Our Angel Douglas

In Loving Memory of
Douglas Warren Peterson/Maris
February 27, 1969 - April 14, 2003

Some things about Douglas ~

This is something no parent should have to do. How does one summarize your child's life in order to memorialize him for a web page?? My heart breaks each and every day wishing he were still here. What more could I have done?
Why couldn't we reach him?
Why did he have to take his own life? Douglas came into this world late and he was always late in life.
He was born at Ft. Carson on a cold winter day in February. He was my baby.
He was a very mischievous child and always up to something. He loved to play
in the dirt and play with bugs and soon became our Dougie Bugie. He was very talented and extremely bright.
He loved so much about life.
He liked going fast, playing racquetball, he fenced, loved all water sports, loved being in plays. He loved to speak Spanish
and eat Mexican food. He made the best chimichanga. He played poker with his friends and loved to play golf. He had a gift
with the computer and electronics. He was always there for us and for his friends, anytime someone needed something done
he was the first to volunteer. He wanted to be married and "live happily ever after". But that marriage
brought out the worst in him and he began to pull away from us and steadily go downhill.
Until one day he could take it no more. - Nothing anyone said did any good, he had lost hope.
Why didn't he call me? Why didn't I call him?? The only thing that gives me any consolation is that he is now at peace.
No more fighting the demons in his head. He is in God's hands and is home and we will be together once again one day........
I love you son.

These are two beautiful and loving gifts for Angel Douglas from my dear friend, Carol, mom to Angel Michael.

Do not stand at my grave and weep...
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you wake in morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
~ Old Indian Prayer

In this picture, Douglas is about 3 months old.

NEVER A DAY

Never a day passes by that I don't think of you
Never a day passes that I don't say "I Love You"
I cannot truthfully say I'm doing fine
Not now, but maybe later with time

Missing you aches my heart so terribly bad
Not having you makes me oh so sad
Many times I search the rooms for you
Many times I catch myself calling for you

There's this guilt, like a cancer inside of me
Ever gnawing ever tormenting me
The what if's, if I had only or If I had done this
We all have that "what if" list

I know within my heart it had to be
It's just so hard for a parent to see
We want our children to outlive us
Not for them to die before us

My life must and will go on
Only my hurt and sorrow will also come along
My darling child I shall forever miss you
And forever and ever will I Love You...
Written by Doyle in memory of his son Yancy

Douglas is about 6 months old in this picture.

Douglas at about 2 years old.

In this picture, Douglas was eating a chicken leg and that is a hunk of chicken on his face.
We were in the service, stationed at Ft Carson at the time of his birth.

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I,
By an invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it's there
Though no one can see the invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart,
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!
~ Author Unknown

Doug at 8 years old.

As you can see, Douglas was full of such life and so mischievous. He was always up to something.

YOU NEVER SAID GOODBYE

You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day you went home.
~ Author unknown

Here is one of Douglas in a play - he was a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz. He had an IQ of a genius and had a photographic memory,
so he could recite lines from movies and imitate the voices to a tee. He was such a huggy buggy Dougie. That is what we called him.

Doug with his pet ferret. He was such a loving caring young man and always willing to help anyone who needed anything.
He loved other animals especially cats and my sheltie Cody.

As Long As Forever

I shall remember you for as long
As there are fields of snow,
And there are flowers in the ground
With strength to grow,
As long as there are stars above
And moonbeams on the sea,
And just as long as there are songs
I shall remember you today
And dream of you tonight,
And look for you tomorrow when
The sun begins to light.
Whatever season, month or year,
This much will be the same,
The only sound of joy will be
The mention of your name.

I shall remember you for as long
AS there are earth and sky,
And all eternity
May take to say goodbye.
By James J. Metcalfe
~reprinted from the Queensland Australia TCF August/Sept 2002 Newsletter

Doug with his beloved daughter Sidney. He gave blood every month and did the walk-a-thon's for his precious Sidney - his daughter
who was only two when he left her. She is down syndrome.

And this is Doug's daughter Sidney all dressed up for Easter. Isn't she just precious?

Here is a more recent picture of Sidney. Isn't she just too cute??

The roses need to be a part of this because I loved yellow and he loved red so when he sent me flowers he would send yellow
with one red one in the center- saying I love you. He once gave me a picture that had pressed flowers and it said
"If I had a flower for everytime I think of you,
I could walk forever in my garden".

My Mom Is A Survivor

My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...through Heaven's open door.
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal~!

This poem was written by Kaye Des'Ormeaux and dedicated to Clarissa

This is Doug's senior picture.

This was on Doug's wedding day and the last family group we took. So the first young lady on the left is his sister Kristin and the other one
is his sister Jackie. Then behind Jackie is Douglas' brother Darren. Then my husband John and I. Our whole family that misses Douglas so...

I called everyone I could think of that might have a picture of Douglas and his corvette.
No one has any - all I recall is that it was a 1985 blue corvette.

Dearest Trisha
I would like to share this poem with you. It was one of many that my ANGEL Lee wrote at different times in his life.

DREAMSCAPES

Wake up cold
And a picture lingers in my head

A life I left behind as it faces me now
As I close my eyes

People I don't know are now my friends
In my head, my dreams

Shapes fall the sence they make logic
Smothers it as I wake

My head the puppet master
strings me along into a strange land

Making me love people
I couldn't love

Written By Lee Henry Aguilera

Ever since you left
I sit, I watch children play
It brings back memories
Of you playing everyday

When we use to share our dreams
It seems like a million years ago
I don't want you to ever forget
I will always love you my Baby Blue

Mom I watch you too
But in a different way, way up above
I will always be with you
I too will forever be sending my love

Written By Sue-Anne Aguilera
Mom Of Lee Henry Aguilera
10-17-1974~~~08-14-2000

In Loving Memory of Lee Henry Aguilera

In Loving Memory of Douglas
Ann, Laurasmom

Thinking of Douglas and sending you my very deepest Sympathy.
Please accept my small gift to honor his life.
Love
Ann, Laurasmom
In Loving Memory of Laura Ann Kimble