no animal hater, you know (I love animals! They taste great!) But that doesn’t give anyone the right to release 3 flea bitten and stinking dogs to prowl unsuspected passersby’s and CLEAN dogs alike. Especially not your own next gate neighbor. But they do, the same perpetrators of the weekend pastor service. Now these filthy (pardon my expression) flea-bitten mongrels do much worse than their human counterparts (that is, the bullfrog choir every Sunday) they bark 24/7, day and night; not respecting even their owners and defecating their stinky and putrid doodle bombs on our lot for humans and dogs alike to tread upon and spread.  I have tried everything to ward them off, BELIEVE ME. Pellet guns, gate wood barriers, shouting, kicking, stones, talking to the owners (“Oh, but Hershey is harmless dear…”) moaning and finally giving up. I wonder how they sleep at night.

            Now, since having 8 apartments under our property to boast about (not!), I’ve got the best stories for Show and Tell (if there is any) Let’s start from the time line of “a few years ago…”

                                                            I

            In 1996, a family moved in to a big apartment near our house. The problem is, the father of the family is constantly drunk and you could say that he’s home faster than you can say “dumb drunk” just by following his obvious signs of distress whenever he arrives. First, a loud smash of the wooden screen door, a sickening squelch of the wooden door from being half pushed through the carpet lodging it always, and finally, another loud “POG POG POG “ at all the doors, signaling that he wants to wake up the whole house. They owned an equally annoying dog too. Blacky insists on chasing everyone with the works 24/7. I remember it cornering my cousin kuya Ernie. I never did find out how he escaped. All I remember that he wasn’t that keen on coming out with me anymore.

                                                            II

            2 years after that, a gang of school hoodlums arrived in one of the smaller apartments locate on the second floor. Many of the other occupants told me that they were notorious from other apartments that they have come from and school for being noisy. After a few months with the fellows, we discovered that they were a lot more than that. First, came the unbearable noise. They were making a racket to the wee hours of the morning, to the point when mom (with me of course) have to come up to their place and scold them to shut up. Coming back to the house, after a few hours of peace, they were back to their usual noisy stupor. Hmp. Another time, we discovered that they were roaring drunks in the regularity of Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekkyl. It began as a lark. There was a very large pack of students in their place from morning to the evening. Only when we heard their maniacal laughter that we realized that they were having a beer bash in our apartment! Coming up (once again…) to their den, mom scolded them hoarse until they apologized and put away their beer bottles. This went on for a couple more days until mom gave them a firm warning that they will be kicked out if they put another toe out of line. After a couple of days noise and beer free, we were about to relax when they had again made a racket into the wee hours and we had to march up to their burrow to warn them. After seeing what was happening, we realized that the goons were not only cigarette and beer bottle collectors, they were also GIRL HOARDERS! About half a dozen girls were packed in with them chatting animatedly until we came and told them to leave at the exact moment and for the men to leave at the end of the month. (Ha HA!)

                                                            III

            At the same year, we had another group who seemed very nice at first, but turned out they have to re-adjust their grouping because of one nasty culminating incident a dark night. I was watching television in one of our rooms when the light went out and a blood curdling, ear-splitting scream broke the dark. It turned out that a girl coming from the same group has inadvertedly become ‘possessed’ by a certain ghost from the cemetery near them and was bawling her lungs out. It took quiet a number of people to restrain her, until she came to her senses and we realized that she was crazy. (As her parents told us later) she had a few attacks before and we chucked her out. Serves her right for faking a soul possession.   

                                                            IV

            Now, this happened in 1999, not too long ago. A bunch of blokes moved in next door, and wouldn’t you know it, they all have character disorders of the sort. One played video games all day long, so you wake up and fall asleep with the sound of “tongyaw! ptsh! aargh! tongyaw!” another bloke sang his heart out literally. You can hear him belting his songs whether you’re eating in the dining room, taking a leak at the bathroom, sleeping in the bedroom, or talking in the living room. Still another played his guitar all day, in the regularity of his singing brother. What a bunch of odd balls and  eccentrics. The others filled their time playing tong-its, pusoy dos, playing the radio at full volume, smoking, smoking and smoking some more. Good thing one beer bash with girls brought mom to chuck them out. 

Politicians and Commoners Alike

            Called the Ateneo Aegis One (it even has a CD version!) it was divided into four volumes, each volume in its very essence different from another. Volume 1.1 bore the seal “First” on the cover, since all of you might have known, the Ateneo Batch 2001’s seals of prodigy or crests are the words: First, Unique, Independent, All, Last. Hence, their mantra: One is First, One is Unique, One is Independent, One is All, One is Last.

            Well, that’s a bit of background information, so here goes:

Book 1.1 FIRST: houses the graduates from the School of Humanities (the philosophers and writers…)

Book 1.2 UNIQUE: houses the graduates from the School of Management (the future HSBC chairmen…)

Book 1.3 INDEPENDENT: houses the graduates of the School of Science and Engineering (where my brother came from! J where the future Bill Gates and Larry Ellisons will emerge in waves on the coming decades…)

Book 1.4 ALL : houses the graduates from the School of Social Sciences (the politicians and debaters..)

Book 1.5 LAST: houses the different organizations and teams of Ateneo; such as The Blue Babble Battalion, KAINGING, COMPSAT and the Blue Eagles.

            Now, what I find amusing here, is that no matter how artistic, brilliant and learnt each and everyone of these people are, some have failed to write decent write ups, (you know that small piece of prose  beside the photo to describe the graduate) or some have the kind I call the Lunacies of Literature. Read on! J  

RYAN CHUA CHONG:

My ten most hated things:

1. Alternating current!
2. Electromagnetism.
3. Grid-locked traffic
4. Instantaneous Anything
5. Schroedinger’s equation
6. 2 projects at the same time
7. 0 food.
8. 0 money.
9. 1 last year at Ateneo. (I don’t want to leave yet!)
10. You figure out the tenth!

LEONARD MYCHAL PAULINO AMOSTOSO

Dear anonymous person chancing upon this write up, do you think the cutie pictures is:

a.)    a psychotic killer out for a taste of human flesh?

b.)    an innocent trapped in a web of deceit and lies?

c.)    an unassuming musical genius… or?

d.)    an albeit sexual offender?

If you answered “c”, then give yourself brownie points. (Although “d” is close enough”) Mikey has been writing the most addictive rock tunes since he was highschool and the foremost proof of this is his band Ciudad. However, Mickey has never let out his head out of proportion. We’ll miss him.

ALVIN MICHAEL CHING:

SELECT Student

FROM AdMU Batch 2001

WHERE Student thrives on responsibility

AND believes that grades aren’t everything, as long as it is at least 3.00

AND devotes a lot of time and extra effort for extra – curricular activities.

AND hung out at the caf during freshman year, at the lib, at the lib steps, at the MISA room at senior.

AND never runs out of stories with matching actions

AND can unexpectedly change from serious to light hearted

AND likes everything neat and orderly, OC

AND doesn’t like attention

AND like to eat, but can’t gain weight

AND fin a lot of people short

QUERY RESULT Alvin Ching

FLORENTINO DESTAO DULCE JR.:

Things you can quote me on:

# 1 Duh, duh, duh, and more duh (Note: this is first after all, doy = duh in some foreign languages.)

# 2 Patience is a virtue (Note: NASA scientists are still investigating in the truth of this statement.)

# 3 Eat pork, die happy.

# 4 Life is like baloney, no matter how thin you slice it, it’s still baloney.

# 5 World domination takes practice, so start early.

How to bake a Doy:

            Blend in practicality and pragmatism. Add a dash of humor, a sprinkle of sensitivity of sensitivity, and a huge passion for automobiles. Then make the dough plump, talkative and loud. Bake in reality for 19 years, chances are, you would have me, or if you over cook or overdo any of the ingredients and processes, Jay Leno. So far, my friends have told me this is my reality, How is yours?

MICHAEL CRISTOPHER CASTELLO

Write up draft # 1:

When Mich entered Ateneo, he was the “crush ng bayan”, after 4 years, we’d known better. (Ed’s note :Be positive.)

Write up draft # 2:

When Mich entered Ateneo, every girl dreamed of him. After 4  years, some of them still do. They are called nightmares. (Ed’s note: Be positive!)

Write up draft # 3:

When Mich graduated from Ateneo 4 years later, his parent dreams finally came true. (Ed’s note: Keep on…)

Write up draft # 4:

When Mich graduated from Ateneo 4 years later, we all knew his dream came true.

V. Gabe

VIDAH ZORA GABE:

(Mich rushes into room, where Jorms is pretending to work…)

Mich: Jorms! Help me! I promised Vida that I’ll write her write-up! It’s due today!

Jorms: What? She’s a better writer than the two of us combined!

Mich: I know!

Jorms: All right, let’s start (rattles off a list of words.)

Mich: She always puts too much salt in her fries!

Jorms: And always walks too fast! And never on the side walk! (laughs)

Mich: Man this is hard.

Jorms: Puwede bang pictue na lang niya? Maganda naman siya e.

Mich: Ah! (picking up a bookmark) “A real friend is there when you need him most!”

Jorms: Ok nga, corny nga lang.

Mich: Now we have to think how to make Vida’s write up stand out.

Jorms: I know! How about we write it up like a strip and then… (fade out)

            Well, how do you like the lunatics, er, write – up lunacy? Always remember, no one’s perfect!

Marius L. Carlos JR.