| TOW Monica Gets A New Roommate |
| Phoebe: Rain drops on roses and rabbits and kittens[ Rachel and Monica look at her] Bluebells and sleighballs and something with mittens. La la la la....something and noodles with string. These are a few... Rachel: I'm all better now. Phoebe: [goes into the kitchen, to Chandler & Joey] I helped! Joey: Great story! But ,I uh, gotta go. I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea..Oh man [looks to Chandler] Chandler: Angela's the screamer, Andrea has cats. Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. "Oh...see...but..Joanie loved Cachi"-Rachel "Oh God...well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This goregous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden [To the waitress that brought her her coffee] -Sweet and Lo- when I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr.Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but...Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?' [to Monica] So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you were the only person I knew who lived here in the city"-Rachel Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um...how long? Paul: Two years. Monica: I can't stop smiling. Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. Rachel: But you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding. Rachel: Oh, I hope that wasn't going to be a problem. "Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ and she's really not happy about it"-Monica "I just grabbed a spoon"-Ross "Kids, new dream...I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minelli..."-Chandler "Welcome to the real word. It sucks. You're gonna love it."-Monica "They're my new, 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got new boots' boots"-Rachel "Alright kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers...it doesn't make much of a difference"-Chandler "Grab a spoon? Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words, 'Billy, don't be a hero,' mean anything to you?"-Ross Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Chandler: Stay away from my freezer. "Aruba? This time of year? Talk about your....big lizards."-Ross "Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait! I said maybe!"-Rachel [to her dad on the phone] Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her. It's her wedding day. Joey: What? Like there's a rule or something? "Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that outloud?"-Chandler "Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, I said maybe!"-Rachel on the phone with her dad. "...And I realize....there's a phone there"-Chandler "Stop cleansing my aura!"-Ross to Phoebe Ross: Hellooo. Joey: This guy says hi and I want to kill myself. Monica: Okay, everybody. Relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. "Oooo..I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good"-Phoebe Joey: Of course it was a line! Monica: Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that? Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than "to get you into bed." Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him. Chandler: So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Rachel: Guess what? Ross: You got a job? Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. [they both reached for the last cookie] Rachel: Sorry- Ross: No no no no Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it- Ross: Split it? Rachel: Okay Ross: Okay. [they split the cookie] You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel: I knew. Ross: You did! Oh...I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother. Rachel: I did. Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think - and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel:Yeah, maybe... Ross: Okay...Okay, I will... Rachel: Goodnight Ross: Goodnight. |