The Real Mr. Maryland Has Stood Up - ME!   (Silly, who did you think it was?)

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Any fake Mr. Marylands out there?
I repeat : Any fake Mr. Marylands out there?
If there are, i'll kick you in the nuts

Ya'll act like you've never seen a 3rd grader before
jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door started woopin her ass worse than before
they first get divoriced throwing her over furniture (scream!)
It's the return of me
"Oh wait, no way, you're kidiing, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

And my friend Blake said
Nothing you idiots Blake's dead, he's locked in my treehouse!
4th grade women love Randy
Chicken Chicken Chicken Mr. Maryland he's so great
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Limpin' to you-know-who
And he's so cute too!

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose but no worse than what's going on in my parent's bedroom (eeww)
Sometimes i'm in school with an M-16, I just wanna let loose
but can't yet it's cool for Tom Green to fuck a dead moose
my ass is on your horns, my ass is on your horns,
if i'm lucky you might just give me a little shove
that's the message we deliver to MD kids
luckily none of them know what a woman's clitoris is

NY kids gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade, they got the Spice channel don't they?
We ain't nothin' but mammals well someone somewhere is a cannibal ripping people open like cataloupes.
But if he can fuck dead animals and then eat them
then there's no reason my two sisters can't elope (to each other)
But if you feel like I feel I got some LSD,
drag queens wave your pantyhose sing my chorus and it goes:

I'm Mr. Maryland
yes I'm the real Randy
All you other Mr. Marylands are just imitating
So why don't I.....
Go stand up, go stand up, go stand up
'cus I'm Mr. Maryland
Yes I'm the real Randy
Al you other Mr. Marylands suck and blow (at the same time)
So why don't I just....
Go stand up, go stand up, go stand up

Slim Shady has to cuss in his raps to sell records-
Well I don't, I believe in clean family entertaintment
You think i'll get nominated for a Grammy?
Half of the critics hate me can't even stand me
"But Randy what if you win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just get me here,
Sit me next to Britney Spears? Yum....
Skoochie, Christina Aguilera and switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst,
hear them argue over who she gave head to first (it was Fred)
Little woman put me on blast on EmTV
"Yeah he's cute but he's a bit small, ain't he?"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Mr. Maryland VD
I'm sick of all you little boy and girl groups all you do is annoy me,
go suck a monkey's nipple for banana juice
There's no one quite like me
Who bends his wrists like me
Who doesn't give a dang like me
Who cross-dresses like me
Who walks, talks and acts like me
They may be the next best thing
But they're not me

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Caus' I'm only giving you things you joke about with your Sailor Scouts in your fuckin secret place
The only difference is i'm a full-boy, not a trans like Jiggly
I don't usually have to lie or sugar-coat it at all (unless mom's here)
I just get in front of you and spit it
And whether you like me or not
I lip-sync better than 99.9% of you people out there
Then you wonder how kids can eat these faster than Chex mix
It's funny cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 13
I'll be the only person in jail, flirting.....
Pinching inmate's asses and beating my meat, constantly jerkin'.....
Oh shit, my mom's here! ESC, ALT_F4! Delete!