Announcer: We welcome you to our favorite day, TAX DAY! Today a group of
grateful billionaires wish to offer thanks and continued support to our U.S.
Senators and Representatives for faithfully voting to provide needed tax
relief. With a nation at war bleeding the public treasury, a trickle down
tax cut is more needed than ever!
Their courageous votes - on the very week our great nation went to war
supports Mr. Bush's heroic stealth campaign to bring an end to the "old" idea
of our government. Let's hear it for a great cause: freedom from government
for the people!
Billionaire # 1: It's a great pleasure to be here to honor our great Senators from Pennsylvania,
Arlen Specter and Rick Santorum. These public servants, on the opening day of our great war
on Iraq, took the opportunity and voted to move up repeal of the estate tax by a year!
Our next campaign is to end those terrible taxes on our inheritances and
dividends now and forever! AND, to show our gratitude for their true
patriotic support of a great cause, we honor two fine Senators from the
great state of Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum and Arlen Specter. We present
these plaques on behalf of the U.S.A. SAVE OUR BILLIONAIRES Foundation.
Thank you, Senators (slipping bucks into the Senators' pockets as they
present the plaque)
Announcer: And now please greet Ms. Mercenary Moneybags!
Billionaire # 2: We also are here to recognize our three Western
Pennsylvania members of Congress. On the second day of our patriotic war
Congresswoman Melissa Hart, along with her colleagues Phil English and Tim
Murphy, voted for the stimulating budget package Commander in Chief George
W. Bush has so wisely put forward.
We will continue to support this effort to repair the terrible damage the
previous Administration did to the economy. We are determined to press
forward despite the traitorous actions of Senators Olympia Snowe and George
Voinovich. We will free all good citizens from the tax on our dividends!
Despite what some may say, this is not a class war. It simply recognizes
that we are classy!
So to our dear friends, Melissa Hart, Tim Murphy and Phil English, we now
present these certificates of merit on behalf of the S.O.B. Foundation.
(envelopes have $$$$ sticking out)
The crowd BOOS!
Announcer: Wait! We have with us one more billionaire. He is here representing 1500 members of a group called Responsible Wealth. Please welcome Bill Gates, Sr.!
CHEERS from the crowd!
Billionaire Bill Gates, Sr.: Friends, we are 1500 billionaires and millionaires - including my son
- who say "you can't take it with you!" We recognize the contributions made by the citizens of
our great nation They are the workers who have built up our corporations and the taxpayers who
have sacrificed to educate the workers, to build the roads and bridges, to do basic research and provide needed services, and to support our system of justice, including our firefighters and the
police who risk their lives to keep the peace and ensure safety.
They are the ones who made it possible to accumulate great wealth under
this system. They deserve a share of our wealth when we go to meet our creator.
Crowd CHEERS & CHEERS!!!
Announcer: Moving on quickly, we have here a great industrialist from the past, our own Andrew Carnegie!
Andrew Carnegie: Yes, I know I was ruthless in my lifetime, but I made up for it by sharing my great wealth. My name is on the great libraries, music halls and museums that serve you even today.
Toward the end of my life I testified to the U.S. Congress:
"The growing disposition to tax more and more heavily large estates left at death is a cheering indication of the growth of a salutary change in public opinion. Of all forms of taxation this seems the wisest. Men who continue hoarding great sums all their lives, the proper use of which for public ends would work good to the community from which it chiefly came, should be made to feel that the community, in the form of the State, cannot thus be deprived of its proper share. By taxing estates heavily at death the State marks its condemnation of the selfish millionaire's unworthy life."
Announcer: Well, I suppose that is food for thought. But to close our
program we will now from Mr. Bush's hero, our late great President, Teddy Roosevelt!
Teddy Roosevelt: It was a rough ride for those Americans who had a hard time trying to make it in my time, back in the Gilded Age. Just like today the gap between the very rich and the rest of America became a huge gulf.
Announcer: HMMM! Moving on, we also will hear from one of our Founding
Mothers, Mrs. John Adams.
Abigail Adams: I do have a first name! Abigail may not be much in style
today, but neither are the ideas that my husband called a "revolution in
the hearts of the people."
I'm afraid too many people today know more about TV celebrities than about
U.S. history! Over 200 years ago we the people overthrew George the Third
and the aristocracy that ruled over the us. Today, to preserve that revolution the citizens of this great nation must revolt against George the Second, along with Dick Cheney and their powerful friends!
I find his policies to be revolting and un-American, if I do say so.
Announcer: Oh, I see Senator Olympia Snowe in the crowd. Please come up,
Senator, and try to explain to your benefactors your traitorous actions to
Bushwhack our Grand Old Party:
Senator Olympia Snowe: Dear Citizens, One or two determined people can
make a difference. Senator George Voinovich and I said NO to the
Administration's tax cut package and we made it stick - even in the face of
a military victory. We believe along with many business interests that huge
deficits of trillions of dollars will threaten the America way of life. This
fight was a victory for the people and against the special interests, even if I have
to pay a price!!
CHEERS!!! CHEERS!!!
Announcer: Well, I'm afraid this event was not quite to plan, but, having
heard some important voices, in the interest of public relations we will defer to Mrs. Adams and
the other voices from the past. We open the program to some selected citizens of Pittsburgh.
Their flags have been flying all over this City! Step up, our patriotic taxpayers!
Mother: Mr. Bush promised to 'leave no child behind.' I think he meant 'Ill leave that child behind' meaning the ones he thinks expect a free ride when it comes to daycare, childcare, or health care. After all, he says, "I don't care, I've got a nice war to fight."
Schoolteacher: I teach school. I can't believe the 'education president'
would leave his promises behind when so many schools badly need help. We
must give our children a chance for a productive future
Worker: I lost my job and now my unemployment's run out. But I'll have to
pay more taxes to make up for the billionaires' wartime bonus.
Retiree: I wanted to retire but my company cancelled the pension I worked
for so many years. Now Congress wants to threaten my social security and
Medicare!
Disabled Veteran: They even tried to cut my benefits! What's going to happen
to the veterans of this Iraqi war when there are still tens of thousands of
Gulf War vets with health problems?
Voter: We need to join with Bill Gates Sr. & the members of Responsible
Wealth to tell Congress and the Administration.
"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!" We will vote you out! We will vote you out!
We can build a real democracy again and let the Iraqis build their own!! We will fight for justice and freedom from the tyranny of the rich!
The Raging Grannies sing:
[To the tune of Molly Malone -"In London's fair city."]
1. Dick Cheney was cryin'
While troops were a-dyin'
He wanted a tax cut
For guess who, we know.
And cuts for the war vets
and kids with no assets
But he was denied by
Olympia Snowe.
2. And George Voinovich
Said no to the Bush pitch
To give to the rich
In return for their dough
With 2 million layoffs
He couldn't give payoffs
To Enron pal Ken Lay
or others you know.
3. But it is for certain
That Dick's Halliburton
Gets no-o-bid contracts
To re-build Iraq.
The oil wells will gush and
The profits will be grand
Who-o cares what the troops
or the people may lack?
CHEER: TAXES FOR THE PEOPLE, TAXES FOR THE PEOPLE!!