| TOW Rachel's Other Sister |
| Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um, I had a baby. Amy: I decorated Dad's office. Rachel: Oh...yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina <shakes head no> not the same thing. Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross. Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. Ross: That was me. Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade. Ross: (wondering how long this is gonna take) Yep, still me. Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friend's brother with that bad afro, do you remember? Ross: Amy, I'm going to save you some time. <twirls finger around in a circle> All me. "You decorate dad's office and now you're a decorator? Okay I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear"-Rachel Joey: I need a good lie. Phoebe: How bout the whole man walking on the moon thing? I mean you can see the strings people. Phoebe: Oh really let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon comes running in and went straight for your muffin and I said 'Hey dont eat that, that's Phoebe's' and he said...he said Joey you stink at lying. What am I going to do? Monica: Hey hon, could you help me get the plates down? Chandler: Yeah. Hey here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today? Monica: No, I think we should gave our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over. Chandler: Honey, she keeps cancelling on us. Take the hint. Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma? Amy(all confused): Yeah I....I think so. It's nice to meet you Emma (shakes hands with Phoebe) Phoebe: (shakes Amy's hand) Phoe-Be Amy: Oh. That's a funny noise. Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not a really big fan of Emily. Ross: Emma Amy: (turns to Phoebe) Emma, Ross wants you. Phoebe: Phoe-Be Amy: (to Ross & Rachel) Why does she keep making that noise? "The producers for Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everyone is really pissed off at me and they all got to meet Santa!"-Joey Joey: I wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency Phoebe: What happened. Joey: (thinks and looks down) My sisters raccoon came and-- Phoebe: No, nothing with raccoons! "Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress"-Monica "Oh yeah. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby"-Rachel Amy: You know what. I can't believe my so called sister gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail. Rachel: Oh haha. It's 45. Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment. Well let me tell you something your baby...isn't even that cute. Ross: Too far Amy! Too far. "Put the plates back in the boxes! Put the plates back in the boxes!"-Monica "Those plates have not been as pretty as the ones I picked out. But they were to Monica. Now I want you to apologize to her"-Chandler Phoebe: It's okay, you can mourn Monica: (crys) Thank you there so beautiful "Oh my god I've lost the will to scold!"-Monica "Oh what do you know, I'm the first one to die"-Chandler, after he broke the plates Joey: Thanks for teaching me to lie Pheebs Phoebe: No problem. Next week stealing. Monica: What something happened to the plates? Joey: Yeah...um this raccoon came in.... "I just want you to know, if I die, you don't get Joey!"-Chandler to Ross "There's no time for bubble wrap! Hurry, hurry!"-Monica Rachel: Aww Emma it's your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's boobies? Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. Ross: So, now do I get Joey? Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. "Emma is the product of a bottle of Merilot and a 5 year old condom"-Monica [knock on the door] Rachel: Who is it? Person outside the door: It's your favorite sister! Ross and Rachel: Jill? Person outside the door: Amy! Rachel: Hide my rings. Amy: It would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I'd rise to the occassion and I'd get a makeover and get married! Phoebe: That's a great movie! Amy: She's precious. Do you ever worry that she's gonna her your real nose? [about Emma] Rachel: Amy! Yes, yes I do, I really do. Amy: [her cellphone rings and she picks it up] Hello. Um yeah, hold on a second. [to Ross] Can I take this upstairs? Ross: Sure but we don't live there. Amy: Seriously? It's just these rooms? I thought you were a doctor Rachel: No, Ross has a Ph.D. Amy: Eww. Rachel: She is unbelievable. Ross: I know. I mean a Ph D is just as good as an MD. Rachel: Oh sure Ross! If I have a heart attack at a restaurant I want you there with your fossil brush. Amy: Where's the baby? Rachel: Oh, I just put her down for a nap. Amy: I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died! |