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| Tinky, our hero, is the tiniest little pink baby pig. Tinky was born very early one morning in the spring of this year. He’s a very special little piglet it seems. As far as anyone can figure out he is a miniature pig and will not grow any larger than he is. From the day he was born and got his sea legs Tinky found a way to get into some kind of trouble. His Mother, Juniper Pig was often heard saying, “Tinky, you’re going to drive me to distraction.” Today would prove to be no different; Tinky was well on his way to yet another disaster. Tinky was only a little pig, about a foot long and about 7 inches high. He was bright pink and had the silliest curly tail. Tinky’s biggest downfall was his stomach. No matter what he ate, and he ate a lot, his tummy was always empty. It was Tinky’s one-obsession and goal in life to find food. It didn’t matter what kind most days, as long as it was called food. Tinky woke up very early that morning. A long time before the sun and Farmer Ben’s rooster had crowed. Before he had his eyes open his tummy was telling him how hungry he was. Tinky was on the hunt for food. George, the rooster, watched amazed as Tinky’s little snout searched the farmyard. Close to the ground and complete with lots of little snorts. Tinky chowed down on a few grains of wheat and was lucky when he found a pile of very sweet juicy corncobs. Just right for eating too. “Tinky…breakfast time.” Juniper had been calling him for a long time, but Tinky was so busy hunting for food that he did not hear her. It was like this every morning. Juniper knew Tinky would be back after he finished eating. If he’d paid attention he’d have known that Juniper had a pile of goodies ready for his breakfast. Tinky just was not happy about the food he found. He knew exactly what he wanted. He knew where it was too. Juniper and Farmer Ben warned him more than once to stay out of the garden. Time and time again he’d been caught trying to squiggle under the fence between the garden and the farmyard. He usually only got most of his snout under, because even though he was not big, he sure was plump. Lots of times George had burst out in loud cock-a-doodle-do’s while watching Tinky’s tail twist like a windmill. This morning Tinky was determined. The aroma of the baby turnips and sweet carrots, well he just couldn’t help himself. He’d find a way. He plopped himself under the old oak tree and started thinking. It didn’t take him long. He was a very silly pig. His ideas were very odd indeed. Well he thought and thought and finally found his bestest idea. For his plan to work he needed a partner in crime. He saw her. Perched on the end of the wooden plank in the farmyard. Penelope was a turkey and the old maid of the farmyard. It wasn’t cause she wasn’t nice, but because she was so funny. She just didn’t look like your normal turkey. Her feathers flew every which way. She wore horn-rimmed glasses and her beak was bent from running into the barn door too many times. To make it worse, she couldn’t even gobble, she could only screech. “Penny, Penny” Tinky squealed as he ran across the farmyard. Penny just happened to be dozing then. She was so startled she lost all her composure. Her wings flapped. Her toes grabbed and somehow she regained her balance. “What is it? I’m in the middle of my beauty rest,” she screeched at Tinky. She really did love Tinky it’s just that she just wanted to sleep. “Wellllllllllllllll! My tummy is talking to me and it wants turnips and carrots.” After explaining to Penny how many times he got his back half stuck under the fence, and telling her what Farmer Ben said, he got really brave and told her his plan. I guess Penny wasn’t busy or she was very bored that day because she agreed to help Tinky. “For a price. I want some peas for my dinner. Fresh peas from the garden.” Her mouth was already watering. Off the two of them went. In the back of the farmyard, right next to the garden was exactly what they needed. Tinky and Penny approached the old haystack next to the fence and made sure no one was looking. Penny had great doubts about the whole plan. Tinky, who thought he was invincible, stood on the end of a board lying across the haystack. Penny slowly climbed to the top of the fence. She looked down at the silly teeter-totter contraption. Penny just didn’t see how it would work. There she was on top of the fence, all the while swaying back and forth. It was so high up there. “Tinky, hurry up, you know I’m scared of heights.” I’m ready, I’m ready,” squealed Tinky. “Now Penny, now…jump!” Feathers flew and many screeches were heard. Penny managed to land right smack onto the end of the teeter-totter. As she regained her balance she watched as Tinky, flew over her. His tail wriggled and turned, his ears were down. He was flapping his legs, all four of them, while he tried to fly. It was the funniest thing anyone in the farmyard had ever seen. Farmer Ben dropped his pitchfork; Lord Squash dropped the glass of ice tea Lady Green Onion had just given him. “Look at that, a flying pig,” Juniper said to her husband Peter and then realized it was her baby Tinky flying over the fence. It didn’t take long for Tinky to land. It was where and how he landed that made everyone laugh. Everyone, that is except for Tinky. He traveled very far and was so close to his cherished turnip patch. Except he missed it. He missed the carrots and he missed the peas. He tried hard to land in just the right spot…he’d missed that to. As it turned out, he wished he hadn’t landed quite where he did. In all the trouble Tinky had ever gotten into, this was the worst. When he finally landed it was with a large thump. Right on top of Lord Squash. Lord Squash the leader above all in the garden. Even Farmer Ben came to him for advice. After he landed, he had somehow managed to fling Lord Squash and himself, into the home made swimming pool Lord Squash was working on. Of course, he was only working on it. It still was nothing but a big deep mud hole. Turns out pigs love mud. Unfortunately squashes don’t. Lord Squash, being the head squash, was furious. After Lady Green Onion helped clean him up, the Lord stomped off to find Famer Ben. After a very long discussion between Lord Squash, Farmer Ben, Juniper and Peter, it was decided it was time for some changes in the farmyard. They decided there was entirely too much free time for the babies and they were going to change that. Juniper thought it would be a good idea to have school for the babies and teach them the etiquette of the farmyard. It was also decided that Tinky would be put on a strict diet of food offered and found in the farmyard. Or he would find himself penned in. For protection…from himself. As for Penelope, she was ordered to baby-sit Tinky and make sure he stayed out of trouble. After all she was much older and wiser and she needed something to do with all the free time she had. Tinky didn’t like any of this. He had no choice, but he knew someday those turnips would be his…one way or another. ©4/19/03 |