| TOW The Stain |
| "I'm going out with Eric! Oh, this day is really going to be so much better than I thought it was going to be. Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch."-Phoebe Ross:You're moving? Rachel: Yeah. I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be "How you doin'?" Phoebe: No don't tear your eyes out! Eric: I was just going take out my lenses. Phoebe: Oh, yeah, try that. So, is that better? Eric: Not really. You're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula. Phoebe: What sex? Eric: Our sex. Phoebe: We didn't have sex. Eric: Well, if I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with someone who looked an awful lot like... Phoebe: Ew, ew! Phoebe: So I guess this is it. Eric: Yeah. Maybe it is for the best. You smell just like her. Phoebe:Yeah, so do you. Joey: And, uh, oh look, here's a baby monitor, which, until the baby comes, we can use as walkie-talkies! Rachel: Oh, you're so sweet! Oh my God, and you gave the baby Hugsie! Joey: Uh, that, that, that's really just to show where the baby would go. You know what? Why don't I hold on to him so there's no confusion? Okay? "Did you not hear where my head was?"-Monica "Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who just can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman. Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club"-Joey to Rachel Monica: Oh my God, you cleaned. Look at these floors! You did the windows! I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works! Chandler: I didn't actually do this. Monica: Oh no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again? Chandler: No, it wasn't you. Monica: Then who? Chandler: I got a maid. Yay! Monica: Well, by maid I hope you mean mistress because if some other woman was here cleaning then... Chandler: Now honey I know you don't like to relinquish control. Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose. Chandler: Look, she's really nice and she mentioned that she adored the way you arranged the sponges. Monica: She really say that? Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke. Now, just give her a chance, okay. Monica: Fine, I can do it. Chandler: What's the matter? Monica: Well, usually when I'm this anxious,I clean! Monica: She stole my jeans! Chandler: What? Monica: She stole my pants! I've been looking for them all week and she's wearing them. Chandler: So she stole your pants and is now back wearing them in front of you? Monica: Don't you see? It's the perfect crime. Chandler: She must've been planning this for years. Monica: I will prove it to you. About a week ago, I was wearing them and dropped a pen in my lab and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back, I will find it and show you that stain! Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than one pair? Monica: I guess. Chandler: So shouldnt we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go snooping around her crotch? Monica: Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient. Chandler: [laughs] Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient? Monica: [laughs] Yeah Monica: Hey I think, Brenda needs a raise. Chandler: How come? Monica: Because I put my head between her legs. Chandler: To see her pants? Monica: They're my pants! Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain? Monica: No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark. Chandler: God, she is not stealing from us. Will you let this go? Monica: Fine. |