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| A TRIBUTE TO AN OFFICER |
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| WHEN GOD MADE PEACE OFFICERS WHEN THE LORD WAS CREATING PEACE OFFICERS, HE WAS INTO HIS SIXTH DAY OF OVERTIMEWHEN AN ANGEL APPEARED AND SAID " YOUR DOING A LOT OF FIDDLING AROUND ON THIS ONE." AND THE LORD SAID, "HAVE YOU READ THE SPEC ON THIS ORDER? A PEACE OFFICER HAS TO BE ABLE TO RUN FIVE MILES THROUGH ALLEYS IN THE DARK, SCALE WALLS, ENTER HOMES THE HEALTH INSPECTOR WOULDN'T TOUCH, AND NOT WRINKLE HIS UNIFORM." " HE HAS TO BE ABLE TO SIT IN AN UNDERCOVER CAR ALL DAY ON A STAKEOUT, COVER A HOMICIDE SCENE THAT NIGHT, CANVASS THE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR WITNESSES, AND TESTIFY IN COURT THE NEXT DAY." " HE HAS TO BE IN TOP PHYSICAL CONDITION AT ALL TIMES, RUNNING ON BLACK COFEE AND HALF EATEN MEALS. AND HE HAS TO HAVE SIX PAIR OD HANDS." THE ANGEL SHOOK HER HEAD SLOWLY AND SAID " SIX PAIR OF HANDS... NO WAY." " IT'S NOT THE HANDS THAT ARE CAUSING ME PROBLEMS," AND THE LORD, " IT'S THE THREE PAIR OF EYES AN OFFICER HAS TO HAVE." " THAT'S ON THE STANDARD MODEL THE ANGEL ASKED?" THE LORD NODDED. ONE PAIR THAT SEES THROUGH A BULGE IN A POCKET BEFORE HE ASKD, " MAY I SEE WHAT'S IN THERE, SIR?" ( WHEN HE ALREADY KNOWS AND WISHES HE'D TAKEN THAT ACCOUNTING JOB.) " ANOTHER PAIR HERE IN THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD FOR HIS PARTNER'S SAFTEY. AND ANOTHER PAIR OF EYES HERE IN THE FRONT THAT CAN LOOK REASSURINGLY AT A BLEEDING VICTIM AND SAY, YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT MA'AM WHEN HE KNOWS IT ISN'T SO" "LORD" SAID THE ANGEL, TOUCHING HIS SLEEVE, REST AND WORK ON THIS TOMORROW." "I CAN'T" SAID THE LORD " I ALREADY HAVE A MODEL THAT CAN TALK A 250 LBS DRUNK INTO A PATROL CAR WITH OUT INCIDENT AND FEED A FAMILY OF FIVE ON A CIVIL SERVICE PAYCHECK." THE ANGEL CIRCLED THE MODEL OF THE PEACE OOFFICER VER SLOW, " CAN IT THINK?" SHE ASKED? "YOU BE," SAID THE LORD. IT CAN TELL YOU THE ELEMENTS OF A HUNDRED CRIMES:RECITE MIRANDA WARNING IN ITS SLEEP: DETAIN, INVESTIGATE, SEARCH, AND ARREST A GANG MEMBER ON THE STREET IN LESS TIME THAN IT TAKES FIVE LEARNED JUDGES TO DEBATE THE LEGALITY OF THE STOP...AND STILL IT KEEPS ITS SENCE OF HUMOR. THIS OFFICER ALSO HAS PHENOMENAL PERSONAL CONTROL. HE CAN DEAL WITH CRIME SCENE PAINTED IN HELL HELL, COAX A CONFESSION FROM A CHILD ABUSER, COMFORT A MURDER VICTIM'S FAMILY, AND THE READ IN THE DAILY PAPER HOW LAW ENFORCEMENT ISN'T SENSITIVE TO THE RIGHTS OF CRIMINAL SUSPECTS." FINALLY, THE ANGEL BENT OVER AND RAN HER FINGER ACROSS THE CHEEK OF THE OLICE OFFICER. " THERE'S A LEAK," SHE PRONOUNCED. " I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO PUT TO MUCH IN THIS MODEL." "THAT'S NOT A LEAK," SAID THE LORD, " IT'S A TEAR." "WHATS THE TEAR FOR?" ASKED THE ANGEL "IT;S FOR BOTTLED-UP EMOTIONS, FOR FALLEN COMRADES, FOR COMMITMENT TO THAT FUNNY PIECE OF CLOTHES CALLED THE AMERICA FLAG, FOR JUSTICE." " YOUR A GENIUS," SAID THE ANGEL. THE LORD LOOKED SOMBER" I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE," HE SAID |