| TOW The Memorial Service |
| Ross: Hey, have you seen this? It's our new alumni website for college. It's cool. You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to. Chandler: Oh Great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless. Joey: Dude! [he wants Ross to toss him the basketball] Ross: Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be trusted with the ball inside the house. Joey: And....send! Rachel: Hey, how was basketball? Joey: Oh it was a lot of fun until Chandler got a finger in the eye. Rachel: Oh no. Who did that? Joey: Chandler. Joey: Uh Rach, what's Hugsy doing in the crib with Emma? Rachel: Oh she was just crawling around and she found him so I let her sleep with him. That's all right, isn't it? Joey: Of course. Yeah, it's a stuffed animal. Its for kids, not adults. I know that. Rachel: Joey, are you sure? I know how much you love him. Joey: Rachel, let's be clear on this. I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount. Rachel: All right. Well Emma loves him. Joey: Well why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person. Phoebe: Hey Monica, I'm going to need your help to get through his. Chandler: You're not going to need my help? Phoebe: No, when I get to the point where I need to hear cruel, mocking jokes about Mike, I'm coming to you. Chandler: Oh good. Cause I've already thought of three...four! I just thought of a fourth! Phoebe: That was just a test and you failed. Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake! Ross: I have sex with dinosaurs?! Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere! Ross: Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay, depending upon the species I'd have to have a six foot long...it's not funny! Chandler: I respectfully agree. Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page. Chandler: Who cares? Nobody reads those things. Ross: You better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today. Chandler: I don't have a page. Ross: Oh oh oh, I respectfully disagree! Rachel: Step away from the crib, I have a weapon! Joey: It's okay Rach, it's okay. It's me. Put down the scrunchie. Rachel: What are you doing? Joey: Well I heard Emma stirring so I came in to make sure she could reach Hugsy. Rachel: Well okay. Well now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom. Joey: Here you go Sweetie. [puts Hugsy back in Emma's crib] This isn't over! Monica: Okay, wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are gay as the day is long? Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs. Monica: Well that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. Chandler: [looks at her, the phone rings] Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day. Monica: Well I should've known, he kept making me watch 'Moulin Rouge'! Chandler: Hang up, hang up! And that was a great movie! Ross: I'm dead?! Chandler: And so young. Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny. Chandler: Well how you died was funny. Ross: Oh please. Hit by a blimp? Chandler: It kills over one Americans a year. Phoebe: God I was Mike where here. Monica: Okay, if Mike where here, what would the two of you be doing? Phoebe: [looks at Monica] Monica: What are you animals? It's four o'clock in the afternoon. Monica: Okay, give me your phone. Phoebe: Okay. Monica: And your cellphone. Phoebe: Okay. [walks over to cabinet and takes out a big phone] Here. Monica: This is your cellphone? Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: This is your current cellphone? Phoebe: Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time. Monica: Phoebe where's your purse? Phoebe: Um, [runs to her purse to get her cellphone] Monica: Give it to me! Phoebe: You can't have it. [sticks it in her pants] Monica: I'll go in there! Joey: Hey. Look whose here. It's Joey and he brought home a friend. Rachel: Joey, you promised not to bring home girls anymore in the middle of the day! Joey: No, no no. It's not a girl. It's a brand new Hugsy! Rachel: Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two Hugsy. Rachel: Now, should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it? Joey: Oh no. I swallowed that years ago. Monica: Okay, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door? Phoebe: Those are my shoes. Monica: Oh. Well, when you get over this break up, we need to go shopping. "You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!"-Monica "So, that's what I'd look like if I worked out. And was being serviced by a policeman."-Chandler Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Hugsy? Joey: Uh, original or crappy? Rachel: Original. Joey: Nope, sorry, haven't seem him. Rachel: Then what's that big lump under your covers? Joey: It's Monica, okay? Rachel: That's not Monica! Joey: All right, fine! It's original Hugsy! I know Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him. She's being unreasonable! Rachel: Joey, there is a reason Emma loves that stupid penguin so much. Joey: Oh! Rachel: Oh, don't cover it's ears! Joey: [uncovers Hugsy's ears] Rachel: It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey. Joey: It does? Rachel: Yeah. And she's comforted by him. Because she loves her Uncle Joey so much. Ross: I'm dead and no one cares? Monica: I look like a man? Chandler: Please! One ridiculous problem at a time! Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that. Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing...why don't I just eat a little sliver,or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. [Pauses] Give me your phone. Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit... Monica: Base Unit! Think Monica! Think! "Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it."-Monica "Damn you Monica Geller Hyphen Bing!"-Phoebe "The gay community's a lot more vocal than the dead community"-Chandler "It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up. I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted"-Ross |