| TOW Rachel Tells... |
| Monica: I didn't think you could keep it a secret. Chandler: What? I am an excellent secret-keeper. I have kept all of our secrets. Joey: What secrets? Chandler: Oh, no no Joey. I am not going to tell you, because I am an excellent secret-keeper. Joey: (privately) Psst...You'll tell me later? Chandler: You already know. "Hey Mr.Treeger, it's Joey Tribianni. Listen I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment, it's an emergency. Uh...uh....gas leak! Yeah, and bring garlic bread."-Joey (on the phone) Monica: Did you hear that? They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon! Come on, let's act like we're on our honeymoon! Chandler: We are on our honeymoon. Monica: Grab my ass! Ticket Agent: Okay, Mr.Bing you'll be in 25J and Mrs.Bing you'll be in 25K. Monica: Oh, no, you see, um, we're on our honeymoon. So, um, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class? Ticket Agent: I'm sorry, all first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two. Monica: You see, if we'd gone around them like I said, then she would have given us those tickets. Damn it! Chandler: 25J and K. Any chance those aren't together? Rachel: I know, but, you know, condoms only work, like, 97% of the time. Ross: Wha-what? What?! Well, they should put that on the box! Rachel: They do. Ross: No they don't. (he checks) Well, they should put it in huge black letters! Rachel: Okay, Ross, come on, let's just forget about the condoms. Ross: Well I may as well have! Monica: No, you have been screwing us all day. Man: Who are you? Chandler: We're you! Just ten seconds later! Ross:....baby-proofing the apartment. Although, we could probably worry about that until after we get married. Rachel: Wha...married? Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married. Rachel: What, because that's your answer to everything? Ross: You can't possibly do this alone. Rachel: Excuse me? Ross: Come on, Rach. I mean, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant. Rachel: What? Ross: I'm just saying, if you can't eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself? Rachel: I can too eat by myself! Ross: When have you ever? Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished! Ross: Well, certain other people take 2 hours to eat a bowl of soup! Rachel: Oh, please! You inhale your food! Ross: I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat! Rachel: [touches his knee] I'm pregnant. [Ross stops] Ross? [Ross is starring off into space] Ross? [Ross is still frozen] Okay, whenever you're ready. [Sits back and opens her magazine] And you're the father by the way-but you got that Chandler: Hey! Babe! Aren't you excited we're going on our honeymoon? Monica: Yeah I am! Chandler: [singing] Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama Monica: That's right.Get it out of your system while we're alone. |