| TOW The Videotape |
| Ross: Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something I'm really uncomfortable talking about. Joey: Sure. How about, uh, you showering with your mom? Ross: I actually have a topic in mind. Monica: I still can't get why Brad and Jenny would give us a fake number. Joey: You know, if they knew what they were doing, they probably didn't give you real names, either. Monica: Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names. Joey: Oh yeah? (to Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams. Nice to meet ya. Phoebe: Regina Phelange. Chandler: I just don't get it. We didn't do anything wrong! Monica: I know. Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes. Chandler: I thought you said those jokes were funny! Joke, joke, joke, joke! Monica: Joke, joke, blah, blah! Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions. Monica: What was wrong with my questions? Chandler: The sheer volume. It was like flying with The Riddler. Monica: I'm sorry, was that another joke? Chandler: Was that another question? "Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. Now, I don't want people to see it either. But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. Do you see?"-Rachel On tape: Ross: Hey, remember....remember the night they got engaged? How you and I almost... Rachel: Oh, I remember how we almost....Do you think we would have gone through with it? You know, if we hadn't gotten caught? I mean, do you think we would've done it? Ross: Well, I mean, I know I wanted to. I just...I just wasn't sure if you wanted to. Rachel: Oh I wanted to. Ross: So we....we both wanted to. Rachel: Interseting. Ross: Mm. Anyway, um, it probably worked out for the best. Rachel: Yeah, sure. While watching the tape: Rachel: Okay, in about ten seconds you're going to see him kiss me. Ross: And in about five seconds, you're going to see why. On tape: Rachel: Ross, have I ever told you about the time I went back-packing through Western Europe? While watching the tape: Rachel: Okay, get ready to see some begging! Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross! Rachel:What? Ross: Now I'm so happy. Rachel: What are you talking about? Monica: You used the Europe story! Chandler: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex! Rachel: How do you know about that story? Joey: How do you know about that story? Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene, who heard it from some guy! Joey(raises hand, points to himself): Some guy! Rachel: No, no, she told me his name was Ken Adams. Joey(raises hand, points to himself): Ken Adams! Ross: Oh there....there go the clothes. Rachel: You are undressing awfully quickly. Ross: Six months, Rachel, six months. Both: Ah. Huh. Hey! Ross: We look...we look pretty good! Rachel: I was gonna say! Ross: Whoa, nice tan! Rachel: Thank you. I had just gone to the beach that weekend. Ross: Ah. Rachel: Oh, have you been working out? Ross: I had been working out. Rachel: Well, this is so much better that I ever.... Both: Oh! Ew! Ross: Oh, that's not pretty! Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that? Chandler: I don't know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions. Monica: And you've never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot! "Ross, it's got your wavy lines!"-Chandler about Rachel's sonogram picture "Oh, and there he is now, the father of my child. The porn king of the West Village"-Rachel Chandler: Wait,before we go in, I just want you to know, I love you. We had a great time on our honeymoon and I can't wait for us to go in there and spend the rest of our lives together. Monica:You're really sticking with the shell necklace, huh? Chandler: Did you do it on our wedding invitations? Ross: Not on the ones we sent out. Chandler: On the ones you gave back and we had framed?! Monica: [on the phone] Hello. 8th Street Deli? Joey: Hey hang up the phone. You get food poisoning just talking to them. Monica: [redials the phone] Hello? It's the deli again. Joey: Fine, I'll have a sandwich! Ross: Okay listen, I'm not a pervert. Phoebe: That's like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants and repeat that! |