| TOW Ross's New Girlfriend |
| "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?"-Rachel "And the chicken poops in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about"-Rachel Monica: Well I was thinking, you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine? Phoebe: Oh! No. Monica: Why not? Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. Monica: No you're not. Phoebe: I know I'm not, you are, and I was just trying to spare your feelings. "If I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't....but this is about your horrible mistake"-Monica Chandler: Hey, anybody know a good tailor? Joey: You need some clothes altered? Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16...No, excuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990? Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance! Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. Monica: How who wears it? Phoebe: Demi Moore. Monica: Demi Moore is not a "he"! Phoebe: Well, he was a "he" in Arthur, and in Ten. "When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me"-Rachel Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite.... Ross: What? Chandler: ...Cupping. Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they movie it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross? Would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Monica: Pheebs, you know what I'm thinking? Phoebe: Oh, okay! How...it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it? Monica: No, although now that's what I'm thinking. Rachel: How is she? Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign. Ross: How's the hair? Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. Joey: Well, can we see her? Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come in? Monica: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a ten. Monica: Thank you. My hair is very amused. Chandler: Come on Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy but it's true. |