"Let no man thirst for good beer."
-- Sam Adams
"Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper,
cheers the spirit and promotes health."
-- Thomas Jefferson
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
-- Plato
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have
given us stomachs."
-- David Daye
"Beer is the reason we get up each afternoon."
-- Ray McNeill
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking
beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
-- Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history
of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza."
-- Dave Barry
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and
an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you
need a beer."
-- Frank Zappa
In Belgium, the magistrate has the dignity of a prince,
but by Bacchus, it is true that the brewer is king.
--Emile Verhaeren
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal
lobotomy."
--Tom Waits
"24 beers in a case. 24 hours in a day. Coincidence?"
--Fox Mulder
"Beer has food value, but food has no beer value."
--Anonymous
"Beer will get you through times of no money better than
money will get you through times of no beer."
--Freddie Freak
"When I heated my home with oil, I found that I used an
average of 800 gallons per year. I have found that I can
keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly
over half that quantity of beer."
Michael Jackson? His name's not familiar to me. Who's he
with?
--Frank Hamsher, Anheuser-Busch
Last beer before dry county. Coldest beer in town.
--Scary signs in Southern United States
Some miners (in the town where he started his journalism
career) would have 20 pints after a hard day in the mine.
Now that we sit behind computers all day, this is down to
18 or 19 pints.
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
world."
-- Kaiser Welhelm
"Drink to me."
-- Dying words of Pablo Picasso
"They who drink beer will think beer."
-- Washington Irving
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way
to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
-- Dave Barry
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from
urine.
--David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer;
they just like to pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton,WI
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
--Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished
on beer.
--Frederick the Great
Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk
to a woman? Hell no!
--Hunter S. Thompson (on the US war against Iraq)
I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
--King Henry V, Shakespeare
A quart of ale is a dish for a king.
--Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
The true enthusiast is probably happiest drinking from an
opaque container. It does not allow him to see the small
imperfections in the appearance of the beer.
--Joy of Cooking
Of beer, an enthusiast said that it could never be bad,
but that some brands might be better than others.
--A. A. Milne
Guinness sells on the average of 7 million glasses a day.
--Beer Magazine
I recommend....bread, meat, vegetables and beer.
--Sophocles (on a moderate diet)
It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary,
and I would not have thought of eating a meal without
drinking....beer.
--Ernest Hemingway
Two of the more dubious achievements of American
culture are white bread and light beer.
--Real Beer and Good Eats, Bruce Aidells and Denis Kelly
It is well known that a horse will eagerly drink up a
pint of red wine, and that dogs love beer.
--E. B. Foote, M.D. 1902
Many years ago, a 33-inch fish was caught in Lake St.
Clair that seemed a tad too heavy for its size. When they
popped the fish's top,startled fishermen found a full
bottle of ale inside the creature.
--Beer The Magazine
Social reformer Lady Astor ended a temperance lecture with
the quote, "I would rather commit adultery than drink a
glass of beer," in response someone in the crowd bellowed
back, "Who wouldn't?"
Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful
afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the
same.
--Hugh Hood
I like a good beer. Of course, I'll drink a bad one too.
Let no person thirst for lack of real ale!
Thank god for long-necked bottles, the angel's remedy.
--Tom Petty
There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those
other things even better.
--The Great Beer Trek, Stephen Morris
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the
lord has intended a more divine form of consumption. Let us
give praise to our maker and glory to His bounty by learning
about BEER.
--Friar Tuck, Robin Hood (1991)
A well-lubricated populace being necessary to the humor of a
free state, the right of the People to brew and drink Beer,
shall not be infringed.
Light beer is an invention of the Prince of Darkness.
--Inspector Morse, Mystery
Why we are here: To tremble at the terrible beauty of the
stars, to shed a tear at the perfection of Beethoven's
symphonies, and to crack a cold one now and then.
--David Letterman
We could not now take time for further search or
consideration: our victuals being much spent, especially
our beer.
--Mayflower logbook entry dated December 16, 1620
The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.
--Law, City of Augsburg, 13th century
Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it
be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell
younger beer.
--German Beer Law, 1466
There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people
drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look
around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see:
Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.
--Hunter S. Thompson
I prefer both my beer and my coffee to be dark and bitter;
that way, they fit in so well with the rest of my life.
All right brain, I don't like you and you don't like me
-so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you
with beer.
--Homer Simpson
Relax. Don't Worry. Have a Homebrew.
--Charlie Papazian's Homebrew Ode
I've never homebrewed. I'm never at home.I'm too impatient
even with cooking.
--Michael Jackson, Beer Journalist and Connoiseur
Life is too short to worry about what others think of my
brew.
Brewers of all-grain strong ales and lagers, however, may
need to reduce the volume of the wort by evaporation to
achieve targeted initial high gravities. Evaporation also
makes the house smell good to most sensible people.
--Home Brewer's Companion, Charlie Papazian
Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs, Sister's
in the pantry bottling the suds, Father's in the cellar
mixing up the hops, Johnny's on the front porch watching for
the cops.
--Prohibition Song
As he brews, so shall he drink.
--Ben Jonson
Blessings of your heart, you brew good ale.
--Two Gentlemen of Verona, Shakespeare
Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an
element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.
As a brewer you concern yourself with all the stuff you can
understand, everywhere.
--Fritz Maytag, President Anchor Brewing
We brewers don't make beer, we just get all the ingredients
together and the beer makes itself.
--Fritz Maytag
An honest brew makes its own friends.
All we are saying . . . . is give yeast a chance.
Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
--David Rains Wallace
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour.. Teach him to
brew and he wastes a lifetime.
I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the
morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel
all day.
--Dean Martin
Just as it is shameful to be drunk among the sober, so is
it shameful to be sober among the drunk.
Extensive interviews show that not one alcoholic has ever
actually seen a pink elephant.
--Yale University, Center of Alcohol Studies
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
--Benjamin Franklin
The difference between drunks and alcholholics is that
us drunks don't have to go to all those damn meetings.
--Country Song
Not Drunk is he who from the floor can rise and drink once
more - but Drunk is he who prostrate lies, and can neither
drink, nor rise.
--Saloon at Luckenbach, Texas
Being drunk is like being in love. If you've never been
in love, you don't know what you're missing.
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk
they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut."
-- Ernest Hemingway
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me."
-- Winston Churchill
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her."
-- W.C. Fields
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
-- Oscar Wilde
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading."
-- Henny Youngman
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
drinks behind."
-- Humphrey Bogart
"I drink to make other people interesting."
-- George Jean Nathan
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools."
-- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on."
-- Dean Martin
"When a man is forced by circumstance to drink water,
you might have the common decency to turn away."
-- Private Smalley, Last Stand at Feather River
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply
A person can work up a mean, mean thirst after a hard day
of nothin' much at all.
--The Replacements