| TOW The Baby Shower |
| Mrs.Green: Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean, when you were a baby, I had full-time help. I had Mrs.Kaye. Rachel: Mrs.Kaye! Oh, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it. "Tu madre es loca." Mrs.Green: Such a sweet woman. Katherine: It's a diaper genie. Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers! Katherine: No, it's where you put the dirty ones! Rachel: Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster? Mrs.Green: Well are you going to do that ten times a day? Rachel: It goes ten times a day? What are we feeding this baby, Indian food? Joey: Whoa, what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance; you go past the Mud Hut; through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail, and BOOM you're in paradise pond! Ray:Yeah, all that's gone. Um, it's basically just a simple question and answer game now. Joey: Well, what's fun about that? You expect me to be a host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions? Ray: Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores. Joey: Let's play Bamboozled! Monica: Oh My God, your mother! Rachel: What?! My mother's not gonna be here?! Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was. Monica: [to Phoebe] This is great! Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel! Y'know what? And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had. Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! It's time to open the presents! Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world! "I just bamboosled Chandler!....That's not a sexual thing"-Ross Monica: [to Phoebe] Oh my god, my ass is sweating! [on the phone] Please! Please! Can you come? It's today at four. Mrs.Green: Well all right. I'll see you at four. Monica: Thank you. [hangs up] Phoebe: Isn't it at three? Monica: Son of a bitch! [calls Mrs.Green back] "That's right! Maybe it's time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady...old lady...lady!"-Monica |