| TOW Rachel Has A Baby -Part 2- |
| "You know that feeling when you're trying to blow a St.Bernard out your ass?"-Rachel "Not just Janice, Janice in labor. Contracting and everything."-Ross Joey: She was married to a gay ice dancer. Um, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh, her twin sister used to do porn! Phoebe: Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Monica: Do you realize that we may have just changed our lives forever? We may have just started our family. Nine months from now, we could be here, having our own baby. Chandler: And if not, we got to 'do it' on a bucket. Sid: I still can't believe it! I'm the luckiest guy in the world! Ross: Really? Sid: What'd he say? Janice: Oh, you know what? You have to speak very loudly when you're talking to Sid, because he's almost completely deaf. Rachel: Oh! Of course he is! Ross: Oh, there you go! "What happened to the Disgustingtons?"-Ross Ross: We're having this baby together but, uh, that's all. Janice: Why? Ross: Uh, well, we're just not in that place, you know? But we're very excited about this. Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ross: Just tell me how. Cliff: No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy. Phoebe: Oh, I'll get it. [she scratches the inside of his cast with a spoon] Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me. Phoebe: Relax, it's not like we're forking. Ross: It's.....it's complicated, okay? Phoebe: Yeah, that's true, yeah. You love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer. Ross: Since Rachel and I....we're doing really well right now. Phoebe: I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it. Ross: Yeah, exactly. Phoebe: Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were fifteen. Ross: [from the floor] Keep pushing! Rachel: Are you okay? Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. [the doctor, nurse, and Rachel all look at him with a mad look on their face] Rachel: Oh she's so tiny. [crying] Where'd she go? Ross: Oh it's okay. They're just-they're just gonna clean her up. Monica: What's the matter? Rachel: Nothing, I just can't stop crying. Ross: The doctor said this is all completely normal and plus, you've been sleep deprived. Rachel: Oh, you guys are all sleep deprived and I don't see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong foot. Oh gosh. Joey: What's the matter now? Rachel: I was re-living it! Monica: Take it. Rachel: What? Monica: She's clearly an Emma. Rachel: Oh, but honey, you love that name. Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides, nothing goes with Bing, so I'm screwed. Monica: I think we found a place! Chandler: Okay...[they wrap their arms around each other and kiss passionately. she pulls back] Monica: Mmm. Wait. Do you wanna set the mood a little? Chandler: [looks around] Okay, uh,....we'll dim the lights...dim the lights. [Flips the light switch] Or turn them out all together. Uhh no scented candles. Okay here. [grabs a can of air freshener from the bathroom and sprays it above Monica who is making herself comfortable on the bed] There we go. Monica: Okay, okay! Making me sterlie, but okay. [Chandler gets on the bed and starts kissing her and they unbutton their shirts] Monica: Okay. Oh, sorry. Oh wait! Do we have a condom? [Chandler looks at her] Oh right! [they start kissing again as Chandler gets on top of her. In the middle, a light comes on and a nurse is staring at them, annoyed] Chandler: [shocked at being caught] Yes! 98.6, you're going to be fine. [gets off Monica] [They've found a new room and they start kissing again] Chandler: [stops the kissing] Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to her's? Monica: We could. Or we could have sex in it! Chandler: [smiles] Well let me think about that..while I remove my pants! [they start to passionately kiss and Monica moves towards the bed] Monica: Okay, mister! Fertilize me! [Chandler gets on the bed and they start kissing. Shortly they hear a very loud annoying laugh in the room next door. They stop kissing and look up] Monica:Does that sound like....Janice? Chandler: If its not, then there's two of them...And that would mean THE END OF THE WORLD! "Oh, she's not going to be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original"-Phoebe Rachel: Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesn't she want to come out? Ross: You know what I think it is? I think you've made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave. Rachel: Oh, look at you making crpa up for me. |